new to site. but need advice please ladys , and help with working this sit aswell

[emkam11]

ok i have 2 children a 2 year old, and also a 8.5 year old aswell both boys ,

i have been having problmens for about 7 years with my oldest son with all different kind of things he is a pain in the bum at school aswell i am so scared about him goin bk to school after the holidays as i am not to sure how long he will last ,

i would love to get to know you people on her anfd maybe pick up some great advice from ur please feel free to introsuce ur self

cheers em xx

What sort of things are worrying you about your eldest son in particular?

to be honest its the way he behaves all the time,
i will give you a quick list hun,

he will not listen to a thing any one tells him,
will only do thing he wants
can never seem to get on with other children i when it suits him , then he will be mean and nasty,

when you try and tell him off for not listening he will laugh, and burp in ur face ect ect,

one min he can be a lovely little boy and the next he gets a horrible look in eyes and is very very nastyto wards who ever and gets very very vilent,

when he goes to scoll he behaves very nbad and doesnt care that he gets in trouble all the time,

he finds it very hard to show his feelings and emotions,

he had real bad nightmare really horrible ones

says rea;;y nasty horrible things and tried to hurt others and his slef when he gets angry

i am so sorry for thew long ppost , i have so much goin round in my head i just dont know what to write down really if i am honest,

thank you for ue reply
xx

Hi, have you sought professional help for him via your GP? Is he on an Individual Education Plan at school - have they brought in the Educational Psychologist?

hi ya , i have been to the gp lots of time the last time i went about 4 months ago they said they felt it was time to get a referal to chams,

i gave all my evidence to help the refreal and also i needed help from the chool ie head teacher report ect,

the head had not been very helpfull at all and promised to do it all for me and she then decided to leave on the last day of term,
his cladd teacher befor she left did put in writting all the problems they have at school for me ,
but when i spoke to the gp she dais it could take a while to get this all sorted,

when i rang county hall yesterday they daid that he is on the sen register witch i didnt know about even though i was in regular contact with the school, i have asked then for help and they dais its on the cards but nothing seems to have been done,

i have asked for everything and anything as i am getting depsrate now as if things carry on i am so worried he is gonna get chucked out of school,
i am awaiting a call bk now from the parent partnership,

i just dont know what else i can do
than u fo rur reply

it sounds like you have asked for the right help and I think it's a brilliant idea to go through the parent partnership as they should be able to help you and support you. I think it can take a while for them to have someone free to see you but don't give up.

I think that would be my advice with it all actually - you've asked for a CAMHS referral and that is being processed. So just sit tight and those appointments will come up.

With regards to the SEN register you certainly should have known your ds was on it because you should have been having termly 'reviews' of his progress, has that not happened? If not then make sure you get one starting next term.

Good luck.

thank u so much for ur advice it a real help and had made me feel a bit better about things aswell,

i just want the best for ds like i know we all do its just a hard battle isnt it, its just hard to get to find out the right ways and route to go about things,

well we are having a few probs with the school as on the last day of term we had 5 teacher leave one being the deputy head and then we all got a letter sayin the head was leaving aswell so feel i may be starting all over again there,
but i have also had some advice from soicial services, they cant do anything to help me but they did give me advice on not letting the school getting away with the lack of support they have been givin us as its not fair on ds to be branded as the naughty boy,

i am in the process of getting a book together with all the infomation that i have so far, so i can keep records of everythiing

thank you
sorry about my spelling its awfull lol

Hi again, regarding your child's school I would recommend finding out who the SEN Co-ordinator is at the school and speaking with them.

well i have just found out today that apparently the sen teacher in the school was actually the head of the school and she wake dout on the last day of term,

it is all a joke hun x

They have to appoint a new SENco - keep asking, don't give up! They have a duty to have a SENco, they're not doing you a favour so don't worry about asking.

I'm really surprised the head was the senco previously - I've not got massive experience of schools but that just sounds very unusual to me. The Senco's role is to get involved in writing every child's IEP who needs one, attend reviews etc. Head's don't normally have this as part of their role, it's much more hands on and usually goes to a teacher ime. Be interesting to see who it will be next term....

Does he have trouble understanding or interpreting other peoples thoughts, feelings or actions? (Does he miss subtle messages that are put across by facial expression and body language?)

Does he have trouble with falling to sleep and/or have restless nights?

Can he at times be very literal in what he says and have difficulty understanding jokes, metaphor and sarcasm?

Does he have difficulty knowing when to start or end a conversation and choosing topics to talk about?

Are you answering Yes to these questions? If so, click here.