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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Temperamental 3 month old

17 replies

shiney01 · 29/10/2009 11:15

My 3 month old little boy seems to be developing a hot temper. He will literally scream his head off for no (apparant) reason. If I pick him up he stops immediately and starts smiling at me but if I put him in his chair or playmat he starts screaming again.

I don't pick him up straightaway - I'll leave him for 5 mins or so but he just screams louder and louder.

Any advice, tips, etc as to what I can do ... I really want to nip this in the bud before it gets worse if possible.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BornToFolk · 29/10/2009 11:17

Why are you leaving him if he's screaming? Pick him up. He's only 3 months old, he just wants a cuddle from his mum, ffs.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 29/10/2009 11:18

awww

he's not temperamental or developing a hot temper

he just wants to be with his mummy

can you pop him in a sling to carry him ?

BornToFolk · 29/10/2009 11:19

Apologies for the "ffs", that was unnecessary. But really, he is so tiny, he just needs a lot of holding at the moment. I know it can be hard work, but leaving him to cry can't be much fun either surely?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 29/10/2009 11:27

Has someone said stuff to you along the lines of

Rod for your own back
Spoiling him
Get him in a routine straight away

I think that you may have been nobbled by a well-meaning but ill-informed person

Babies need the comfort of closeness - it's hard work but doesn't last forever

Original poster

shiney01 · 29/10/2009 11:27

I do pick him up and carry him around most of the time but there are times when I need to put him down for a short while and that's when he goes ballistic within about 5 seconds.

OP posts:

BoysAreLikeDogs · 29/10/2009 11:33

so you need to perfect the

30 second wee stop
drinking scalding/lukewarm tea in super fast time
quick n easy meal

can you put the carrycot onto the pram base and jiggle with your foot whilst you are doing stuff/answering the phone/chopping veg?

I feel for you, the early days are killers

TrinityHasAVampireRhino · 29/10/2009 11:37

isn't this just a joike thread off the back of the other one about people being to hard on newborns

I mean noone really leaves a three month old to 'nip it in the bud'

bloody hope its a joke

TheTerribleSpider · 29/10/2009 12:45

Perfectly normal - even at seven months all my daughter wants is to be with me. The time I can leave her to amuse herself, now she can, is lengthening every day. But when she does cry I pick her up.

At three months all a baby wants is to be close to you. They haven't learned that they are a seperate being yet.

TheTerribleSpider · 29/10/2009 12:52

Perfectly normal - even at seven months all my daughter wants is to be with me. The time I can leave her to amuse herself, now she can, is lengthening every day. But when she does cry I pick her up.

At three months all a baby wants is to be close to you. They haven't learned that they are a seperate being yet.

Stigaloid · 29/10/2009 12:52

Buy a sling!

TheTerribleSpider · 29/10/2009 12:53

Oops

eggontoast · 29/10/2009 13:17

I am going to be bossy here because it is something I feel VERY passionate about.

If you give a baby all it needs, including close contact whenever it feels lonely, scared or just bored, you will nurture the trust between mother and child and the separation anxiety will improve with time.

If you force a newborn to conform to ideas that they need to be alone, by leaving it in its own misery, you will only hard wire them towards negative feelings.

IGNORE anyone who tells to you are setting yourself up etc. because, I have never once met a child (not baby) that screams the moment its mother puts it down. All babies grow up into children and then adults, babyhood is just a period in time. No matter how draining it is, your baby needs you to be there for it. Babies brains cannot 'think' like we do, they just react to situations ie. feeling frightened, alone etc.

LOVE LOVE and more LOVE. Then, as your baby grows, they will want more and more freedom. There will come a day when they might not even want an offered kiss or cuddle. Make the most of it. Get a sling, they are lifesavers for babies that need closeness all the time.

Original poster

shiney01 · 29/10/2009 15:30

TrinityHasAVampire - you seem to have missed the part of the original message asking for advice, not criticism.

OP posts:

mananny · 29/10/2009 15:44

I second what eggontoast said. You can't hold a wee one enough they don't know they are seperate from the nearest hugger yet so they want to be held. I snuggle my 4 month old charge a lot and if she wants to be left alone she lets me know by arching away etc. She's pretty secure I hope, in knowing that her parents or myself are there for her. She sleeps through the night 90% of the time and does ok with self soothing at night, so during the day we all get to give her all the snuggles she wants and needs It is hard work sometimes getting what needs to be done, done, but infants are teeny for such a short time that pretty soon you'll be past this stage. Pee fast and get used to cold tea

smileyboy · 29/10/2009 15:49

Wow people on here are quick to jump down your throat aren't they!? Everyone has to put a baby down from time to time whether they cry or not. We need to cook, deal with older children or wipe our arses for God's sake. Keep doing what you're going and obviously there will be a few minutes of the day where the baby will have to cry for you to get anything done.

I do agree with everyone on the fact that it doesn't last forever and it's totally normal for a baby to not want to be put down. My ds wouldn't be put down til he was about 9 months old and he could crawl! It was very hard work so I sympathise.

I agree that you shouldn't leave a baby to cry for no reason or try to change them into being non-clingy because it won't work. At 3 months all they want is milk and mummy to constantly comfort them.

I still wouldn't leave my 2 year old crying now but I do apreciate it s hard work!!

Jujubean77 · 29/10/2009 16:02

eh? Hot temper

YOur baby is tiny. Please just pick him up and cuddle him when he wants one.

thesecondcocking · 29/10/2009 16:23

i don't think your baby has developed the tools to manipulate yet-it's hard to not think they have personality traits and we do 'project' adult things onto them-if they are crying at that age then they probably have a need to be met,i think even genius/really advanced kids are quite a bit older before they learn that crying=someone comes running.
just try and do stuff one handed/quickly and forget drinking a hot cup of tea for a few more months!

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