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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What would you do if your 6 yr old got up to change places once a fairground ride had started?

46 replies

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 10:46

This is what my son did. We could do nothing until the ride was finished. My DH was insistent that he wanted to handle it, but I was furious when all he did was give him a 'talking to' and nothing more.

My inclination was to go home straight away, so that this would be a lesson he would remember. His behaviour had potentially tragic consequences. My DH said it was 'a mistake on DS' part'. My argument is that however wide-eyed and innocent a 'mistake' it was, it was an oppurtunity to divert future disaster by driving the lesson home in ways that would be memorable to him. Even half an hour of not going on rides while his siblings did might have sufficed. I am furious!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ninedragons · 11/10/2009 10:47

I would have done exactly the same as you would. A talking-to is insufficient for really dangerous behaviour.

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 10:48

Thank you!

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Shitemum · 11/10/2009 10:51

didnt the owners of the ride say anything?

cornsilk · 11/10/2009 10:53

I'm with dh.

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 10:53

My thoughts exactly. I was furiously gesticulating, but they seemed non-chalant.

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Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 10:56

Seriously, cornsilk? I'm not being confrontational, but I would really like to know why. I'm trying to be objective.

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DailyMailNameChanger · 11/10/2009 10:59

Are you sure your son realised this was not allowed? I would have said going home etc is an over-reaction for a first offence. Why not assume he has a bit more about him and is able to take on board what is being said to him in a conversation.

If it were that dangerous for him to be moving the ride would have had the type of straps that would have made sure he couldn't move - as they have to by law. These kind af rides have to go through major risk asessments etc so if the owners were nonchelant the chances are that he was fairly safe.

I would have done exactly what your DH did - but then I trust my dc to listen to what is being said to them!

ninedragons · 11/10/2009 11:00

I am surprised the owners didn't hit the kill switch.

I saw a drug-fucked idiot very nearly kill himself on a fairground ride - it was one of those centrifugal ones where everyone stands in an individual cage and the ride spins around and then rises and tilts. He climbed out of his little cage and stood on the bar that should have been across his waist.

If I were you, next time I went to a fair or a fete, DS wouldn't be allowed on any rides because I couldn't trust him. Watching forlornly from the ground should teach him.

cornsilk · 11/10/2009 11:02

Because I don't think that taking him home would necessarily have a greater effect than talking to him about it and warning him etc the next time you go to the fairground. Surely he stood up out of excitement and wasn't thinking of the consequences because he is 6. I would sit next to him next time he's on a ride.

MrsMorgan · 11/10/2009 11:03

I agree with your DH too. Your ds may have really not understood the consequences of his actions and so I think your dh explaining it to him and telling him off was enough.

Obviously if he then did it again then yes take him home.

ninedragons · 11/10/2009 11:03

Actually what sort of ride are we talking about? Rollercoaster or tea cups? In my head I am picturing the Blackpool rollercoaster but admittedly it's not such a big deal if the ride is a Dumbo carousel.

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:05

My DS does seem to have a kind of blindness toward certain 'boundaries'. I'm quite sure he knew that this behaviour isn't allowed, but I don't think for one minute that this was foremost in his mind as he changed places with his brother. Th ride was actually elevating as he stood up, pushed his brother to one side, and sat in his preferred seat.

We are ever working on his ability to accept and heed certain 'boundaries' in every day life, and I have to say I saw little contrition in him. He has an amazing zest for life, but this veils his appreciation for norms of behaviour.

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DailyMailNameChanger · 11/10/2009 11:06

Ninedragons, I was assuming that - as he is 6 and was on it without an adult and was able to get out of the straps, it was going to be a fairly tame ride - could be wrong I suppose?

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:08

It was aeroplanes that elevate and rotate, basically. Not scary, but not entry-level, either.

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DailyMailNameChanger · 11/10/2009 11:09

Ok... once again info that would have been useful in the op really

If he has boundary issues then perhaps a different approach (although still not going home or 30 mins enforced "watch yur siblings have fun") but then - he is 6, IME/O boundary issues go with the territory so it would depend on exactly what you mean by that TBH, the usual stuff (and it sounds like your dh may think that is what it is) or something a bit more sinster. FWIW lack of contrition tends to go with the age as well.

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:09

They raised maybe 6 or 7 ft off the ground.

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Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:10

What different approach?

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purepurple · 11/10/2009 11:15

I wouldn't have taken him home. I think discussing in a calm manner, describing the consequences and telling him how it made you feel would be a far better approach than going into 'shouty' mode.
You do know that children tend to switch off and not take any notice when parents do 'shouty', don't you?

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:16

Anyway, not so much "watch yur siblings have fun" as, "please remember never to do this again, because you're precious, and amazing, and not being a great example to your 4 year old DB right now"

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Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:17

and, "we don't want you to come to any harm"

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cornsilk · 11/10/2009 11:17

Agree with PP. Remind him next time you go to the fairground. He needs to understand that he doesn't stand up because it's dangerous, not because it makes mummy cross.

Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:18

I don't do 'shouty'. There was plenty of it in my childhood not to perpetuate it.

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Original poster

lagaanisace · 11/10/2009 11:21

This is all stuff he knows. Over and over we explain such issues. I really think he needs demonstration to back up the explanation.

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Georgimama · 11/10/2009 11:22

If he has boundary issues and a casual attitude to personal safety, did you specifically remind him that he had to sit still and keep straps on etc once ride started? I wouldn't trust a six year old to remember that and would always remind them.

Your suggestion sounds an over reaction if you didn't specifically remind him. If you did, then your call.

DailyMailNameChanger · 11/10/2009 11:24

lagaanisace - I am fairly certain that is not how a 6yo would have taken the lesson, far more likely they would see it as "stand and watch the others have fun".

When I asked if he new not to do it I meant did you explain it to him when you arrived at the fair? And again bfore he went on the ride? At 6yo I would expect to have to say it again for every ride they went on - unles you go to fairs every week? Add in a 4yo and I would be telling them pretty much constantly, the broken record approach is the only way to keep it in their heads at that age IMO.

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