Tips for helping a toddler cope with numerous changes please

[chocolatechomper]

Hello Ladies and Gents,

My DD (17 months) has had a fair amount of changes so far this year and it's set to get worse so I was hoping you had some tips on how to make it easier for her, if poss: first, she had a new baby brother in May. As well as the new arrival, this also involved her moving rooms as the two of them are sharing a nursery. Then, due to financial difficulty (DH lost his job last December and although he is now working again, his income has dropped by half and I am on maternity leave - not that my p/t income would help much!), we had to reduce the days she was at nursery from 2 to 3. Although this doesn't sound like a big thing, we were very reluctant to do this because she LOVES nursery and, TBH, I am just not a natural SAHM (it sounds odd but, much as I love my LOs, I'm not v.good at playing and having child-like fun ...but that's another thread for another time...) so I think she misses her extra day. We have now reluctantly decided that we can't afford to stay in our home, so we need to put it on the market and will be moving into a rental property. We plan to stay in the area and were intending to keep DD at the same nursery, increasing back to 3 days when I went back to work, as well as starting DS there. However, today, I have received a letter to say that her nursery will be closing down on Friday due to financial reasons. Yes, that's right, in 2 days time !! So far, DD has taken the arrival of DS and the other changes in her stride and she loves her brother, but I'm worried that the change of nursery, followed by my returning to work and the subsequent house move might push her (and me!) over the edge. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance.

P.s. I'm sure you won't but, should anyone be tempted, please RESIST the urge to start suggesting ideas to keep us in our home...yes we have discussed the situation with our mortgage provider (who seem very keen to repossess our house) and credit counsellors etc. I only mention it because that seems to be the first thing people do when we mention that we have to sell our home and it just makes us feel worse .

P.P.S. If anyone has any recommendations for lovely nurseries in the Westbury/Devizes area of Wiltshire I would be very pleased to hear them

Oh poor you (and poor her). Must be really tough for you all.

I don't have any great ideas other than trying to establish some new routines: see if there are playgroups in the area (a far cheaper alternative to nurseries anyway) and start taking her to one or two on a regular basis (same goes if your local library does story time or anything similar). Also, possibly try and devise some everyday routines if you don't already - then these can continue whichever home you live in.

FWIW, when we moved home with our DD1 (also recently became a sibling, although circumstances prob a lot less traumatic), she stayed with my parents overnight so she didn't see her room be dismantled, then that was the first room we got sorted when we moved so she saw it up and running so to speak.

Good luck with it all

Thanks for your sympathetic reply. I must admit that we do feel pretty sorry for ourselves at the mo. But we are all well and healthy so things could be much worse . Unfortunately, I need to return to work in November at the latest so I do really need to get her into another nursery (rather than a playgroup) before then. But I might find some local playgroups to bridge the gap in the meantime (due to me being play-challenged!).

It had been our intention to move on a day DD was at nursery so that we could have things set up before she came home, which I still hope to do, assuming she's settled into a new nursery by then. Unfortunately, neither of our families are available for baby-sitting for one reason or another (too long to go into).

Firstly, poor you.

Have to type and run, but DC1 had a new sibling and a house move within a few months. We had his room set up with all his familiar toys in for when he came into the house. That made a difference.

Does she have any special friends in nursey you could arrange to meet up with?

The only other thing, which I don't know how to write without sounding banal, so I'll just say it, is that you and your DP will be the main constancy she really wants. You being there (even if it is less due to work constraints) will be a stability you are providing without realising it.

Good luck.

Now think that sounded very patronising. So sorry, it wasn't my intention.

I don't think you sounded patronising, missorinoco, you actually made me feel better about DD's trauma .