My 2.3 son keeps pinching other children

[KatieCupCake]

Hi, I have a DS 2.3 who is pretty mean to other children, he pushes them away if they get too close and will do whatever he needs to, to get a toy he wants from another child. I remove him from the situation and tell him it's wrong and he must say sorry. I'm sure this is quite normal for his age & lack of speech and hopefully just a phase.

This has been happening for about 6 months but what he's started doing in the last 2 months is to go up to any child he sees (at nursery or at a kids club) and pinch their faces, sometimes he knows the other child and sometimes not. As with the pushing I remove him from the other child, check the other child if ok and then tell my son how wrong it is to hurt others & make them sad.

I'm worried this is not normal & don't know how long it's likely to carry on for. I try to praise him for good behaviour and want to carry on taking him to these places but wonder if I'd be better keeping him away from Kid's clubs until it's stopped, he has to still go to nursery anyway.

Any help would be great - thanks

I do sympathise from a mother whose well behaved boy now pulls and grabs at others hair whenever they get near. I'm sorry I can't really give advise but lets hope it's just a phase as my Auntie always says.

My friend's dd2 used to do stuff like this to my ds3 all the time when they were toddlers (they are pretty much the same age). Her mum used to take her away from ds3 and tell her it was not nice to hurt other children, but it didn't do much good. She even used to put her dd in the highchair, so that she couldn't get at ds3 - but ds3 used to go and stand right by the highchair where she could reach him.

She did just grow out of it in time. It wasn't a nice phase for her mother or for ds3, but I could see that my friend was trying to teach her dd that she shouldn't be hairpulling etc, and I knew she was doing her best, so I didn't blame her or get worked up about it. Hopefully the other mums at playgroup etc will see that you are dealing with the problem when it occurs and will be patient with you and your ds until the phase passes.

We had a similar problem with DD, I used to pick her up, stick her under my arm and leave ( after checking other child) without speaking. I had explained to the other mums ( it was a close knit group) and they were very supportive... not saying" oh it's ok" or "don't worry" in front of her.
She was 3 but newly adopted and I didn't want to be shouting at her and had tried explaining with no success.
Myself and the other mums laugh about it now. I did it maybe 4 times and after that period I would give a warning " If you hurt anyone we will be going straight home". She knew I would go through with it and for the most part, managed to check herself.
She is now 11 and hormones are kicking in..... can't fit her under my arm any more!!

Oh Katiecupcake (what a lovely nickname!) please don't worry about your little 2 year old. Children go through all sorts of phases like this, pinching, pushing, biting etc. It's all part of normal development especially around the 2 year mark - and it will pass..............honest. Mind that doesn't mean that in another 6 months you will be worrying about something else!

You are getting good advice from others. I think the main thing is to keep calm and don't over react or see it as something awful. I know it's difficult as other mums can take exception but it so long as you take some action (maybe as suggested by Shockers for example) I think that's all you can do.

Children do these things at 2 and 3 years, and it is to be expected. Much better that they do it at 2, rather than 22 - now that would be a problem!

Thanks very much for all the advice, it's really appreciated and great to know I'm not alone. I will try & worry less about what other parents think because he is adorable & I know he doesn't really want to hurt anyone - just be glad when this phase is over and we're onto the next one! Thanks again. K x