Potty training - Should I just give up ?

[pippylongstockings]

My DS2 will be 3 in Jan - so decided to give potty training a go last week. Bought pants v.excited, explained principles fully expecting lots of accidents ready to spend week at home.

Day 1 didn't want to wear pants at all - wouldn't sit on potty for any length of time. Didn't mamange to get any wee or poo in potty.

Day 2 keen to wear pants lots of 'I'm a big boy now' said needed to wee a couple of times but again won't wait for a wee. No wee in potty again all day.

Day 3 - Managed to get 3 wee's in potty. Got v.upset when did poo in pants. Then just started refusing to go onto potty but wetting himself shortly after.

Day 4 - again keen to wear pants but refusing to go when suggested. Getting quite upset at me. Wet all day.

Day 5 - Still no repeat of Day 3 success - just doesn't seem to understand the feeling of wanting to go. He is v.upset when wet's himself and I am just thinking give up for another month and then try again.

My DS1 just 'got' potty training within about 3 days and I suppose I thought DS2 would to. Any top tips suggestions would be great.

Remove pants.

Whack the heating up, and bribe with chocolate for any deposits in the potty.

Ds2 hated being told or asked to use the potty, so I wrapped it up as "When(not if) you have pushed a wee wee into your potty, you can have a Smartie!"

Ds2 took bloody ages, he's 3.7 now, been trained for about 3 weeks but not reliable!

Don't remove pants - at least they hold the poo in! And a week's not long in the grand scheme of things. If he managed it one day, he'll do it again soon. I realised my DC4 was ready when she presented a brimming potty to me saying "yum, yums" so bribes are always a good idea.

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!
you may have to go through all this again plus the rest - it does not sound like a complete disaster at all. you may be thinking of training outside in the summer but it does not always work out well like that - my ds was pretty distracted in the garden, it was ofter still too cold tbh and it only fell into place on the rainy days when we were stuck indoors

buy smarties and call them "toilet smarties" or "potty smarties" - if he does a wee in the potty/toilet he gets a smartie and if he does a poo he gets 2! seems to work in our house - ds2 seems to regress when i run out of smarties!

(obviously you can swap them for any other sweets!!)

dont give up - you'll get there!!

tou have to be existentialist about it: repeat to yourself 'i am the mop lady, i am only paid in kind (though bedtime hugs), this is what i do because i have no choice at the moment, i'll be quitting this job within the next few weeks'.... works, honestly!

I would (and did) give up. Had 3 attempts (each about 6 weeks apart) with ds1. First couple of times he got upset, refused to sit on the potty or loo and wet himself all day long. On 3rd attempt he took to it like a duck to water - next to no accidents, just got on with it. Much less stressful. Had to bribe him to get him to go on the potty on the first day or so (on attempts 1 and 2 he'd refused to accept the bribes).

Keep going - even DD who was quite good at it took at least 2 weeks to "get it" and then a month or so for me to trust her. She even fooled me and wet herself in mothercare one day about 4 weeks in .

IME there is a direct correlation between the Mummys attitude to a clean house and successful potty training - i.e I am a slatern relaxed normally so can deal with scrubbing the carpet daily (call it a novelty ), friends who are excellent housekeepers normally are freaked out by puddles and therefore pass bad vibes to their DC when training and have problems.

my first bite of PT DD took 7 days, and on the afternoon of day 7 we saw success. it can take time (she has only just pooed in the potty!! yay!!)

we did have regressions, but this was in part caused by using nappies for a weekend away. never again.

tips..

demonstrate good pottying (wee on it, treat yourself, make a fuss) or get an older sibling to do so.

when you notice he needs a wee induce him to sit on the potty (i did this with a drinkm which made her wee more, so we got more training done in a shorter space of time)

chocolate buttons.

i played DD Cbeebies Iplayer to get her to sit on the potty more (stopping when she stood up)

its one of those things that can take time - just like falling off a bike.

Well I have given up!

I had started with bribes from day 1, but as in a whole week he only managed 3 wee's in the potty (all of which on day 3) he only got 3 treats so not sure he was very incentivised.

He simply seems to have no awareness of needing to go - each time basically his bladder is full to bursting then it just comes out...he is so upset everytime that it has happened again.
It seems mean to keep up with it if he is crying about it (- plus keeping up with the washing!)

pippy I too have postponed it with dd2. (I find it easier to say we have put it off for a few weeks rather than given up)

I have found MrsJohnD's experience very reassuring/encouraging btw.

As a compromise we are at a halfway house. pull up nappies to make it easier to pull them up and down. Regular "pottying" to keep practising.