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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Door obsession!! Help

13 replies

Squiglet · 15/10/2009 22:04

21 months old ds2 is completely obsessed with doors. Has been for about 5 months and not relenting. It is getting to me as when i go to friends or family i spend most of the time trying to stop him going into all the cupboards, or slamming people in doors or his own little fingers. He shut his finger in stairgate and despite it hurting he still wont leave it. I really do not know how to approach this now.

Have tried and do continue to try distraction, firm and clear 'no' and moving him away, have tried to ignore it as well but no joy. When out and about he's trying all the car doors he can and front doors . He is also a runner so have to use reins. He has no recall and it is terrifying his complete lack of fear.

Doesnt help that strangers smile and giggle because when he is up to his antics he smiles at everyone in an extremely cute way. He is adorable.

He has today taken to hitting me and dp in face sor pinching then either immediately stroking our arms grinning from ear to ear (stroking arm is a way of saying sorry) or just stopping and looking around.

IS this a stage, are we alone or am i a completel parenting fuck up?

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ShinyAndNew · 15/10/2009 22:08

It is a stage. Dd2 went through it. Infact she still hits DH and then cuddles him. She also has that very cute, mischeif smile that makes every one melt into fits of 'ahh' and giggles.

She got bored of doors when she was about two, but she does occassionly still like to have a rummage in MILs cuboards as she knows the sweets are kept there

MrsBadger · 15/10/2009 22:11

I would pick your battles

dd is 2.2 and loves doors and door handles - plays peekaboo, likes to shut herself in her bedroom then come out to say 'surprise', closes all the upstairs ones on the way to bed etc. Has only caught a finger once or twice and generally uses them responsibly and safely.

We saw her cousin (22m) at the weekend and the dad spent nearly all his time like a stuck record going 'no we don;t play with doors, no we don't play with doors'

I know who had a better time, and I know who is safer around them...

peggotty · 15/10/2009 22:11

My ds is the same age and is similarily totally obsessed with doors, as is my friends 21 month old!! We're quite lucky in that in our house the room door handles are too high for him to reach but he is constantly at cupboards and also tries car doors when we are out walking. Unfortunately I have no advice on how to stop it, am just assuming he'll grow out of it!

Drooper · 15/10/2009 22:14

He sounds lovely!

By the way I think you are handling his door fascination just right- it is just a phase and he will move onto something else. Does he have any play doors eg on playhouse or play washing machine etc or will only the real thing do?

The hitting and pinching is just to see what happens- it's not personal. They are so impulsive at this age and just trying everything out, including hitting. Stay calm, say no and put him down when he does it. He will soon learn that nothing fun happens when he hits (by fun I mean attention).

Toddlers are so cute (to watch and not have to teach!)

Original poster

Squiglet · 15/10/2009 22:23

Thanks, glad he not the only one Badger, wouldnt mind so much if he was just nicely opening them and shutting them but he isnt, he charges around friends houses and slams them in his excitement. At home it isnt such an issue as usually quite safe (except with stairgate today). I feel like a broken record with him though.

Peggoty - glad i'm not alone in this

Drooper - with the hitting should i leave the whole 'dont hit/pinch, say sorry' and just completely ignore it. Good idea about the doors on toys. Think it would be good to get a washing amchine for him. I know he would love a wendy house but not likely getting him one as have lots of outdoor stuff including command post of his big brothers. He played in John Lewis in one the other tday which he loved opening windows and doors for ages. Meltdown when we had to go.

Shiney - hope ds grows out of it soon too. You've given me and dp hope

OP posts:

Drooper · 15/10/2009 22:27

Hi, I wouldn't bother trying to get him to say sorry, he's a bit too young. Carry on saying a calm, firm 'no' or 'don't hit' and just put him down

Original poster

Squiglet · 15/10/2009 22:32

Drooper - ok, will do that. I've an older ds (9) and just cant remember all the stages any more.

OP posts:

PinkPussyCat · 15/10/2009 22:37

My ds is 2.3 and has been obsessed with doors and gates for as long as I can remember.

I get so embarrassed whenever we go to the park and all the other kids are playing happily on swings/slides/seesaws and ds is firmly stood at the gate opening and shutting and opening and shutting and opening and shutting...
My Dad helpfully says it's all down to us having so many safety gates in the house (we have 2) that he's developed this.

AAAARGHHHH!

I truly thought ds was the only child in the world who did this. Will watch thread in hope of one day having a 'normal' outing!

Original poster

Squiglet · 15/10/2009 22:42

Pink - I had to read your reply out to dp as only yesterday went to the park with a group of neighbours and their kids and all of them expect mine were playing happliy on the equipment. He was stood by gate, opening... shutting... opening..... shutting.... opening... shutting...

I am a bit paranoid people will think hes completely bored and understimulated but that is not the case at all. Feel a bit eek that its still going on for you though.

OP posts:

PinkPussyCat · 16/10/2009 13:22

Yes I often worry what everyone is thinking too. I am clinging on to the fact that the staff at his nursery say he doesn't do it at all while he's there. There must be hope for us??

Rosebud05 · 16/10/2009 13:52

My dd was pretty obsessive about washing her hands at this age. I once spent a whole party holding her over the sink so that she could do just that. A bowl of water with a few bits in could sometimes keep her going at home. Do you think some plastic tat toys with doors ie cars, houses might help a bit?

Annya · 16/10/2009 18:52

Absolutely the same here! DS, now 2.6, has, thank God, pretty much grown out of his door/gate obsession.

Yes, I too used to sit and watch him at the park playing with the gate instead of the slides etc.

It faded first at home but whenever we went somewhere new - new doors, you see - he would start up again.

bluebump · 16/10/2009 18:58

My DS is like this and he's only 14 months. We went to visit a friend yesterday as it was her sons birthday and even with all the toys around he just went into the kitchen and opened all of the cupboard doors and shut them again.

I think DS will be a bolter too given half a chance. He's just learnt how to climb and I have now come into the lounge today to find him standing on the sofa arm reaching up to the bookshelf. I am never going to be able to leave him alone again am I for less than a minute???

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