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Original poster

How do I stop DD2 (2.6) playing with DD1's poo?

28 replies

Moosy · 07/08/2009 20:46

DD1 (nearly 4) often poos after she goes to bed or first thing in the morning so she has a potty in their bedroom. Tonight is the third time in recent weeks that DD2 has tipped the poo out and played with it. The first 2 times it was only on one or two washable toys and the bathmat that the potty sits on, but tonight it was all over toys, books, rug, etc.

I've explained to her that it's dirty and that she mustn't do it, but she doesn't seem to 'get' it. I know she's only little, but surely there must be a way to stop her doing it?

Tonight DH threw away the dirty things and we've taken away all the toys in her bed (bar one that she can't sleep without) and she did get a bit upset at that but she still didn't seem to understand. Each time I've asked her if she knew why we were cross and she said "because I did play with the poo" but she still does it.

Any ideas on how to stop this happening again?

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MummyDragon · 07/08/2009 20:57

I have an idea. Tell your DD1 to poo in the toilet!

I don't know how old DD2 is, but don't you think it's pretty disgusting that she should have to spend all night in a bedroom with someone else's poo in it? In an uncovered potty? (Pretty gross for DD1 to have to do this too, tbh). Even prisons have flushable toilets in the cells!

I'm not surprised she plays with it. Presumably she's under the age of 3 (as your DD1 is 3) ... must be a hell of a temptation for her.

Also, try to get your DD1 to poo before she goes to bed. A HV or GP could probably suggest ways to change the structure of her diet so that she goes in the daytime, not at night.

It's just occurred to me - is this post a joke?

Butterfly99 · 07/08/2009 21:00

I would encourage your older daughter to go to the toilet rather than use a potty. It isn't nice to have a potty full of poo in the bedroom anyway. Then your younger dd wouldn't be tempted to play with it.

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 21:14

No it's not a joke!

I don't leave it there all night! I always go up about 30 minutes after they go to bed to check/empty it and she often doesn't use it until the morning anyway.

She can't go to the toilet as she can't reach the handle on the bedroom door (it's really high up). I can't leave the door open as they'd both run riot all evening.

Not sure how I can encourage her to poo before bed, I certainly can't poo on demand!

OP posts:
CaptainDJ · 07/08/2009 21:15

I'm afraid you've just got to take the temptation away and train her to use the toilet!

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 21:16

She can use the toilet (she does in the daytime), she just can't open the bedroom door.

OP posts:
CaptainDJ · 07/08/2009 21:19

Sorry, didn't mean that to come across like that. If she uses the toilet, perhaps you could open the door once they have gone to sleep so she can pop out if she needs to go?

littleducks · 07/08/2009 21:20

sorry maybe im missing the point but cant she call out Mummy i need a poo, yopu take her to the toilet and then she get baack in bed?

my dd occassionally wants to poo at bedtime (usually if we have been out all day) and thats what i do, ds stays in his cot through this

surely then you can checked she has a clean bottom too?

MummyDragon · 07/08/2009 21:20

They are in a room with the door closed, they can't reach the handle, and there might be a poo-filled potty in there???

How does DD1 wipe herself and wash her hands? Or does she have loo roll and a basin in the bedroom?

If she can go 30 minutes after going to bed, she can go 30 minutes before. It's a habit, pure and simple. If she's going early in the morning, she should be allowed to get up and go to the loo, or come into your bedroom to ask you to help her.

I wouldn't expect a 3-year-old to go to the loo at night by herself. I would expect her to call out for you to help her, and you would then go upstairs and help her. Including wiping her bottom, washing her hands, etc.

jumblies · 07/08/2009 21:22

Why not put them to bed then shut the door and after they are completely asleep, open it so that DD1 can get out to use the toilet if she wakes up and needs to.

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 21:24

Trouble is she does it before they go to sleep, not in the middle of the night.

She uses the potty because otherwise she does it in her nappy. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't call for me, she's not great at that for anything else!

OP posts:
Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 21:42

And now I feel like shit that you all think I run some sort of prison.

And I just shut my finger in the dishwasher door, I'm pregnant and hormonal and it's a full moon. What fucking chance do I have?!

OP posts:
happyevent · 07/08/2009 22:00

I have just joined tonight and this is the first post I have read.

I cant get over how harsh some of you are, We have the toughest job being a mum and when you are juggling every thing sometimes we dont always fall into the best of routeen this mum wanted support and advice not being shot down and know read that she is pregnant I hope some of think twice about judging people just remember how hormones affect you.

With refrence to your situation you will find a way of sorting it out it falls into place with time you will work it out. I got to my local childrens centres/sure starts they are realy helpful with all stuff like this.X

Tamarto · 07/08/2009 22:02

Oh happyevent not sure MN is the best place for you if you think this thread is harsh.

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 22:08

Thanks Happyevent

But Tamarto's right I'm afraid, this really isn't harsh at all in the grand scheme of things!

