ds has always hated group activities - anyone else have this and how did your dc cope with school?

[deaconblue]

ds doesn't start school til next year but since he was tiny he's hated "joining in" type things. eg he loves books, will happily "read" to himself or with one or two other children but refuses to sit on the carpet and listen to a story with a whole group. This is the same for any group thing, particularly if it's led by an adult. Otherwise he's really sociable, plays nicely with groups of children etc etc. I just can't imagine how he'll be a primary school where it seems to be constant carpet time.

DS1 was exactly like that until he was around 4.5. I got really embarrassed when I took him to toddler parties etc as he would never join in, although he enjoyed going to watch everyone else have fun.

In the end I learned to relax and leave him to have fun his way.

A breakthrough came when he went to Mini Tots tennis - absolute madness to try and teach a 4yo tennis imo, don't know what I was thinking of, but it was run by a shy young lad who most of the mums disliked because they didn't think he was a good enough coach! but he got DS1 to join in. I think one problem is that people running these group activities think they need to be loud to appeal to children, which DS1 and his tennis coach proved wrong.

Now at 8 DS1 loves to join in with anyone anywhere. I'd say leave him be and it will come.

IME you'll also find that when you're not there he will join in more willingly

thanks that's reassuring. It's strange because he isn't remotely shy, just quite non-conformist I think. doesn't even like joining in with stuff on the tv. I just can't imagine him sitting at a table with a class full of other children sitting at tables. Am hoping it will come with maturity.

He is the same as DS1! He still won't join in with people on TV - do you you though? It makes me feel stupid too!

DD and I dance to all sorts of kiddy tv stuff and ds looks at us as if we are nuts. He's got a Dora book he loves but will not say aloud the things Dora tells him to say.