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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

If i describe this child, will you tell me what you think please.

90 replies

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 19:57

Age 6
incapable of sitting down for any more than 30 seconds
never sat through an entire DVD or film at cinema
never ever shuts up, question after question after question.
incapable of concentrating for more than 20 seconds
didnt sleep through the night til he was 4, now is up every morning by 7am
literally bounces around a room
is incapable of walking in a straight line, has to hop, skip, jump, climb, roll, run form one place to another
Is forever fiddling, messing around with stuff, cannot leave stuff alone.
will pick off wallpaper if there is a tiny bit there, if at the table at mealtimes has to mess around with knife and fork, tapping, banging scraping it.
makes noise no matter what he is doing, as loudly as he can.
hands/legs always on the move, fiddling and moving stuff.

now tell me truly, is this normal 6 year old behaviour?

OP posts:

morocco · 05/09/2009 21:57

I'm wondering if the problem is more the school/teacher than the child. ds2 sounds v similar apart from the sleep thing - he was an amazingly light sleeper til the age of about 2 then slept like a log. he doesn't go to sleep til about 9/9.30 and is up at 7 but seems fine with that. he's 5. he is doing fine at school much to my amazement but of course he was in the early years where it's ok to move around a lot. his teachers are great and really caring though which I think makes a difference. dh and I often say he seems borderline adhd but as it isn't affecting his schooling we're not bothered. he does eat his school clothes though - works out quite expensive having to replace chewed cuffs and collars - guess that is his 'fiddle stick' lol

what kind of school is it? some schools here are v overly academic/formal and imo more suited to 'good girls' than 'active boys' (to stereotype). not sure how ds would cope there.

so to reassure you - yes it does seem 'normal' to the extent that some kids are more hyper than others. but maybe you need to think some more about the school situation. how does your ds feel about school?

hmc · 05/09/2009 21:57

"Sounds completely normal, energetic boy to me"

Really? It doesn't to me. And I know quite a lot of small boys - including my own 5 year old.

Sounds hyper to me and poor OP must be run ragged

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 05/09/2009 22:00

Er, yes. Really. Sounds like my son, and my brothers as boys, and most little boys I know. I didn't say it wasn't tiring.

morocco · 05/09/2009 22:06

oh the other thing about ds2 is that he had undiagnosed glue ear which recurs every now and then. this makes him less attentive cos he can't actually hear the teacher but also made him generally more hyper and more talkative without listening to the response iyswim?

Original poster

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:17

dear God ds does that, he chews all of his clothes, drives me mad!

I am exhausted, it is constant and unrelenting. Did not get a full nights sleep til he was 4. did sleep diary for HV who i went to out of desperation. was up over 15 times every single night to him.

had awful shocking birth, was a walking corpse.

he is 6 and an only becasue up to the last 2 years, i could not even contemplate putting myself through it again. Turns out i cant have any more nay way.

i feel like i am constantly "at" him, no dont do that, no dont bang that, no stop that, no put that down, no dont throw that, sit down, stop messing, sit down i must say 50000 times a day.

distraction is my daily bread and butter for him.
I cant trust him in a room on his own. he is quite destructive.

i need help

OP posts:

hmc · 05/09/2009 22:18

What are you feeding these children? Scratches head non-plussed.

I don't believe you frankly

hmc · 05/09/2009 22:18

sunburntats - and you must seek help. For your own sake

hmc · 05/09/2009 22:20

(To clarify - previous post to IdontMN2 who seems to think off the scale behaviour is 'average' and typical)

Original poster

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:20

you think i am making it up?

OP posts:

Original poster

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:22

ahh ok.

but equally i could tell you his great points.

can i ask also, he dislikes any affection, you know, he doesnt ever want to sit with us, or cuddle and i have to ask him over and over for a goodnight kiss & cuddle. is this significant do you think?

OP posts:

hmc · 05/09/2009 22:26

No badly expressed, of course you are not making it up - but whilst your ds may well be a handful, is he really as challenging as the OP's? Did you fully read and reflect on her description

And if he is, I think you are mistaken that this is typical. I am not imputing that simply because my ds is not as per this description that he is 'everyman' and all boys are in his mould - not at all. Just that I have come across very few other boys like this - can think of two... (and I have lots of his peers around to play - I'm one of the more proactive mums on the play date circuit), I also have lots of friends who also have sons, and they have not confided anything approaching these difficulties - whilst we do share other parenting traumas

Sorry if I was curt

hmc · 05/09/2009 22:27

Shit - confused again. I thought IdontMN had replied to me then. Lol - I should go to bed. Am confusing my discussions.

TotalChaos · 05/09/2009 22:28

I have a 5 year old boy, and this doesn't sound normal to me, if all these behaviours regularly take place, rather than having odd moments of bouncing off the walls/fiddling. In particular I'ld be concerned by the low concentration span and difficulties at school. Agree with the posters who have suggested go down GP/paed route, and about using fiddle toys/special cushions.

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 22:28

sunburntats I really think a INPP or similar practioner could make a huge difference to his exhaustingness for that alone I'd go and spend the money. Dd went at 4 if I had known it would have stopped the nightly visits I'd have gone so much sooner - I found out about it all by accident. She would be awake and asking if it was morning yet 3/4 times a night most nights, that alone nearly drove me over the edge.

Where do you live, just in case it is anywhere near me?

hmc · 05/09/2009 22:29

So post of 22.26 was again to IdontMN, responding to a question that she had not actually put to me (I confused you, OP, with her momentarily).

(wanders off talking to herself and muttering in demented way)

MarmMummy · 05/09/2009 22:29

Have purposely not read thread yet.

He's dyspraxic.

Possibly ADHD, but wouldn't go there yet.

Original poster

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:33

hmc

hmm, its not normal is it.

im gutted.

he is 6, and i have neglected his needs.

teachers have always denied he has special needs. i outright asked more than once.

OP posts:

Original poster

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:34

what is dyspraxic?

dont want to google, scared

OP posts:

MarmMummy · 05/09/2009 22:38

Sorry, didn't mean that to sound so abrupt!!!

Have read whole thread now and lots of good advice.I've seen lots of little boys like this (ex head of boys infant school!!)and it really does sound like dyspraxia.

I would insist the school SENCO observes him, and they should recommend some useful strategies and ideally some sessions with an occupational therapist.

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 05/09/2009 22:38

"he is 6, and i have neglected his needs."

Says who?

The other explanation for such behaviour is possibly being bored shitless at school. A reason why my son is going to be privately educated.

To hmc - what do I feed my son? Not Ritalin, that's for sure. Mostly organic, home cooked food.

Seriously, OP, get off the internet and get a referral to an educational psychologist if you are genuinely worried about your son. Too many people with labels to stick on everything here.

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 22:39

Please pretty please go visit an INPP practioner or similar they will honestly tell you if they can help or not, they don't need him diagnosed. It will help it's amazing.

MarmMummy · 05/09/2009 22:40

Don't be scared! It used to be called 'clumsy child' syndrome or something. I used to think of it as dvanced level 'ants in your pants' syndrome.

Out of interest, what's his handwriting like? Can he play any sports etc?

IdontMN2makecopyforlazyjournos · 05/09/2009 22:40

And actually hmc, I don't give a fuck whether you believe me or not. Perhaps you should pay a little more attention to a thread before you start opining.

MarmMummy · 05/09/2009 22:41

advanced level even

Original poster

sunburntats · 05/09/2009 22:41

says me, thats how i feel.

dont want a label, or diagnisis.

dont want to stick him in a box with a title.

just need to understand and know what to do

OP posts:

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