DH teaching DS to play-fight: am I overreacting?

[vannah]

I was horrified to turn around this morning to find DH crumpled on the floor, a wounded 'Robbie Rotten' whilst Sporticas (DS aged nearly 4) was kicking him in the back!

I know that they play act this game thanks to the sporticas costume ds lives in, either that or spiderman - and then my husband has to be Lizardman losing a fight. Yes there is some normal gentle rough and tumble which i always thought was sweet, as DS mostly gets excited about casting a net over the 'baddie' or climbing on him.

But kicking his dad, and dad not responding is not ok for me. I told him to tell our son this is not ok and he just sat there silently. After more prodding he reluctantly said 'no real kicking, just pretend to kick but dont let your foot touch'

I think this is terrible. Anyone agree? He says he will inevitably learn to copy action heros at some point anyway...sigh

thankyou

honestly? I'd bite your lip and walk away while they're playing rough like that. just have a quiet word with dh so he makes sure ds knows he can't play fight like that with other kids and yes - probably better not to do 'real' kicks. sounds like you should be signing them up for family karate - they'd have a whale of a time

No, there can't be real kicking without obvious consequences. It's not going to hurt your DH but you can't necessarily expect your DS to understand that it would be different with another 4 year old. I have no issue with play fighting, but real actions/hitting/kicking are not on.

i think it's excellent that your son'sdad is teaching him how to get suspended from school in his first year playfight.

hmm. thankyou all...Im afraid its exactly what colditz wrote that Im worried about. Having been a teacher (primary), Ive seen and had to deal with some horrible accidents caused by children who were imitating wrestlers when wrestling was the big thing about a decade ago.

I think there's a difference between the rough and tumble that many dads do, and many boys adore, and watching wrestlers etc

I hate rough and tumble, I just can't cope with it at all but I have accepted that now and again DH and DS do this. DS has adored it from the moment he started doing it, he seeks it out, he wants to do it, he seems to need it in some way.

It doesn't link to any kind of 'real' behaviour in my experience - DS is the most gentle soul alive, extremely sensitive, thoughtful etc and polite and mannerly and has always had glowing school reports which mention his impeccable behaviour etc

I really think it's exposure to crap wrestling programmes, violent films, and playing shoot-em-up computer games that will have more effect, and those things don't have to be part of a child's life.

I seem to be in a minority here, but I think it is OK. There is a world of difference between expending agression in a controlled game and battering other children.

I watched ds (6) and some of his friends today. They spent about an hour fighting with each other. No one got really hurt. One of the dads made them take their shoes off so kicking would not result in injury. I have to say I was not entirely comfortable but the boys loved it and they do understand the difference between a game and lashing out in anger.

I hate it too. Dh does it all the time and Ds's love it. Have to bite my lip. Not very good at biting lip though.

I was reading a good article recently about how its a positive thing for children (must find it)

one of the key things that stood out was that that children see the person being restrained in their behaviour, in this case your dh, and it helps them learn what is appropriate when.

Rough and tumble is different to teaching how to kick someone.

You are not overreacting imo.

The golden rule here is "you only do it to daddy. Daddy can take it, you try it with another kid in the playground, you'll hurt them and believe me, all hell will let loose. If Daddy is stupid enough to let you batter him up, then you go for it son."