Involving children in decision making.

[Baringa]

Do you feel that it is good to involve children in decision making? I am a Granny - hope that is ok. When I was a child I wouldn't have wanted to make decisions - I wanted to be a child but then again, we were supposed to be seen and not heard!

Also is 'circle time' a good idea? Might some children feel excluded? My son couldn't talk until he was five. He was what I understand is called a 'speedy baby'. Quick to walk and too active to stop & listen. So circle time when pre-school would have been agonising for him.

My daughter (who is a new Mum) & I are having these discussions as she has started a OU course on child development & I suggested asking you Mums because my opinions appear to vary to current thinking....

Sorry, not very clear exactly what you're asking. What kind of decisions do you mean, eg what to have for lunch? what clothes to wear? or which parent to live with in the even of a split? And at what ages? Circle time does help to teach children that there are times for sitting still and concentrating in a group. Inevitably, some children learn more quickly than others and some really can't stand it, but that's not a reason for not doing it imo.

Maybe you can go into more detail about the questions you're asking.

I think it's a good idea to include children in decisions when they have enough understanding of the issues - so a 3yo can decide whether to wear the red t-shirt or the blue one, but not whether you should move house. OTOH I'd probably include a 10yo to some extent in bigger decisions, if there is a genuine choice.

Having some time in preschool when they are expected to sit still and calm is important, as it is a useful skill to learn before startng school.

It very much depends on the type of decisions the child is being asked to make, and how it is done. It s key to make sure it is child led, and that t is age approprate.

For instance - my 7y likes to help choose some of the meals that go on our weekly menu plan at home. From being very little she liked to have a say in her clothes - so I gace er a chose of two each day. Her level of decision making has grown over the years and she s also asked to justify her choice now she s 7y.

DD was a verbal toddler/child and was very much ready to give her own thoughts. lol!

If done properly all children can take part in circle time. The way a child who is not as verbal is asked and encouraged to speak makes the dfference here, and a good child carer will take this into account. IME circle time is a great time to share news and all children take a role in either listening or talking.