Cutlery use. What age should they be able to do it properly?

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

I know this is a silly question, but dd is driving us mental with her inability/dislike of eating with knife and fork. she has a very poor appetite anyway and anything she eats is a bonus..She is quite small (petite) for her age -8.5, we have got her all sorts of different knives, forks and spoon sets. She seems only able to use a spoon comfortably and prefers to pick things up with her hands and eat them. I really object to the 'American' way of eating where you only use a fork. DH is much more relaxed about it though and I think she enjoys the chaos she causes. So, what age should I expect her to be able to manipulate knife and fork? I wouldn't mind if she used the fork like a scoop TBH.

35

DS still isn't exactly tidy with them and he's 11 - but he has always struggled with pencil grip, buttons etc (mild though not officially diagnosed dyspraxia). He was born in Japan so was expected to use chopsticks from the age of 2 at nursery, but he's only just got the hang of them now...

If your DD doesn't have any other motor-skills issues, I would guess the route to better cutlery skills would be peer pressure. Does she have school dinners? Or ever eat out (with friends) at the kind of restaurant where you have to use cutlery? Seeing other kids doing it properly might spur her on to try harder. Grandparents are good at applying pressure on this, but it can backfire...

Good point yo made there exex, she spent four years in Thailand so ate with either a spoon and fork or chopsticks. She doesn't have any obvious motor skills problems so maybe she just does it to wind us up. she has school dinners once a week during the winter, but I've seen lunch time at her school it is like Whipsnade.