Angry Little Boy aged 2 and 3/4 years - WWYD?

[andirobobo]

My son is turning into an angry little boy - he has a terrible temper on him and it doesnt seem to be getting any better.

He is three in February, and his favourite phrases at the moment are:

I dont like you
You are not my friend
Go away, etc

all accompanied with an angry face and a sort of hiss / spitting face. It is getting to a point know where it needs sorting out.

It is generally caused by him not getting his own way or being told to stop doing something or me needing to get him dressed or in the bath, etc.

I have tried ignoring him, telling him to stop it, warning him with going to bed, etc, but he still does it. He knows it is wrong as he sarys 'sorry' straight after, but it seems to be an ongoing problem that appears to have no end.

He is generally a happy little boy and the only change he has had recently is at the Childminders - new kids starting, etc of a similar age. He doesnt do it there though.

Any ideas or suggestions?? Please!!

awwww

okay

a plan:

ignore ignore ignore

at this age it's all about attention, and being a clever wee thing he has found the perfect way to press your buttons

so if he says these things, don't react

use the broken record technique - we need to get dressed/shoes on/bathtime now and be prepared to wrangle him on occasion, when he must do what you ask

catch him being 'good' praise like mad when you can

and remember - it's just a phase (helps to whisper this through gritted teeth)

good luck

Sounds like a battle of the wills!

You could try pre-warning him when you need him to stop ie 5 more minutes then we are going to stop and do whatever.

Also dont ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no, instead of come and get dressed now to which he can reply no. Try come and get dressed now, shall we put on your trousers or t-shirt on first, iyswim.

Try to lighten the mood in situations where he can get angry, give him a tickle, a race up to the bathroom etc.

Hope this is of some help.

Not sure if I can be of help but I can say that my little boy is 3 in Feb and I totally recognise those phrases. I'm trying to console myself with the fact that at least he is using words to say how he feels now. Rather than getting down on the floor and screaming and head banging which is where we were a year ago!

I think I've noticed that he is worse when we are out of routine. For example, usually we get dressed before we have breakfast (get dressed and then you can have breakfast is what I say...). It is usually OK and he gets dressed at a pace I'm happy with. However my parents were visiting recently and he had breakfast in his pjs. It was then a nightmare getting him upstairs and dressed.

I would see the reason is that he is growing up: he is realising that Mummy gets her way. And naturally that makes him angry- don't we all want to get our own way. I would say it is a good sign that he has understood this. Ignore the anger (we're all allowed to be angry) and concentrate on getting your way. As long as he does get dressed/jump in the bath/walk along with you, it doesn't matter if he claims he hates you.

This sounds exactly like my ds. He's four and a half now and it's slowly getting better.

I have to say, it got really really hard as he seemed to get angrier and angrier over the last two years.

Not taking what he says too seriously is really important especially when he comes out with the hurtful stuff which they seem to be good at even at such a young age.

I would put a favourite toy away in my wardrobe if he was particularly objectionable.

I would always always factor in an extra 30 mins of getting ready time because there would always be a problem. That would reduce my sense of stress over being late.

And if you feel yourself getting angry, walk away, leave the room, don't engage because it won't achieve anything if you get into debate with a small child. I wish I'd done this more often and not let ds see how upset or annoyed I was.

Actively reward good behaviour - I don't actually know how effective this is but it made me feel better after I felt like I'd been on at ds all the time. It reduced some of the negativity of our relationship.

Good luck. It will pass. Don't know when but it will.

Thanks - it is good to hear others have had similar problems!

I do try to ignore it. I tried laughing at him but that would wind him up even more!!

Ignore is probably the best strategy. Or employ SuperNanny!!

He is a lovely little boy when he wants to be, honest!