Ds2, his God complex and his subsequent eating habits.

[colditz]

Ds2 is 3.5 - I am led to believe it is relatively normal for children this age to appear to be suffering terribly in the grips of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

According to Ds2, he is NOT small, or little, or cute, his hair is NOT curly - indeed, he is "YUGE" and "GIANT" and "Nenormous!".

He is also the fastest runner, and the strongest lifter, and other things he endearingly perceives to mean he is a boy.

But then we his the minefield that is food.

He has an extremely active and quite tall older brother. They do EVERYTHING together except go to school. Ds1 needs a small adult's size dinner. He DOES need it, he's not being greedy, he's not remotely overweight, he just uses a lot of energy.

Ds2 does not need this adult sized dinner. The amount ds2 should and does actually happily eat would fit onto a saucer. He's short, and pleasingly rounded.

But he objects vociferously to being served a smaller meal. He will not accept that he is smaller than his brother, I have measured them both and shown him, but it does not support the idea that he is the "nornousest boy inna world!" therefore this information is rejected without a glance.

I cannot bear to keep serving mssive portions that I know he won't eat, I have tried giving both boys smaller dinners - cue ds1 practically drinking his then eating 3 or 4 sandwiches.

What do I do?

I don't really want to pop Ds2's bubble, but neither can I starve his older brother in order to support this fantasy of being 4 foot taller than he actually is.

He's really quite a greedy little boy!

if given a bigger pertion, does he eat it? or does he eat his usual amount and leave the rest?

is there anyhting he will eat that is not too faffy to prepare that eh can have to make up for difference in sizing? ie he eats his normal portion, then while his brother is still finishing off his adult portion ds2 can have some carrot sticks and hummous?

I have similar problems with my 2. dd1 is huge, and eats more than me.

dd2 is tiny (in all but personality ) and insists on having the same as her sister, despite not being able to physically eat that much.

so dd1 will have her meal, then fruit (usually 3 types) then some raisins and maybe still somehting to fil her up.

dd2 insists on all the same "courses" and leaves half of it.

grrrr.

I go with it for now as don't want to upset eithe of them (dd1 has SN and has had a few eating issues, so don't want stress at the table). dd2 eats a surprising range of things for a toddler, so don't want to put her off.

I use the carrot/hummous trick with dd2 as she lives for hummous. so dd1 (who doesn't like it) gets more pasta or whatever, dd2 gets a couple of carrot sticks and a big spoonful of hummous. it works for now.

Can you give them both the same to start with then seconds if still hungry or will ds2 want seconds just for the sake of it? I have no idea really, but is has made me giggle and I am rather grateful that ds insists that he is "quite small" Mind you I think I could do with him eating more, he gets out eaten by his baby sister

No, I tried the seconds thing - he insist on having seconds too, even if not much has been eaten. And he won't eat anything his brother isn't eating.

I could just grow a pair and tell him no, I suppose

I know this is no help at all but that has really given me a terrific smile Colditz - and that's after spending an hour putting ds (2.5) to bed: "stay HERE, mama! Mama, sound coming from? Mama, dd awake? GCSE lie on Mama's lap, Mama? No Mama! No go!" so by rights your problems should be scaring the crap out of me.

Let me know if you have any luck with growing a pair, clearly I could use some myself

Would he fall for a smaller plate? It would look like he had loads while only having the same amount as usual?

No, the smaller plate itself would become an issue.

what if they served themselves from shared bowls? And had to eat everything they took...

Perhaps the book "siblings without rivalry" might help as it sounds like a major competition/comparison thing is going on inside his head which has focused on his brother.

I know a young girl who tries to do everything her older brother does and of course can't do them as well and has major melt downs...it sounds like a similar thing here where he is determined to show he is equal or as good.

It may pass once he realises everyone is different but children can insist on the most unlikely things. DD went through a phase of declaring she could fly despite all empirical evidence to the contrary.