6 year old son constantly wetting and now poo-ing himself - help!

[janiekernow]

Hi am new to all this so sorry if bit long winded!
My son wets himself, he is on drugs to help and see's an incontinence nurse about it. The drugs help but don't stop the wets, I think he is just too busy to remember he needs a wee and when he does he can't hold it in. We can go through several pants/trousers a day. School are great and help lots, he gets prompted lots to go and seems better only one or two wets a day. Recently he has had a few incidents of not getting to the loo in time when he needs a poo though. For the last two weeks he has actually not bothered going at all and just poo's himself and then when we smell it goes to the loo and then shower -aargh! Seems happy enough and likes school. Diet is good and mixed, I can't work out why he is now poo-ing himself. He hasn't done this since he was under two! Really getting to the end of my tether, wetting was bad enough but this is worse, so many pants/trousers going in the bin!!! Help please....

Hello
No ideas on the wetting but if the soiling himself is new, could he be constipated? How often does he do a poo? If less than every day it may be that he has got into the habit of holding them in and not listening to his body then all of a sudden the urge gets too strong.

I've just remembered the correct term for the problem I was describing: chronic constipation. There are a few threads on this on here, and lots of info if you google it.

Also search encopresis and soiling.

Speak to the incontinence nurse about this too if you already have access to one.

She should be an expert on this

hi, thanks for replies. I did wonder if he may be constipated too. Think will try to get hold of his incontinence nurse again and see what advice she gives.

You have my utmost sympathy my ds age 7 half came home from school smelling of poo, I thought we had cracked it over the hols ahhhh we had a year or so of the continance nurse who gave us great strategies to help.

The wetting improved to a dribble last year and now seems to be much better just a bit occasionally but I have to say the other day I really told him off which I haven't done before, I was more embarrassed for him really as he has gone into juniors and I don't expect they will be as tollerant.

I'm going back to the old routine of drinking lots as the bladder needs to be stretched to full capacity to be able to hold on more, and also doing 'rock and pop' which is sitting on the toilet in the morning before school making sure you have time.You teach the child to sit, lean forward gently rubbing the tummy to try to go to the toilet, I find it important to be aware of the pooing routine and try to make sure it happens before school.

But so important to drink plenty of water, not coloured squash or apple juice, and a good diet but not too much brown bread or roughage, better with white bread and pasta.
good luck

We also bought a special reminder watch which you can set to buzz up to 6 times a day at school we set it hourly and he had to go for a wee even if he didn't need to.It buzzes discretely on the wrist, it was recommended by the continence nurse, can't remember the website but it was £20 and it did help.

constipation can also lead to wetting

I have not experience of this but do have plenty of pooh experience (sorry not being flippant). I like Danthe4th idea of sitting on the loo and rubbing tummy. I get DS to do this when he tells me he needs a pooh but has a sore tummy. In extreme cases, I find that a (very warm) hot water bottle helps too.

I have a really useful PDF of a story/ work book that you can go through with your child. It's often used by psychologists when treating encopresis and wetting.

Please don't ever tell your son off for doing this - it really does sound like he could be constipated which could lead to something called 'overflow incontinence' whereby the walls of the bowel become thicker due to being constipated, and so less sensitive to the sensation of being full, eventually some poo does leak out hence the 'overflow' label. If your son has this he won't be sensing the need to go, and won't be aware when he has a leak. Some children are treated with an enema to clear the bowel and then lots of retraining and plenty of fibrous foods to keep everything regular.

Also, make the toilet a fun place to be, somewhere he can sit for around 20 minutes in the morning before school, and relax, maybe play on a DS or read a book etc... it can take this long for a constipated child to get a poo out. Lots of rewards and cuddles for trying, and not for pooing or not pooing.

Not sure how to get the PDF to you, unless you private message me with your email address?

I had a thread about something similar recently. Someone suggested the constipation thing so though they have a balanced diet and the others who eat the same are fine we decided to cut out certain things including all fruit juice and it does seem to have helped. Also other things like the time to poo such as covered suggested.

Good luck it can be so demoralising dealing with poo all the time

Food intolerances such as dairy intolerance can also cause constipation, but your incontinence nurse should be able to decide whether this is relevant or not.

This is my first post. I've spent the last year or so reading posts around the poo issue, praying that things would improve with my DS2, but turns out that the optimism has run out and I'm feeling v unhappy.

DS2 is 4 (nearly 5) and just started school. Poos have always been an issue, and have been working on making sure that he is not remotely constipated (so v good diet, daily actimel - as recommended by HV), so there isn't the issue that it is a leak. Also done reading poo stories etc, reward charts, etc. Doesn't help that he isn't remotely motivated by either punishment or rewards.

His first 1.5 weeks at school went well, then since then he has soiled himself at school every day. School are being ok about it so far, but it is mortifying, and I'm at a point where I just don't know what to do to help him. He just doesn't care. I don't get cross with him, but it is beginning to affect my feelings for him (he is a gorgeous boy though). Also worry that he might get teased - though this might get through to him, painful as though it may be.

Given that charts, rewards etc haven't worked, I'm now considering not giving him his bedtime story on days where he does soil himself. Is this wrong?

Also is it worth seeing the doctor and asking for a referral to someone - though who I don't know!