3 year old changes behaviour in social situations

[Me321]

My 3 year old little boy is fun, loving and cheery most of the time. He has a little brother of 8 months and he had some behavioual issues when he arrived which were expected. He seems to have accepted him now but his behaviour is awful whenever he is with other children of his age (at our house or theirs). Its like he is in competition. He becomes mean, spoilt and very very hyper! Has anyone else experienced this and if so how should I deal with it? He has even been aggresive to my friends baby who is the same age as my youngest. Thanks!

It could be something simple like trying to get your or your partner's attention because he feels left out.
I know that my Ds1 was lively, happy etc at home but as soon as he started nursey at 2.5 he had real social interaction problems, getting worse as he went to school.
He is very intelligent in the academic sense but struggles with children of his own age.

He has been agressive, loud, bossy, overbearing and has slowly been excluded over the years from parties, playdates etc.

Finally he has been diganosed by the school and myself with Aspergers, with the help of books, talking to others with ASD children and internet research.

Tommorrow (19th Aug) we have an appointment at the hospital for a formal diagnosis! I am very nervous, but at the same time it will be a relief and we can start to get the help he so needs.

My Ds1 is now nearly 8 and it has been a long journey, your little boy might just be adjusting to playing in groups and not have any more serious behaviour issues but it is worth looking into everything.

Wow yes I hadn't even thought of anything like that - it sounds like you and your son have had quite a hard time of it. Glad to hear that you are going to start getting help - exclusion doesn't help anyone! The thing i find hardest is that the change in behaviour seems so extreme. People must wonder how I cope as he is so defiant and so naughty! He acts so differently from when it's just us at home. I wondered if maybe I was making it worse as I feel anxious in the situation expecting it to be a nightmare. Anyway, hopefully it's just a phase but I will keep an eye on it. He attends nursery 2 mornings a week and he seems fine there but I thought it may be because he gets lot's of adult attention there?

Good luck tomorrow - hopefully a new start for you all!

Me321 - My DS is also 3 years old and sounds similar. I also find certain social events stressful with him as gets over excited and v. difficult. I must admit I do worry/struggle with his behaviour as he is far more demanding than other toddlers we see! What helps me is keeping meet ups to two hours max and I also find meeting out of the house at the park/soft play etc easier. He's also worse when he is tired/hungry. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

This certainly sounds the same - I also find soft play or the park the best place to meet! I feel bad because I don't often invite people here because that's when he is at his worst - esp if more than one other child. Thanks for comfirming it's not just me! Fingers crossed its a phase!