Nearly three years old: not sleeping through night / does not want to sit on toilet / potty????

[virtualrealityfreak]

Hello,

Can anyone help me please? I have a dd who is nearly three years old. She is currently not always sleeping through the night for a variety of reasons: these range from being scared of the dark / noises, her bottle teat sometimes being stuck upside down in her bottle, just needing a cuddle, pillow not in place etc. I am exhausted! She has not been a good sleeper since birth and it has continued despite attempts at controlled crying, reassurance, cuddles (you name it!) Please if anyone can give me any ideas about what might work I would be grateful?

Also, my baby does not want to sit on the toilet / potty at all! At Kindergarten she will sit on the toilet but not at home. Despite proving on two or three occasions over the last year that she knows how to use a toilet she flatly refuses to sit on anything at home let alone do anything. She did something at Kindergarten once and then stopped again. I have tried reassurance, 'special potty', 'mummy and daddy can do this too!' , removing nappies and using pants, chocolate etc. It just does not seem to bother her that she has stuff in her nappy! Again any hints or advice would be appreciated as I am getting concerned that maybe she won't ever want to do it.

My child is otherwise generally a reasonably sociable, good natured little girl who enjoys doing what children of her age enjoy!

Should I be worried? Has she got some insecurity issues that need to be addressed and if so how? I am concerned as I am in no way an expert on children's behaviour!

Thank you for your time.

Hello

Right first of all, take a deep breath. You sound really worried and actually these things are all normal. My three year old is not really interested in toilet training - there is no harm in leaving it a few more months before trying. Most kids will train themselves left long enough or instigate training themselves/demand help when they get a bit older.

As for sleeping - sounds like she has found a remarkably effective way of getting attention in the evening. I'm not sure why she still has a bottle at night but let's not go there for now , try being as boring as possible. Return her to bed every time she wakes up with a quick cuddle and just pop her back in. Then leave. Go back if she starts up again but don't speak, just cuddle and back into bed.

But all the random things you've tried may well have confused her so do the same things every single night - bedtime routine, bath, milk, teeth, story, bed. Get a nightlight if you have to. I had to sew a massive Hahoo for DD and told her it chased bad dreams away - which seems to have worked!

I wouldn't worry if I were you, sounds like your common or garden three year old girl!

Ok, speaking from experience, take away any drink she has in bed.
As for the potty - have you tried a reward chart?

Ok. Thank you for your feedback.

She has a bottle before she goes to bed which seems to sooth her.

No form of reward charts, chocolate etc works on this child unless she is in the mood to play with stickers etc. Then she will want the stickers to put on paper and create a picture (without help from me as she is very independent).

We do the food, bath, bed thing at the roughly the same time at night. She gets up so we put her back again each time. After the first time we put her in the top bunk (she is scared to go down the ladder) so that she won't come back again.

We sit with the news (which she generally does not like during the day) on so that when she comes after being put down she will get bored. No, she then began to like the news and point and ask questions. So I know she is stalling then. Again bed or top bunk if refusing to go back and stay there.

During the night when she wakes up I never 'assume' that she is just ok. She is a kid with a vivid imagination and has bad dreams sometimes. She gets scared of dinosaurs in bed. So I am careful with her just in case during the night she might have a bad dream! I know what it is like to be left in a dark room as a child with a fear of monsters under the bed/ behind the door etc. She has a night light but does not always want it!

The potty thing! Thanks. You have reassured me. I was beginning to think that I was the only one who's kid was not interested in sitting on a toilet. I like the idea of the Hahoo. Wonder if that works with Sponge Bob!

One thing I know about child. She will not be hurried or moved before she is ready. She always says to me when I try to move her 'wait mummy' with a very firm hand held up! It takes some effort (my voice projection and ability to run fast have improved since having dd)to move her then but we get there in the end.

Anyway, thanks for listening. It really helps to know that you are not going completely mad!