different practices in different countries

[codswallop]

My confessional booths abput sterilisation and microwaves have made me realise how different things are done abroad..

Is it true that the "Europeans" never warm milk or wind? This is what I have been told..

Any other different things>

This really is a facinating thread-so many differences and similarities between different cultures.
Suedonim reminded me of another thing here.The birth rate is very low about 1.2 I think.If a couple decide to have a second child the norm here is to have it when the 1st starts school - so there is often 6/7 years between siblings.

Naming-another 'hot' subject here.Babies are never called by their name until they have been christened - usually at 1 year plus.Until then they are called baby. Nobody 'chooses' names here there is a system- 1st son after paternal grandfather,1st daughter after paternal grandmother.2nd son - maternal grandfather , 2nd daughter - maternal grandmother.Very few couples dare not to follow these "rules" - family rifts lasting months or years can erupt and even divorces.And the woman who doesn't produce a son can get a hard time from husbands family.

My sister had her second child in France. she said after the birth she was given a glass of red wine "to build her up." Now thats what I call civilized!

christenin gthe same in finland - total secret

Can I ask a question: In Germany and Switzerland and other countries with very short school days - do mothers simply not go out to work at all? Or only in cases with close extended family?

Kmg1

A cynic might suggest that the school hours are a ploy to deter women from working. In practice there are Kinderhort - places which offer lunchtime supervision and a meal - and Tagesmutter, like a child minder, who can cover the gaps. Some women are able to work part time.

Families here seem as spread out as in Uk (at least around the cities) so extended families are not always available to help out.

A vote to regulate school hours here (not sure if country wide) was rejected last year.

Lucy 123 - I have a 98% BF rate for babies at birth in Madrid....From an WHO study.

Bron

In Italy the advice you receive depends from your obstetrician, so your eally get all sorts, though I think most will warn against raw eggs, but I know coffee is not discouraged, and the probably drink more than in the UK.
But they wind babies and warm milk as well.

no breastfeeding in public (I don't think anyone would frown but I've never seen anyone). In general they tend to keep newborns indoors as much as possible)

Birth is VERY MUCH Hospitalised and completely out of your control. Though I know practices in hospital vary a lot. But you're not offered painrelief in general!!

In pregnancy, you get more scans, blood tests and generally are checked much more that in the UK, if you go overdue, you are monitored daily to make sure baby's ok.

Instead of having a PG and a HV, your baby is assigned a peadiatrician from birth till about 10 (I think....)

mmm I agree with you, I think I tend to follow my instints much more than my friends in Italy who will only do what the Pead says, while I getso contrasting advice that I do what I think is best!!!

local councils subsidise nurseries for babies, so your fees depend on your earnings.

Kidergarten (full time fully paid by the state) starts at 3, school at 6.

In general there are not many facilities for babies (like changing areas) but people just love children and you get plenty of help anyway. (but forget public transport, Italian parents only travel by car!!)

kmg1

to answer your questiona bout short school days, in Italy the vast majority of children are looked after by grandparents, alternatively some schools something similar to after school clubs, or they use nannies.

A final touch, as in Holland, when a baby is born a pink/blue ribbon is hang from the door to announce it.

This is such a fascinating thread!
I've lived in the UK for a long time and had my dd here, so don't have direct experience of what it's like in France, but from friends and relatives it seems pregnancy and birth very very medicalised (is that a real word? you konw what I mean...) and very much out of the mother's control. A lot more check-ups scans etc. Obstetricians will not hesitate to put pregnant woman on diet if they think she's putting on too much weight. Have to say I was a bit surprised when I expressed concern to my MW about my weight gain and she said not to worry about it. Was also surprised never to have an internal examination either before or after giving birth.
A relative who is a midwife in a private clinic in France told me that it's not unusual for labour to be delayed to make sure the obstetrician is there when it happens!
It seems bf is not pushed very much (SIL was actually told better not to breastfeed as she was living in Paris and her milk would certainly be polluted...).
In some supermarkets, there are tills with priority for pregnant women and people with babies.
Can't think of anything else for now.

I forgot something:

pregnant women in Italy are absolutely obsessed with weight gain and so are their obs. I was told off at 5 months because I had already put on 5 kg!!!
It's just as well the ob never saw me at the end when I stopped weighing myself after passing the 15kg mark (still at 36 weeks!!!) can't imagine my final weight and couldn't care less

I owould LOve the priority till! Doyou think any satff would want to be on it?!!

