What age do they stop referring to themselves by name?

[RoxanneMur]

I have boy/girl twins who are 2 1/2 and still do not use "I" appropriately. One of the developmental checklists says they should have proper use of pronouns by age 2???!!!

The will say things like, "Holly do it", "Ashton waked up", etc.

They do say things like "Mine" and "I hungry" "I'm thirsty" but then will revert back to "Holly want a drink".

I think we do overuse their names and probably don't speak to them in a completely appropriate way. We will say, "Is Holly hungry?" "Does Ashton want a drink?", etc. I think with having two standing there in front of you it is easier to use their name so they know you are talking to them but it is not helping things when we should be saying, "Do you want a drink?"

What age did your children stop referring to themselves by name? Is this still age appropriate for two and a half?

Thanks for your responses.

My ds is 2 and 4 months and still mostly refers to himself by his name. Sometimes he'll say "I do it/I go on bike etc" but I don't even know if I've ever heard him say "me". I don't think he says "you" either - it's always "Mummy do it" (about most things )

Not heard that about correct pronouns by 2 - seems a bit unrealistic ime - I know several 2 or nearly-2 year olds who don't even put two words together yet let alone master pronouns! What checklist is it?

How about saying to them ''do you want a drink, Holly?'' ''Do you want a banana, Ashton?''.

This will model the use of pronouns to them and still use their names so they will know who you are talking to.

You can use toys to model 'I'. e.g. have a tea party and you play the part of teddy/dolly. Teddy says ''please can I have a drink, Holly'', etc.

Or play an action game where you announce what you are going to do e.g. ''I amd going to jump'' ''I am going to run'' ''I am going to drive a car''.

Then ask ''what are you going to do Holly?''......

Glad you asked this, never really thought of it as being an issue but just realised DS does this. He will say "I do it", but if you show him a photo of himself and ask who it is, he'll respond with his name. Or if you ask "whose is that?", the same. As Fatti mentioned, I am "Mummy", never "you". Will think about using pronouns more round him!

It'll click. DD (2yrs 4 months) was still struggling with 'me' and 'you' a couple of months ago but one day she woke up and never got it wrong again. DD was probably just over 2 when she stopped referring to herself by name although she still does it on occasion.

yy modelling
I say 'Hildegard, would you like a drink?'

NB pronouns include (eg) it, that, he, she etc, not just 'me' and 'you'

It's so complex for them isn't it? Especially as we use their names so much. DD has just stopped saying 'mama, daddy and me' and says 'us' or 'we' instead. Sounds simple, but it's a big leap really. Not surprised it's confusing.

I think my DD mastered it sometime around 2, but I know other children who are 3 and still use their name in that way. I do think it can be linked to what parents do, as the children I know who still refer to themselves by their name, have parents who do the same (e.g. 'Holly want some milk?' rather than 'would you like some milk Holly?'). However, I would guess that they'll pick it up eventually regardless, and I can certainly see how it can be complex with twins!

My DD is 2.5 and only stopped referring to herself in the third person about a month ago.

Up until then it was like living with Craig David.

Thank you so much for you responses.

I will definitely take all of your advice on board and start modelling the use of pronouns more as I am pretty sure we are not doing it as well as we could be.

They are all so different, aren't they??!!

Thanks again!

It will just click ...and then you'll miss it

My dd (2.1) now always says "my do it" or "my" want a drink" ...soooo cute

My dd2 used to say 'wilt' instead of 'wont' as in,
me - "don't run in the house M"
M - "I wilt mummy"
I cried the first time she ever said "won't"

OTOH I work with a woman who insists on referring to herself in the 3rd person. Drives me nuts!

My DD says 'any' instead of 'none'. I think it comes from me saying 'there isn't any'. So for example if she is doing nothing and I ask her what she is doing, she says 'anything'. If she has no toys, and I ask her how many she has, she says 'any'!!! I've just been gently correcting her, but not making a big fuss (esp. as I find it quite cute !).

rofl at marthafarquhar....ds is 2.4 and doesn't say use his name so much anymore but does say "you want a drink" when he means himself and "I give it you" when he means me. in otherwords "i" is only for mummy and "you" only ever means him. we have tried explaining that he can use "i" for himself but are struggling to get the idea across. am hoping, like everything else we stressed about needlessly over the last two years, he'll eventually just work it out for himself.