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Original poster

If i describe this child, will you tell me what you think please.

90 replies

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 19:57

Age 6
incapable of sitting down for any more than 30 seconds
never sat through an entire DVD or film at cinema
never ever shuts up, question after question after question.
incapable of concentrating for more than 20 seconds
didnt sleep through the night til he was 4, now is up every morning by 7am
literally bounces around a room
is incapable of walking in a straight line, has to hop, skip, jump, climb, roll, run form one place to another
Is forever fiddling, messing around with stuff, cannot leave stuff alone.
will pick off wallpaper if there is a tiny bit there, if at the table at mealtimes has to mess around with knife and fork, tapping, banging scraping it.
makes noise no matter what he is doing, as loudly as he can.
hands/legs always on the move, fiddling and moving stuff.

now tell me truly, is this normal 6 year old behaviour?

OP posts:
Original poster
sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:44

handwriting poor, but we have practiced lots over summer and it is improving.
i would not describe him as clumsy, he is quite precise in fact.

loves sports, hand/ eye is and has always been very very good.

cargirl, im gonna make enquiries, THANKYOU so much for your advice x

OP posts:
MarmMummy · 05/09/2009 22:45

Also, its incredibly hard to diagnose anything much before the age of 6 because the range of normal development is so wide. Evden if he does have 'something' it sounds relatively mild and there is very little that would have been done differently.

Whoever said bored and bright is also probably onto something in my opinion too.

OP - don't feel bad. Feel fab for knowing your child better than anyone else. If school has no suspicions then I guess these are coming from you, in which case the only real way to be sure is to consult an educational psychologist.

Overmydeadbody · 05/09/2009 22:46

Do not feel guilty or that you have neglected his needs.

As a parent with a 'not-normal' 6yr old DS, I'd say your DS doesn't sound normal to me.

But that doesn't necessarily mean you have failed or anthing. Definately talk to your GP and arrange a meeting with the school SENCO.

Look up dyspraxia, it's not scary.

Original poster
sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:47

he hates school, has no real firm friends

OP posts:
CarGirl · 05/09/2009 22:48

The same dd had silent reflex as a baby I knew there was something wrong she was my 3rd they kept telling me a touch of colick etc etc they wore me down until I didn't believe in myself. Try not to listen to the school, they are not experts, they do not know everything trust your instinct because you are the one with them the most, see them in lots of situations etc etc etc

morocco · 05/09/2009 22:48

i think my brother was dyspraxic. he certainly is dyslexic - which often 'goes' with it. have also wondered about ds2 - he is clumsy as anything. but as I said, ds2 is doing fine at school so far and we're happy with his behaviour at home so I see no need to intervene. it sounds like this is not the case for you. no harm going to gp if worried. I still think school sound crap though

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 22:50

His teacher/school sounds awful which is really adding to the problems.

Overmydeadbody · 05/09/2009 22:50

sunburnt I bet you already do understand your DS and provide for him, instinctively.

You know him, you have done from birth, so don't feel you are doing anything wrong or that you need a label in order to help him.

The biggest concern here is making sure his needs are provided for in school and he doesn't end up bored and frustrated or missing out on leaning opportunities because they are not made accesible to him.

Has he really never sat trough a whole dvd?

morocco · 05/09/2009 22:51

wouldn't pay any attention to a school's opinion - I know they've got better but they all refused to test my siblings for dyslexia - both are - and missed my brothers aspergers - some schools don't want to know - esp imo the 'good' ones

Original poster
sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:52

looked up dyspraxia and he defo does not have that defo.
was waliking at 11 months, stabilisers came off bike at 4,
very precise, not clumsy at all.
he just have fidgety from that list

OP posts:
hmc · 05/09/2009 22:55

Lol, not many people agreeing with your perspective about it being normal and typical IdontMN (sorry if I confused your name - its just that I've never heard of you before)

Original poster
sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:55

never. within 10- 20 mins he is off,

he is very hands on, practical, fantastic with a screw driver, lego, taking stuff to bits and re asembling again.

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 05/09/2009 22:56

Sorry Idon'tget, but it really does not sound like completely normal boy behaviour. Are you really saying that your DS and your brothers' DS etc etc have never sat through an entire dvd of cinema trip or are incapable of sitting for more than 30 seconds and is forever fiddling?

Yes, all children display that kind of behaviour sometimes, but the OP is talking about all the time, relentlesly, to the point that it is interfering with his normal day! That is not just normal boy behaviour and the OP is right to try to get support and help to make his life easier.