I'm fascinated - don't know enough about actual practices, but I've also been struck by assumptions from Indian family/friends about the role of mothers. My cousin in Chennai absolutely assumed that my mum would be with me, for some time, after my daughter was born, and other friends have had mothers/mothers in law come to join them for AGES in the UK, USA and so on. I think my mum - despite having been here for decades, and being married to an Englishman - slightly assumed the same (I can't imagine anything worse)!

Can anyone tell me, do the french greet each other with a kiss(or 2 or 3) at the office, or is it strictly an out of the office thing?

When I worked in Paris the women greeted colleagues with two kisses, and the men shook hands with other men. Arriving at work was quite a ritual. And I must have been the only person ever to reply to 'Ca va?' with a 'Non!' because I was feeling grumpy. They thought I was mad because I used to work through lunch. I used to hate the constant kissing and guessing how many to give.

I am curious as to what the rationale is behind no gas & air being available during labour?

The (Irish) midwife told me that Spanish health types regard gas and air as being "medieval" technology, presumably as opposed to your ultra modern pethedine and epidurals.

I think it's a clear case of the better on-paper solution beating the better real-life solution. I am sorely tempted to return to the UK to have this baby (although other anti natal care stuff is excellent)

hi suedonim, sorry it took me a while to get back, poorly baby. I lived in Malang, East Java for 2 1/2 years, I taught at a school there. Not so hot or polluted as the big cities, but we still had a McDonalds! (only place downtown with airconditioning) Have you noticed in Indonesia babies are never allowed to cry? You do ANYTHING to quieten a crying baby. And babyhood lasts until about 4 years, so an under 4 is not expected to understand more than a baby i.e. you would never say No to an under 4.

Here in Kazakhstan the babies don't wear nappies either, traditionally they are swaddled into a wooden cradle with a hole under the bum... (I still don't know what most city people do, they certainly don't use nappies, pampers cost more than in UK, and all the clothes have no space in the bum for nappies) Most kids are potty trained by about 12 months, they think it is seriously bizarre for a 2 year old to be running around in a nappy. No-one uses slings or prams, children under two are carried everywhere. (except in winter when they stay indoors all the time). Small families are the norm, one or two kids with big space between.
People are unbelievably nice on buses, someone always stands up for a pregnant mum, anyone carrying a child, old people, or anyone carrying lots of shopping (or they take the shopping from you and put it on their lap) If no-one stands up, you can be sure that someone on the bus will start shouting at some poor teenage lad to mind his manners and stand up for that poor lady!

I've just consulted my trusty Lonely Planet guide, Steppemum and read up about Malang. It sounds nice! Is it true that half the population consists of students?? What did you teach and when were you here?

That's so true about babies not being allowed to cry. It's a real shock to me hear a crying baby, now. And they never seem to have tantrums or terrible twos, either. Not all four yr olds in Jakarta are treated as babies, though. Some of them are sent out to work as beggars and in wet weather tiny tots appear with umbrellas to escort people to their cars and earn a few rupiah.

LOL at the old ladies shouting at teenagers on buses, so funny!

oh yeah steppemum - forgot those eastern european manners - chivalry is big out there as well then? I really miss it here but in Poland everyone stood up for old ladies (who were usually seriously scary if you didn't) pregnant women, women with kids etc - great stuff. Although also easy to offend people by accident iykwim.

do people really not use anything at all for nappies??? What about when you are carrying babies - don't you get covered with wee?

I wondered that too Morocco, I can understand how they would be toilet trained early, but what about a new born who has no control of it's bowels?

People here and in India are kind of tuned in to when babies are going to perform and they 'hold them out' when they sense a pee or poo is about to make an appearance. Here's a website about Elimination Communication

in the philipines i saw babies and toddlers wearing troussers with a big hole around the bum and the front so no nappies there either,is that what they wear in jakarta suedonim?

suedonim- you obviously haven't read the continuum concept

I've got the CC book in my bookcase here, Jimjams, but have yet to read it, lol! What does it say?

Whymummy, I haven't seen any special clothing like that for babies. Baby girls wear knickers underneath dresses (I was given a 3 mth girl to hold and it was a bit un-nerving when I realised there was no nappy!!) and boys wear t-shirts and shorts or sleeveless body suits, presumbly with some sort of pants/knickers underneath. That's when they're not wearing snowsuits, of course!!

If babies are carried all the time, an do all the other continuum concept 'stuff' then they don't have the terrible twos! It's worth a read- all taken with a pinch of salt of course....