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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3.5 year old still not dry at night - please help!

27 replies

mum2molly · 05/09/2009 15:09

Im hoping that you will be able to help me as my washing machine is about to walk out due to overwork.

My 2nd daughter has been dry during the day for approx 8 months. After moving house we thought it was time to try and crack the nights too.

After 8 weeks she is still wetting most nights despite lifting and restricting fluids after 6pm. My first daughter took just 2 nights and so this is quite a shock.

She is really chuffed when she does stay dry (though we have not yet heard her go to the toilet on these nights) but I dont think its laziness. When we lift her she is still asleep whilst on the toilet as she is a really deep sleeper and I think this is the problem.

This leads me to the question as to how this is ever cracked if she is too asleep to wake herself when she needs a wee.

anyone else has similar experiences and how did you crack it??

Should I put her back in pull ups and try again in a few months time?

Please help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cece · 05/09/2009 15:10

DS was in pull ups till he was nearly 5 despite being dry in the day about 2 years previously. I think she isn't ready and you should go back to pull ups.

Celery · 05/09/2009 15:11

She's obviously not ready. It's very normal to not be dry at night at this age. Try again in a few months.

hambo · 05/09/2009 15:11

5! Oh no! My DS is 2 3/4 and I was thinking of taking off his night nappy...maybe not then....drat

alwayslookingforanswers · 05/09/2009 15:12

oh god it's still really early. Put her back in pull-ups.

DS2 was my earliest at 3 1/2yrs, DS1 still isn't there (much older than that and after he turned 7 he was referred to the bed wetting clinic - before 7 it's not considered a problem).

Being dry at night isn't really something that's learned - as it's based on when the body start producing a certain hormone which tells them either to hold on, or to wake up and do a wee.

cece · 05/09/2009 15:12

Speaking to other mums in the playground there were quite a few who still wore them in Reception/Year 1 at night.

cat64 · 05/09/2009 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 15:14

It's a hormone thing, they need to produce enough of the hormone to concentrate the wee so they don't need to empty their bladder overnight. The way to encourage being dry at night is to encourage them to drink more during the day (works for adults too!).

Put her back in nappies until the nappies start being dry in the morning you are wasting your time!

My deep sleeper was not reliably dry until nearly 7. As soon as she was slightly unwell or extra tired we'd have a wet nappy after a few weeks of dry nappies, very frustrating but better than washing sheets every day.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 05/09/2009 15:20

Keep the nappy on, DD is the same age and still wet, sometimes getting through 2 nappies. She is not ready.

IdrisTheDragon · 05/09/2009 15:22

3.5 is very early to be consistently dry at night. And it has nothing to do with how early they are trained in the day time either.

I know that in DS's year 1 class there are some children who still have nappies at night.

IdrisTheDragon · 05/09/2009 15:24

hambo, it is possible for children of 2 3/4 to be dry at night. DS probably would have been (but left it until he was 3). DD was just over 2.5. I do seem to produce children with very capacious bladders though - have never lifted or restricted drink in any way - they just were ready early.

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 15:28

My other 3 were all dry at night between 2 & 3 years.

detoxdiva · 05/09/2009 15:33

mum2molly - my dd is also 3.5 and has been dry during the day for over a year...but shows no signs of being ready at night. We have tried but with no success - take the pressure off you and her and leave it until you start getting dry pullups....this thread has made me feel better about dd, so please take some reassurance from it too

Original poster

mum2molly · 05/09/2009 15:35

Thank you all for your help. Its very reassuring. I know you shouldnt compare your children and I do avoid doing it but the difference has taken me aback somewhat.

So action plan is....

put her back into pull ups
get her to drink more
dont panic!

thanks all. This was my first post in 7 years but well worth it.

OP posts:

ramonaquimby · 05/09/2009 15:50

my 4 year old starts school next week and still wears a pull up at night - she's not ready. lots of her peers in same situation

but my almost 3 year old IS dry at night. they are all different. it's a good plan you have!

CarGirl · 05/09/2009 17:25

My poor dd had to cope with both her younger sisters being dry at night well before her she did get upset about it at times but I wasn't going to wash sheets and duvet almost every day so she didn't have to wear a nappy at night.

franklymydear · 05/09/2009 17:27

put her in pull ups

worry if she's 7 and wetting

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 05/09/2009 17:29

I think you need to stop thinking that night time dryness is something to be cracked.

You can not truly train children to be dry at night.

My eldest was 7 before he was dry at night and my other two are still in nappies at night aged 4 and 6.

Will happen when their bodies are physically able.

bradsmissus · 05/09/2009 17:46

Fab - am so glad you posted! My DS is 4.5 and about to start school. I had been stressing about him still being in nappoes at night even though I am resigned to the fact that I can't do anything much about it. Thanks to your post I will now chill out and wait for it to happen. Thanks so much!!!!!

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 05/09/2009 17:47

Sparkletastic · 05/09/2009 17:53

Just to add to the deafening sound of agreement - go back to pull-ups. My 3.5 yr old DD2 is nowhere near dry at night, DD1 was at this age, different pull ups strokes for different kids folks

DesperateHousewifeToo · 05/09/2009 18:01

Agree with everyone who says that you cannot train them for night-time dryness. Weeing in bed is a sub-concious thing, they are asleep!

It is definitely a maturity thing.

I also firmly believe that lifting a child does not help either. A child who is only dry at night because you 'lift' him is not dry at night imvho.

If they are lifted and get used to weeing on the loo when asleep, I think, it just re-inforces in their minds that it is ok to wee when asleep. It aso does not let the bladder get used to being full.

Ds was well into Reception before he was dry and when it happened, it was like a switch being turned on. Dd however, was dry before 3. Neither of them, thankfully, wet the bed.

This video explains what to do if you do lift your child already

bubblagirl · 05/09/2009 18:05

my ds is 4.3 and still in night nappies and im not bothered at all by it in all honesty no 18 yr old is till in nappies it will happen the one thing i have been told though is to not lift at night as it enforces weeing asleep
its a hormone that kicks in to tell child they need a wee and wakes them to do so by lifting them your preventing them knowing when they need to wee

lots of people find it a competition and like to make it oh my child is and making you feel like your doing something wrong

i know people that say i lifted my child for 6 mths and now they are dry but its more likely the hormone kicked in in that time as 6 mths is along time to be lifting at night

MrsSantoslovestheBBC · 05/09/2009 18:13

Thanks for posting mumtomolly. DD is 4 and still in pull-ups. I had heard about the hormone thing but wondered if it was just me being a scummy mummy. I think I would only worry about it when she started going for sleepovers and that is some way off. Sometimes her pull up is dry in the morning but usually not so I don't think she is ready yet. Nice to know this is one task we don't have to do

jafina · 05/09/2009 20:09

I have non-identical twin boys. Ds1 was dry all night at 2.5 and has wet the bed ONCE since then (he is now 6.5). Ds2 wore pull ups until just before Reception and still wets the bed about once a month.

Definitely NATURE and not nurture!!

gigglewitch · 05/09/2009 20:13

in response to op - try not to stress over it
buy night time pants
DS2 almost 6 and wets when super-tired, simply doesn't wake up to wee. Wears dry-nites for the second half of every school week...

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