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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Any bad dummy weaning experiences?

19 replies

ladykay · 29/09/2009 22:39

I am keen to wean my 2.2 ds off his dummy. He is getting more dependant on it at this age than a while ago (no stresses, it's just 'his thing') and mainly he dribbles a waterfall when it is in. It's not a cool look at his age. Plus my heart sinks when he asks for it which doesn't feel good. Can it really just take a couple of days (ie a weekend)? My main concern is that his speech isn't that great - while I love this dummy fairy/present idea, I don't think he will get it. Has anyone found ditching it (I would choose to do it quickly but explain as much as I can) to be a bad move?? I know it's not a massive deal, but I'm feeling it's time and grappling for advice!

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notnowbernard · 29/09/2009 22:41

Mine had it for sleeping/poorly/in the car only from about 1ish

Ditched the dummy at just 3 with both

Cold turkey only way IMO

DD1 was awful on night 1 but better thereafter

DD2 gave it some for about a week but was fine after that

penona · 29/09/2009 22:44

I can't offer any advice, but have 2.3yo DTs who both use dummies for sleep, and sometimes in the day when I need them to calm down (eg if a tantrum is brewing). I don't like to see them using them, my DH hates them, but they work. I also hate it when they ask for it specifically - when tired or grumpy usually.
It hasn't impacted either of their speech and language, they are both quite advanced for their age (so I am told!!, just behind in lots of other things ) which surprised me.

I would also like to give them up if I thought it was going to be quite easy. With potty training/starting at pre-school/moving to beds to contend with in the next few months, don't need another headache!!!

Lets see what the MN gurus have to offer us...

PandaEis · 29/09/2009 22:51

i am planning to broach this subject with my DD very soon!! she is 3.9 now though i am a wimp as i hate to see her upset and she uses hers just when she is going asleep (and when her yapping starts to grate) i am trying to limit her as much as possible but shes sneaky i found 3 hidden under her pillow this morning!! bugger knows where she found them
i am planning to get her to assist me in 'sending them' to father xmas with he letter so the post man may have a nice surprise one morning soon
xx ei xx

vacaloca · 29/09/2009 22:52

I was really dreading getting rid of the dummy with both of mine, but we took the plunge just after they turned 2. We made it coincide with a weekend away somewhere or a holiday and once we were back home we explained we'd left the dummy behind. They really were completely fine. We were amazed. They seemed to understand that there was nothing we could do and that was that. One cried a little bit at bedtime for 2 nights and the other one (who I thought was more addicted to it) almost didn't even complain. We also only used it in bed and occassionaly if they weren't feeling well.

Original poster

ladykay · 29/09/2009 22:56

Yes I think that's how I'm feeling too penona. I think I'm going to be much more defined about having it at bedtime/when genuinely upset and gear up for some excellent advice...

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Original poster

ladykay · 29/09/2009 23:05

Thanks vacaloca, that sounds very positive

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nevergoogledragonbutter · 29/09/2009 23:10

I bumped into some fairies one evening who said they needed DS1's dummy for a little baby and seeing as he was a big boy now, they swapped it for a skateboard.

He was about 2.5 and it worked a treat.

He still asks sometimes about the fairies who left him the skateboard when he became a big boy.

Karam · 29/09/2009 23:54

With both of mine, they chose to ditch the dummy after lots of subtle manipulation by me . For example, DD2 was desperate to start pre school, so we used to say lots of things like "when you're a big girl and not having a dummy any more you'll be able to..." and various other things along the lines of big girls do not have dummies, when she gave up the dummy, she would become a big girl and so on...

Then one day she just decided she was now a big girl and didn't want it at bedtime. So I threw them all away, that night. She asked once more, and I just asked her whether she didn't want to be a big girl any more... and that was it she was convinced.

Prior to that, she was a real dummy addict. I think the key thing is to find the thing that they want more than the dummy. In my DD2's case, it was being a big girl. With DD1, she got an ulcer and it hurt her mouth, so we manipulated that situation [evil cow emoticon].

nevergoogledragonbutter · 30/09/2009 00:05

karam's right.

DS1 really wanted a skateboard and we talked for a while about how dummies were for babies and skateboards were for big boys and he couldn't have both.

Geocentric · 30/09/2009 01:16

We took each DC to the supermarket (after lots of not-so-subtle brainwashing) and let them exchange their dummy for a toy. Both were somewhere around 2.5yrs (DD maybe 2.2???). DS was pretty easy - we missed it more than he did. But DD was a nightmare for about a week, howled non-stop at bedtime, DH had to physically stop me from driving to the 24hr pharmacy to get another!!!!!

But I agree - cold turkey works, even if you have to literally grin and bear it!

penona · 30/09/2009 14:41

Thanks for tips (even though am not the OP). I have asked DD about being a big girl (re the potty mostly) but she says she likes being a little baby so going to have to work on that a little more!!

Original poster

ladykay · 30/09/2009 21:24

Hmm this all sounds like good stuff. I might have to find a library book about fairies or some other exchange-and-barter nymph as we are not at full conversation yet but have leaps in understanding key words and ideas each week. I wonder if it would be too mean to introduce the concept of fairies tomorrow and then have the thing make off with his dummies two days later?? Perhaps I should work on this a bit more slowly!

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Original poster

ladykay · 30/09/2009 21:30

I think getting a toy as compensation is the ideal way to go too - anything 'Night Garden' is going to be a winner, but I'm not sure he will get the idea of the exchange, or that it is supposed to be forever. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised so long as I build up to it a bit carefully.

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Geocentric · 30/09/2009 21:41

ladykay, what I did was have a quick word with the cashier at the supermarket (both times, I was lucky with nice understanding people) and then DS (and when time came, DD) handed over his dummy to the cashier as "payment" (with DH paying on the sly afterwards). That way the "handing over" process was very real, and easy to understand later (didn't stop either of them asking for it later, but allowed us to say "remember we gave it to the nice lady").

No fairies involved, just lots of brainwashing: "shall we change your old dumy for a nice new toy, dear?"

Original poster

ladykay · 30/09/2009 21:52

Thanks Geo, yes, I know a nice little toy shop where I could do that. I might work on the concept of exchanging first. Was there any moment of horror at what they'd agreed to when it came to no dummy at bedtime or had you prepared them for that?

OP posts:

Geocentric · 30/09/2009 21:59

Oh yes, moment of horror! But even at that age they understood what had happened (DD offered to take her toy back for a "refund"). But we stuck to it and although it seemed like it took forever, it only took a few days for tem to stop asking about it.

Original poster

ladykay · 30/09/2009 22:07

Great, thanks, I can see the end in sight!

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Geocentric · 30/09/2009 22:11

Good luck!

stoofadoof · 01/10/2009 10:17

our DD (currently 2.11) is planning on leaving hers out at christmas for Santa to take for the reindeers cos 'they'll be very tired' ?!?! am going with that at the mo, and will go cold turkey christmas eve!?! who knows if it will work tho! she too only gets one at bedtime, or if poorly...

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