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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What age did your child give up a dummy and how did you do it???

19 replies

sjcmum · 07/10/2009 13:56

DD1 is just over 3 and still has a dummy. She told me she wouldn't have them when 3, but now is v.reluctant to give them up. I'm trying to cut down how much she has it - generally just for sleeps - but she insists on having it in the car most of the time, and has a major strop if she doesn't.

Should I just go cold turkey or wait for her to choose when to stop having it? Any experiences or suggestions would be appreciated....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MamaG · 07/10/2009 14:00

How about doing the CHristmas/bribery route?!

Keep telling her that on C.Eve when she leaves her mince pie out for santa she is to leave her dummies out too and if she does, she'll get lots of lovely presents and santa can give all thedummies to teh babies, you're a big girl now and don't need them any more etc

it worked with my DD at 3

ladyhelen2 · 07/10/2009 14:02

DS gave up his dummy last Christmas. He was 3.6yrs. He collected them all up on Christmas Eve, put them in a box and left them under the tree for Santa to take to give to some babies. Santa took them, and left him a special gift in return. We haven't looked back since, even when his baby brother arrived equipped with a dummy!

Obviously we had talked to DS about Santa taking the dummies so he wasn't taken by surprise by this. Other friends have used the dummy fairy and the Easter Bunny, all with special gifts in return, and this tactic seems to work well!

I was bricking it that first night but, as I say, we haven't looked back since.

HTH

ladyhelen2 · 07/10/2009 14:02

Great minds, MamaG. X post!

colditz · 07/10/2009 14:04

Ds1 was six, and his new grownup teeth came through. He was proud of them, and I explained that a dummy might ruin them. He ditched it instantly.

Ds2 is 3.5 and still has one (with my kids they only ever get it for sleep times, so no issue with speech)

notnowbernard · 07/10/2009 14:04

I've done it cold turkey twice

1st time helped along with the Father Christmas thing

I just had to let them strop... DD2 was harder and stropped for longer. They were both around the 3yr mark. Had forgotten completely about the dummy after about a week and DD2 now boasts that she doesn't have one anymore!

colditz · 07/10/2009 14:04

I am aall for informed choice, re comfort objects. I couldn't just take one.

MamaG · 07/10/2009 14:07

Agree colditz, my DC were given the choice about the christmas thing and it worked well both times, neither of them ever asked for a dummy again (and they were SO attached to them, esp DS)

Original poster

sjcmum · 07/10/2009 14:08

Thankyou - Like the Christmas suggestion - think that might work....although last year she was a bit scared of Father Christmas. Part of trouble is DD2 (9months) has one so she sees her with it and wants one.

Just wondering if it will makes the nights worse, as at the moment she has 4 or 5 dummies in bed with her, and often holds one in each hand as a comfort thing as well as in her mouth. With DD2 being such a bad sleeper, I'm not sure I can cope with more night disruptions just at the moment...

OP posts:

Bleatblurt · 07/10/2009 14:11

My DS1 was 2.11
We were rushing out one day and I told him to go get a dummy and he refused. I was doing ten other things (and hugely pg) so refused to go fetch one and said if he didn't get it we'd go without it.
So we did. In the car he whined for less than a minute and went to sleep without it. We decided to try not to give it to him anymore (but if he asked we'd have let him have it!) but he was fine! I'd worried for ages about him never wanting to give it up but once he'd gone without it once he just didn't bother.

My DS3 is 22 months and loves his. He'll get to keep it until he decides he doesn't want it anymore. I figure I wouldn't take a sooky blanket or teddy off him so he can keep the dummy. (and I'll keep glaring at people that comment on it).

FlightAttendant · 07/10/2009 14:12

ds is 6 now, not really ready it would seem...

I never minded it till very recently when it stops me understanding what he is saying.

Before that he used it infrequently and it didn't matter but when you get 'mshysw\oifnkzj pleash' repeatedly it just makes you want to scream.