P'raps I should give it a try getting DD1 to call for me. It didn't work before which is why we gave her the potty in the first place (too many pooey nappies) but maybe it will now she's a little bit older.

Otherwise I think DD2 will be sleeping in the shed.

OP posts:
Tamarto · 07/08/2009 22:10

Oops forgot to add

OP - I'd try the calling for you thing, or what about installing a stairgate that DD1 can use but not DD2?

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 22:14

Ah yes, the stairgate is a good idea. I'll give DD1 a lesson in escaping tomorrow and hope she doesn't teach DD2 too!

OP posts:
noodlesoup · 07/08/2009 22:14

Maybe you could do something with your doorhandle so you can close it but your dd will be able to pull it open. Like in prison when they put tape over the latch. It would be better in general if she can get in annd out of her bedroom by herself.

Tamarto · 07/08/2009 22:16

We did similar with DS1 and 2 so DS1 could go to the toilet, he loved the fact that he could be trusted to not mess about because he was older. Good luck

happyevent · 07/08/2009 22:17

Ok guys what ever you think just reading one mum saying that even prisonors loos flush ect I think is harsh on another parent thats all i think is that what ever the post we need to be considarate in are messages and it upset me to read your last post. Am glad you are getting it sorted.

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 22:17

I see your theory noodle, but then DD2 would be able to get out as well and we'd have all sorts of trouble!

I'll try the stair gate tomorrow and see how that goes!

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CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/08/2009 22:30

My 3 year old can reach our high-up door handles using a step stool. Would that be an option? The younger one probably wouldn't be able to reach it so could work.

I'm not sure why she can't shout for you? If it's because you wouldn't hear her then how do you hear them when they need you for something else? Like if they are not well, or even if they've just woken up from a scary dream and need a bit of reassurance?

We still use a monitor in my DSs room for such things - also ensures they don't get out of bed without our say-so!

Did I read that you still put a nappy on her at night? Just curious as I would have thought at nearly 4 she wouldn't need one? I will happily be slapped down if this is not always the case - maybe I have been very lucky with my 2 boys who have been dry and clean at night at the same time as it's happened during the day time.

I would agree with others that I would always want to supervise my 3 year old having a poo - I think they are too little to wipe properly. And what if they have a touch of diarrhoea? I can just imagine the skid marks all over the place!!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/08/2009 22:34

Sorry, reading back, my post sounds really critical! Didn't mean for it to come across like that.

Putting it more simply, I think you need to find a way for your DD to do her poos on the toilet. Whatever works for you. I would think she will find a potty too babyish to go on soon anyway.

Original poster
Moosy · 07/08/2009 22:58

CurlyhairedAssassin you don't sound critical, just asking the questions I ask myself!

DD2 is almost as tall as DD1 so if DD1 can reach ten so can DD2! There's only 17.5 months between them so they're very similar in size.

We tried going nappyless about 2 weeks ago and it really really didn't work. She still wees in her sleep I think so I'm afraid we're stuck with them for a bit longer.

I think she probably could shout for me, but I don't think she'd bother. She's quite lazy sometimes and would happily poo in her nappy if it was the easier option The potty is one small step up from doing it in a nappy which is what was happening IYSWIM.

OP posts:
MummyDragon · 08/08/2009 07:29

happyevent I agree, this post isn't harsh at all compared to a lot of othes on MN! People are providing advice, like the OP wantd. She didn't ask for sympathy in her original post, otherwise she would have got it! Likewise, she didn't mention in her original post that she was "pregnant and hormonal" or that her DD still wears a nappy. Now we know these things, we can adjust our posts accordingly!

However, you're right, my post was critical - because I am utterly revolted by the idea of a child pooing in a potty next to her sleeping sister! Sorry, I can't help it. You can't expect a 2-year-old not to play with poo if it's there in front of her (unless other people's kids are angels and mine are poo-obsessed devils?!), so stop the older child pooing in the potty in an enclosed space - it's obvious.

If DD1 is able to get out of bed and do a poo in the potty all by herself (which is very impressive for a child who's still wearing a nappy at night!) then she should be able to call out for help to go to the toilet. And the stairgate idea is a good one too. I really do think that proper bottom-wiping and hand-washing should be encouraged after pooing, too.

And if she is pooing before she goes to sleep, you can get her to do it in the toilet before she goes to bed. Honestly, you can!! HV etc will be able to help with this.

Congrats on the pregnancy, Moosy.

FlightHattendant · 08/08/2009 07:36

please don't take this the wrong way, but I would feel very uncomfortable if there was a closed door between myself and my children at night.
i'd be afraid one of them might want me and not be able to be heard, or be sick, or, well, play with something they shoudln't

A stairgate is a great idea.
I don't know what else to suggest but ds used to call me when he had done a poo, so I could go and wipe him etc. I think this period of time might just require a little extra vigilance and/or supervision, for you until they are both in a different phase.

I get loads of stuff wrong, not criticising you at all xx