discipline.When and how?

[mum2oliver]

My ds has just started to not want to do things and throwing little paddies.
Im in to a little baby signing and explaining really clearly when its time to go,this really helps most times.
He gets really upset when I tell him "no" after opening cupboards,touching tv/vid etc.He tests me and goes straight back to it even when iv moved him away and got down to his level and said "no"
What age can I start time out,I know every child is different but whats the use if they really dont understand?
How do you actually do time out?
I thought that a good way to do it would be to sit them on your lap or if your on the floor have them in front of you,but there surely will come a time when they wont want to do that and therefore will srtruggle away so then you will end up holding them down.Any advice?

Hi Mum2oliver

You don't say how old your little one is, but he sounds a little young for time out. It's important that they learn to understand "no" from an early age and it sounds as if you are succeeding in this, as your ds is reacting to your no's. One book I found very helpful (123 Magic) suggested two years as the ideal time to start time out. We started a little earlier with ours, but with limited success. Until two I find that having said no, and removed the child from the problem, you then need to provide a distraction: " I said 'no'. Now lets go into the other room, and find (a favourite toy/book/pet)" (or if all else fails. 'Come here, I'm going to turn you upside down!') After two, they are then old enough to stay on the naughty step for a while, or to understand that if they do get off, they have to go back for another visit.

Good luck

VTM

Move the baby away from the source of mischief, and keep ng it, again and again, give him something else to do as well.

Discipline is pointless before 18 months imo

I'm going to disagree and say it depends on the child - DS1 certainly didn't respond to discipline until he was over 2yrs old, DS2 on the other hand has been put in 'time out' (and now naughty step at 18 months) for a couple of months now. He even knows when he's been naughty what happens, if I catch him doing something he shouldn't be doing (again) I tell him 'naughty' and he looks at me very sheepishly and takes himself off to the naughty step.

Although he's getting cheeky now - he sits RIGHT on the edge of the step, practically inside door (the bottom step is adjacent to the living room door) and I have to go and move him over so I can close it too

I think introducing the concept of "no" from very early is a good idea - we started saying "no" the minute our ds's were on the move! But until they're at least 2 you have to be prepared for them to ignore it/test it and there's not much you can do other than distraction, I think. Our 3.5 year old has time outs if needed and they work OK for him, but our 14 month old gets told "no" (and I'm pretty sure understands we mean him to stop doing whatever it is! ), but will usually carry on with a cheeky smile, or repeat the "no" but do it anyway, or will sometimes stop! If he carries on, I either say "no" again really firmly, or remove him - usually ends in tears - but I'll give him something else to play with/do.

It's tricky - I think this is the worst year (from about 1 - 2) in terms of them being able to walk/climb etc. but not having much common sense!

agree with colditz.

and also, you coud give him a 'safe' cupboard that he can open and play with things inside, saucepans etc

I think you need to pick your battles too. Some things are really important like no biting or hitting, pulling the cat's tail etc, but some things you just have to let go otherwise you spend all day shouting. Does it really matter if he touches the TV? Can you put child locks on some of the cupboards and let him in the others? The novelty of cupboards will wear off far faster if there's no big reaction to opening the doors.

My ds is 15months.Im really pleased and grateful for all this advice,thank you all.There is no harm in him playing in the beaker cupboard but it isnt a good idea when Im trying to cook which makes it dangerous so I feel I have to be consistent with it or he just wont understand.He turns the tv up to the highest volume so it is a bit of a pain and also will think its ok to touch everyones tv when out visiting.
Iv realised that I actually sound like a beast for wanting to discipline my ds for touching the tv and opening cupboards! Im not really.

I agree with Gwenick, but all my friends think I am incredibly strict.

I put her in 'isolation' (go to your room) from around 18 months. She was quite forward and was speaking in sentences by then, so she knew EXACTLY what was going on.

Can you put a baby gate on the kitchen to keep him out while you are cooking? If not, I think he should be able to understand NO when cooking, and YES at other times. Or find a cupboard away from the oven that he CAN play in while you are cooking?