He'll give up in his own time I guess (if I keep shouting at him)

ladyhelen2 · 07/10/2009 14:13

Does she have another comfort toy? If not, you could replace the dummies with a teddy or something?

My pals DD did the 4/5 dummies in bed too, but the Dummy Fairy took them and there were no problems.

Maybe leave it to Christmas and give yourself and her time to prepare?

I think you'll be surprised how well they adjust. I was dreading it but t'was all fine!

FlightAttendant · 07/10/2009 14:13

sjcmum, ds does that too but particularly when he is very very stressed.

I think from what you say she needs them

why do you want to stop it btw - out of interest?

notnowbernard · 07/10/2009 14:15

I just got very fed up of being woken up a lot through the night and being 'called on' to retrieve it

Mine both also got horribly red, rash-y mouths and chins where they dribbled a lot in the night and the dummy sort of chapped it

sugardumpling · 07/10/2009 14:20

My DS who's now 10 used to be a dummy fiend! he would have one in his mouth, stroke he's ear with one and take about 4 to bed with him . We tried everything with him, including the santa thing but nothing worked. When he started at nursery he would walk to school with one and then give me it before he went in.
I tried the route of "dummies are for babies" ect but he didn't care. Then on his first trip to the dentist,(when he was 3) the dentist told DS if he carried on having dummies his teeth would stick out. A couple of weeks later DS just handed me his dummies and never had them again, not even for bed, I still don't know if it was down to what the dentist said or if he just got bored and decided he'd outgrown them .
Theres also a childrens book called The Last Noo Noo by Jill Murphy that DS used to love and found hilarious, Its about a monster who dosn't want to give up his dummy

JugularPiggy · 07/10/2009 14:21

I think DD was about 2.5. it was after her first visit to the dentist who remarked that her front teeth were being affected by use of the dummy.

We decided there and then the dummies were going. She also had several in bed and held one in each hand and had one in her mouth. We had spoken to her previously about being a big girl and that dummies were for little children so she was aware it was coming!

We braced ourselves for a rough time but I think because we talked to her about it and stuck to our decision it was'nt as traumatic as i anticipated. Surprisingly she did'nt even pinch any off the other kids at nursery which i was dreading!!

Given that you have a younger child using them I think going cold turkey may be difficult so perhaps just keep talking to her about it and help her towards making the decision and as others have said the build up to xmas would be an ideal time.

Original poster

sjcmum · 08/10/2009 13:45

Thanks for the ideas. Butterball - very interesting point - I would never take a teddy or blanket off her - so why should I take the dummy? Partly peer pressure I guess - she's just about the only kid I know her age who has one... also the dental thing - although if she started sucking her thumb or something instead, that would I have thought be more of a problem. The only thing that does annoy me is when she doesn't take it out to talk... but I'm trying to encourage her not too.

I think a gradual reduction might be the way forward and might try to suggest Christmas to her.... ages ago she chose a lovely cuddly tiger that she is allowed when she gives up her dummies, but it is still in a bag on a high shelf... might have to remind her of it.

Thanks again!

OP posts:

Kelix · 08/10/2009 14:12

My DD is 21 months and only has a dummy at night. From about 3 days old up until around 1 she had it in all the time but after watching her drop it on the floor outside then stick it straight back in muck and all I decided no more dummy during the day.

It went surprisingly well, I just threw out all the dummys except 2 and resisted the urge to take them out with me. Car journeys were the worst in the beginning but she happily falls asleep in the car without it now the next task is bed time - not looking forward to that one. May wait til next year and try the Santa thing

Clare123 · 08/10/2009 15:02

I got rid of it at 14 months. I am not that keen on them, so just gradually stopped.

skinsl · 08/10/2009 16:03

My DS is nearly 2 and i want to lose the dummy. He has started to to do this half in/half out thing which leaves a big mark on his mouth. I think the Father Christmas idea is great but do you think he is too young to understand it? I think he would forget about it quite quickly but not sure I could deal with the tantrums right now!!

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