another question about smiling...

[smeraldina]

Hello all,

my lovely baby son (first baby) is a little slow on the smiling front. He's 13 weeks old but was three weeks early (born at 37 weeks). I've been getting about one smile every day, with some days none at all. It's been like this for about a week. He first smiled about a month ago. He also doesn't do a great deal of gazing at my face - lots of looking around, over my shoulder etc. When the smile arrives it is usually a full wide big one ... but the HV said at this age he should be 'smiling all the time'....

I have been to the GP two weeks ago who said he seemed ok and to wait and see - but I'd love to stop fretting if poss - anyone got any stories of late or infrequent smilers?

many thanks....

So he smiled at about 9 weeks and was 3 weeks early. Bang on time with the smiling, then. Your GP thinks he's OK. Do you have any other concerns about his development? If not, try and relax. He sounds as if he's doing enough for his age.

The wonders of mumsnet. Thank you for replying! I think it's just been a worrying journey thus far (he was small for dates at birth - 5lb 7 - had 10 days in hospital with suspected infection, lumber puncture etc) so my anxiety level has been raised. I think my concern about infrequent smiling has been strengthened by the fact that he spends a lot of time looking around, not at me, together with the baby books which say that by 10 weeks he should be recognising me and smiling when I walk into the room...? Plus the HV telling me that he was probably ok but that I should 'check he is progressing' and she 'didn't want to miss anything' which sounded a bit ominous. This meant I spent yesterday watching him like a hawk and grinning incessantly...desperately want to just relax and admire and play with my beautiful baby and actually feel quite upset by HV and defensive and protective which is an odd reaction as I suppose she is only doing her job.

First of all, any age in a baby book is going to be an average and should not be taken as gospel. Babies are not machines, and they haven't read the books!

Second of all your HV sounds like an alarmist.

My DS, now nearly 4 months, did not really smile every day until he was bout 12 - 13 weeks. I would get little lip twitches, but not full blow smiles.

I really would try to relax and enjoy your baby.

Oh, and throw the baby books away!!!!

I think I would ask your health visitor if she smiles all the time!!

dd1 was not a particularly smiley baby, she is nearly 7 years now and seems to be perfectly normal.

It is very difficult dealing with HV's with your first child when you are unsure and would just like some reassurance you do tend to take everything they say to heart (or I did anyway).

As you said you just want to relax and admire and play with your beautiful baby so I would suggest you do that and take everything a HV or parenting book says with a large pinch of salt. (and come to mumsnet for some commonsense advice).

HTH as I am not really a morning person.

DD didn't smile until 9 weeks (she was one week early), and I was very worried. Until I realised that I probably hadn't smiled that much either during that time....

She is now a very happy, smiley toddler, so don't worry.

Thank you all...you got me through a worrisom 24 hours...something clicked the day after I posted. His grandma visited, and he started smiling and laughing at her repeatedly - and has suddenly become all cheerful and responsive (well, some of the time anyway, when he's not grizzling/feeding/possetting/screaming). Relieved and delighted.

Fantastic, really pleased for you. Enjoy your baby in peace.