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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Bedwetting 4 yr old - don't know what to do!!

19 replies

jennijones · 14/10/2009 13:41

My 4 yr old DD has been dry and in knickers during the day for ages. But she has no bladder-control at night at all!
With my 9 yr old I used to wake her up once a night at first to put her on the potty and that helped her get through the night untill she eventually had enough bladder control. It just seemed to happen without any problems. But this time round nothing seems to work!
I tried waking her up once per night and put her on the potty but she still wet the bed by morning.
After a while I tried just letting her sleep through, but she had a wet bed every single morning. I tried this for a few weeks, but she never ever had a dry night.
I tried limiting drinks at night too, with no effect.
I don't stress about it in front of her, as the last thing I want is to make an issue of it but I don't know what to do about it. I spoke to my healthvisitor who said we should just put her in pull-ups at night and eventually she would just stop weeing at night and this is what we have done, so at least I have a break from washing sheets every single day. But I'm at the end of my wits.
I also find it difficult sriking the right balance with my dd. I don't want her to worry about it or feel she is doing something "naughty", so we don't really make a fuss about the whole thing. But I'm starting to worry that it's not normal to be unable to go through the night without weeing.
Anybody got any advice or has had similar experiences? I think just some reassurance would be nice at this stage!!
Jen xx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Washersaurus · 14/10/2009 13:43

It is normal. Use pull ups and stop stressing.

CMOTdibbler · 14/10/2009 13:44

Totally normal not to be dry at night at 4. Just use pullups or nappies, and don't worry about it

IdrisTheDragon · 14/10/2009 13:45

Some children don't develop bladder control at night for a while, despite having been dry during the day. I think that up until about 7 is perfectly "normal".

I think that keeping her in pull ups at night for a while seems like a good idea.

FABIsInTraining · 14/10/2009 13:47

She is still very young and it is quite normal for a 4 year old to not go all night without a wee.

Tommy · 14/10/2009 13:50

my DS1 was in pull ups at night til he was nearly 7, DS2 was out of them at 3. They are all different and I wouldn't worry too much about it yet if I were you

colditz · 14/10/2009 13:56

Pull ups and dont worry about igain for the next 3 years.

theDeadPirateRoberts · 14/10/2009 13:58

Don't stress - if she doesn't wake up when wet she's not ready to night train. Have another go in 6 months. She may at some point just say she doesn't want a nappy any more, and that's when you stress if she's not ready for it!

sweetie66 · 14/10/2009 14:02

My DD is still in pull ups at night and she is 5 1/2yrs. We did try a period of waking her up for a wee but she got really upset at being woke up, quite often wouldnt/couldn't go and if she did she still wet the bed.

DH and I were getting very stressed and snappy due to lack of sleep and wondering why she couldn't do it. Because naturally we have assumed every other child is dry!

After much discussion we went back to pull ups. Thank God! A happy house hold has returned. She gets excited if her panties are dry in the morning, but does not mention if they are wet. She is calmer about it and much more relaxed.

I figure she will get there in her own time I just need to leave her alone.

Your DD sounds perfectly normal to me. Put the pull ups back on, relax and follow her lead.

ComeOveneer · 14/10/2009 14:04

DS will turn 5 in december and he still wears pajama pants. Restricting fluids, "Lifting" etc aren't recommended. This doesn't train them to by dry at night, just reduces urine production, or emptys the bladder. There is supposedly some hormon produced that triggers dryness at night, and until this happens there are no magic tricks to get them to be dry. Just pop her back into pull-ups and don't worry about it. As others have said unitl over 7 it isn't considered an issue!

FABIsInTraining · 14/10/2009 14:06

Mine was 7 1/2 before being dry.

My 6 year old is nowhere near ready.

My 4 year old was practically dry this morning.

No rhyme or reason to it.

ComeOveneer · 14/10/2009 14:07

"Two physical functions prevent bedwetting. The first is a hormone that reduces urine production at night. The second is the ability to wake up when the bladder is full. Children usually achieve nighttime dryness by developing one or both of these abilities. There appear to be some hereditary factors in how and when these develop.

The first ability is a hormone cycle that reduces the body's urine production. At about sunset each day, the body releases a minute burst of antidiuretic hormone (also known as arginine vasopressin or AVP). This hormone burst reduces the kidney's urine output well into the night so that the bladder does not get full until morning. This hormone cycle is not present at birth. Many children develop it between the ages of two and six years old, others between six and the end of puberty, and some not at all.

The second ability that helps people stay dry is waking when the bladder is full. This ability develops in the same age range as the vasopressin hormone, but is separate from that hormone cycle."

Original poster

jennijones · 14/10/2009 14:13

Thanks everyone!!! It's so nice to hear we are "normal"! I've been talking to a few other mums at school and had been getting the impression that my dd was the only one who couldn't go all night without weeing. Hearnig that loads of children are the same just helps me to stop worrying about it, I guess. So thank you very much!!

OP posts:

mumof2222222222222222boys · 14/10/2009 14:16

DS2 was brilliant over the summer...his pull ups were dry so we stopped using them for a couple of months. then we had a bad spell so back to pull ups...until I ran out on Sunday. Expected big puddles as his nappies had been sopping...but 3 dry nights on the trot.

Not sure this is very helpful, but would echo others who say it will happen when they are ready. However, worth having another go from time to time.

mumeeee · 14/10/2009 16:28

It's normal for a 4 year old to still wet the bed. Being dry in the day actually has no connection with being dry at night. Just continue using the pull ups for now and relax.

busybutterfly · 14/10/2009 18:44

Asda are doing a large pack of Dry Nites for £4 down from the usual price of £7.
Bought 2 packs today!

colditz · 14/10/2009 20:19

you don't need to buy drynites for a 4 year old, size 5 or 6 nappies or pullups will fit fine and are about half the price.

Washersaurus · 14/10/2009 20:32

I agree Colditz, Dry Nites are not necessary; DS1 is 4yo and is wearing size 6 pull ups from Lidl which cost around £3.50 for a pack of 18

FABIsInTraining · 15/10/2009 09:53

I tried the training pants for night time wearing for my 4 year old but they leaked.

busybutterfly · 15/10/2009 21:31

I suggested Dry Nites (£4 for a pack of 25 atm) because we also have a 17 month old who is in nappies and my DS2 wouldn't wear them, thought they were for babies.

Whatever works for you though eh?!

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