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 22:57

sunburntats I'm exhausted just thinking about what you cope with everyday!

BTW reflex = reflux in my previous post

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 05/09/2009 23:00

Oh no. You've never heard of me before. What shall I do? There are only about 20,000 registered members, I'm sure you are personally acquianted with all the rest. So sorry I'm not on your MN radar.

Normal and typical aren't the same thing. It might not be typical, but that doesn't make it abnormal behaviour either. But actually, I can't really be arsed to engage with you, because you are incredibly condescending, and yet don't bother to actually read people's posts properly before sounding off about them.

MarmMummy · 05/09/2009 23:00

OK. So if not dyspraxic, and teachers seem to think not ADHD, then either there IS nothing wrong, or its not as straightforward as meets the eye ( and children rarely fit any description neatly).

If you are not after a label or a diagnosis, then an ed psych is not worth it. But if you have nagging doubts sbout your son, so much better to address them now than wait and regret it later.

I would challenge the school though. They need to be trying to tackle his behaviour and help him. Ask them what you can do to help him achieve his potential.

BTW, if you do decide to go down the educational psychologist route bear in mind that:
a. They are v. expensive (about £800 for a 2 hour session and report in London)
b. They will rely fairly heavily on yours and the schools observations so if you are not 100% confident with the school's approach that might be a concern.
If you have medical insurance that can sometimes cover it.
Or you can ask your GP for a referral but you will have to be prepared for a very long wait and may well have to exaggerate the negatives in order to be considered 'bad enough' to be seem.

(Apologies for any wine induced typos! )

Original poster
sunburntats · 05/09/2009 23:01

i look forward to going to work for the rest tbh. isnt that awful

dh is fab, loves the bones of the kid and they do lots together. he is also a practical chap.

OP posts:
morocco · 05/09/2009 23:01

ds has never sat through a whole dvd I wouldn't think - not paid much attention tbh - but I'd be amazed if he had. he can sit through a film though but would like to ask lots (I mean lots) of questions throughout and maybe go to the loo for a bit of a break. he can't be the only one!

morocco · 05/09/2009 23:03

is he your only child? I think I'd notice ds's behaviour a lot more and find it more wearing if he was an only - as it is, I'm so busy I barely notice what he's doing half the time

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 05/09/2009 23:05

No sunburn that isn't awful. I look forward to going to work too. If you dreaded going to work, that would be awful. Why shouldn't you enjoy doing something other than looking after your child?

Honestly, some children are hard work, some are quite tranquil. Most pan out just fine in the end. My concern is that there seem to be people on this thread on putting labels on a child they have never met, using terminology I doubt they are qualified to use. If you are worried, then that is good enough - seek assistance. Consider a different school. But never ask random posters on the internet about your child's behaviour in general terms, because their children are always better behaved.

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 05/09/2009 23:06

that should be "intent on" in the second line of second paragraph.

Original poster
sunburntats · 05/09/2009 23:06

thanks marm, that is really helpful,

what do you think of this plan:

give him 2 weeks at school to settle.
meet with teacher to discuss her observtions of him. get her to compare to a year ago when she taught him.

make appointment to see GP and ask for referral to ed psychologist.

ask teacher about school support...cant rememebr what they are called.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 05/09/2009 23:06

from what the school is saying he is either very defiant/difficult/uncooperative and is the product child of a complete lack of boundaries or he has ADHD tendencies but they don't want to say that as it will mean they have to invest time/money into giving him and IEP at the VERY least.

Does he have an Individual Educational Plan because he sounds like he should?

hmc · 05/09/2009 23:07

Oh but I have read the posts properly...just got the names confused (probably my age) - I read the OP's post very carefully...and yours. You said it "Sounds completely normal, energetic boy to me"

I'm just disagreeing - quite strongly granted - with that assertion.... as are most of the other posters on this thread (albeit not addressing you directly as I did)

Why is this condescending?

At least I haven't sworn at you...although I'll admit I said I didn't believe you (and then retracted that assertion as badly worded). I do think your own posting style is a bit questionable.

hmc · 05/09/2009 23:07

Oh but I have read the posts properly...just got the names confused (probably my age) - I read the OP's post very carefully...and yours. You said it "Sounds completely normal, energetic boy to me"

I'm just disagreeing - quite strongly granted - with that assertion.... as are most of the other posters on this thread (albeit not addressing you directly as I did)

Why is this condescending?

At least I haven't sworn at you...although I'll admit I said I didn't believe you (and then retracted that assertion as badly worded). I do think your own posting style is a bit questionable.