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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

dummies gone kids screaming

16 replies

princessllama · 17/10/2009 18:26

what have i done? i copied supernanny's instructions and gave the dummies to the dummy fairies. now dd (3) and ds(18months) are screaming their heads off upstairs. dh and i are trying to be brave as we go in every 5 minutes for another cuddle and snot wiping session. have done much bribery. still crying. should i have left them in peace?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colditz · 17/10/2009 18:28

oh just give them their dummies back. Why the fuck does it matter? Just because Superfanny said so?

It's cruel to take a comfort object for the sake of it.

busybutterfly · 18/10/2009 11:05

Good for you, dummies are horrible things.

Be strong!

FlamingoBingo · 18/10/2009 11:08

What happened? Poor things .

They still need to suckle at this age, so if ther're not still bfing, cruel to take dummies away IMO...and this coming from a confirmed dummy hater!

ShinyAndNew · 18/10/2009 11:12

Can't you just hide the dummies through the day?

Dd2 has her dummy on a night and puts it under her pillow every morning.

LittleHarrysMum · 18/10/2009 11:27

Be strong and keep with it!! Did this with my DS (3)(god he LOVED his dummies!) about 6 weeks ago the first night was hell, second was better, third he only asked and didn't cry and now it is totally forgotten. Took about a week but is well worth it!!! Luckily my DD (11mo) wouldn't take a dummy so won't have the same hassle with her!!!

drinkyourmilk · 18/10/2009 11:42

I would have left the 18mth old with one, but taken the 3yr olds. Damage to teeth starts to become pretty apparent by the time they are 3 i've found.
think you can only do your best (dummies are such a contentious issue!). If you believe they shouldn't have them anymore then don't give in (they can't scream forever, and i can't foresee any long term damage- ma take them to get a new nighttime comforter if you think it may help), if you don't really feel strongly about it then give them back - they are unlikely to still have them when they are 18yr!

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facebookaddict · 18/10/2009 12:01

Reading with much interest as we have plans to do same for DS1 (2.5yrs) just after xmas.

He is fully aware, much discussion about dummy fairy who will give much wished for bike in exchange for nighttime dummy (only has at night). He will keep his bunny !!! (he has made very certain that fairy will not take bunny) and is very very keen on the idea. But I am not confident that I will be able to see him upset for very long if the exchange is less rewarding than his expects.

For those that did it - what did you do on first night? Keep him in your bed, offer something else, or just go cold turkey and insist on sleep?!!?

DD won't take dummy which has been its own hell as she has scratched her face every time she tries to find thumb and can't get it in the snowsuit when in buggy....

Not sure which is better but I have to say I have been glad of dummy for DS1 as it is never used out of bed and ensures he sleeps well everywhere. Concerns for DD's thumb sucking are that she'll do it all the time and refuse to converse properly!!!

Those with experience, please keep posting...

Lulumama · 18/10/2009 12:05

i would give them the dummies back until they are old enough to understand the dummy fairy concept

we did this with DD when she was 3 and it worked great as she was old enough to understand and we had no tears and no asking for the dummy

it was her only comfort and if i had taken it off her sooner, say 18 months, it would have been hell for all of us

if dummies soothe your DCs and make things easier and less stressful for all of you, why would you take them away at this point?

Geocentric · 18/10/2009 12:06

You just have to stick it out, if you're going cold turkey. Its really distressing at first, but in a few days things should have settld down (DDs first night, DH had to almost physically restrain me from going out and buying another!). Thing is, they'll settle down soon, but you will miss it forever... (I could do with a dummy for mine at times - DCs are 6 and 5!!!).

Original poster

princessllama · 18/10/2009 18:52

well...we survived day 1. the kids slept through after crying for about 20minutes on and off at 6.30. woke up very early and v excited about the fairies. lots of jumping up and down when they got a present and a thank you card from the fairies this morning. rewarded with special cereal at breakfast for last night's bravery. no talk of dummies all day.
lights out time tonight dd said she couldn't cope without her dummies. when she was reminded about the special cereal tomorrow morning she said no more and is now asleep. ds has done 10minutes off and on whiny crying but stops and gives you a big smile when reminded of the special cereal.
IMO ds does understand at 18 months enough of what's going on. maybe we should have left it til later but it's done now. he loves being the same as his big sister so doing it for them at the same time is good for that.
facebookaddict i agree with geocentric, littleharrysmum and others-it is worth it. night 2 is definitely better. it has already gone quiet upstairs. i wouldn't change anything like putting them in our bed as i'm getting rid of one habit i don't want to start another (please, no lectures on co-sleeping-if that's your bag then fine, just not for me). we have been going in every 5 minutes for hugs and reassurance. we worked out this weekend was best as it is the weekend before her birthday. dh is here to help and she has all the excitement of next week to look forward to.

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busybutterfly · 18/10/2009 20:45

WELL DONE!

facebookaddict · 19/10/2009 14:03

Oh excellent work, makes me feel v positive about plans now although wish we'd been clever enough to withhold special cereal for this purpose... instead of committing to pushing a too small cyclist round on bike with stabilizers for the next year!

lucygreen · 19/10/2009 14:16

does it matter after all we were the generation whos mums got us to give them up just in time for us to re descover them in time to have one to go clubbing and if we were honest to quite like the comfort too, lilly allan is quite public about still having on yet she is so well balanced in many ways,

Original poster

princessllama · 20/10/2009 18:49

IMO yes it does matter. having seen the mouths of several kids who are dummy addicts. also, don't you owe it to your children to try to get rid of the dummy before they get to being adult and most of the rest of the population regarding them as freaks? lilly allen may or may not be well adjusted but i think it is totally not normal to have a dummy as a grown up.
anyway...Day 3 went brilliantly. dd didnt mention the dummy at all. asked for a few extra hugs at bedtime and took 20 minutes before she went to sleep. ds winged for about 10minutes.
Day 4-no crying. no one asked for a dummy. 2 happy children singing to themselves and chatting to each other as they go to bed. RESULT. i am so glad i did this.

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Justine2912 · 20/10/2009 19:14

We have just gone through this with our 2.8 and it wasnt too bad shouted for it first couple of nights but now he doesnt even ask for it. However we told him that we had left them on holiday and we couldnt go back and get them but he found some in the house and I said that spiders had been crawling all over them and he threw it in the bin!!!!

Original poster

princessllama · 28/10/2009 09:46

one week since the dummies went and it is a triumph. the kids are sleeping better and we are not being called down twice a night because they've lost a dummy. well worth it.

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