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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How to boost DS confidence

5 replies

nimbs · 10/07/2009 20:33

Any tips on how to boost DS (5 1/2) confidence? Particularly with regards to his reading/writing/numbers - he has settled really well at school and (not boasting here) a popular little boy with plenty of friendships but he has a real lack of confidence when it comes to his learning.

He's about average with his learning (his report said) but he constantly say's he is rubbish at it when he does it at home. Any tips on how to boost his confidence - he's very competitive and I think he probably compares his work with his friends - many of who are doing very well at school - we don't compare him at all. In fact both DH and I are incredibly proud of what he has achieved this year - and do tell him but it doesn't seem to make a difference to his opinion of himself

Please help

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thisisyesterday · 10/07/2009 20:36

well, i think i would take the route of just saying "why do you think that?" if he says he is rubbish at something.
don't say "oh you aren't rubbish etc etc" because by doing that you're just telling him that how he feels is wrong and might just make him feel like he shouldn't feel that way.

but if you can find out WHY he thinks he is rubbish, as you say, maybe comparing with friends? then you can chat to him about that. why some people are better than others at certain things, and get him to help you think up ways that he could improve if he wants to (ie, practising handwriting or whatever)

mrsmaidamess · 10/07/2009 20:36

Rather than teling him he's not, when he tells you he's rubbish, mirror it back to him 'You think you are rubbish?' He may open up more as to what specifically is making him feel like that. You can ask him' 'How can you get better?'

He may be sitting next to a know all, or on a table with childen of a higher ability and he's noticed.

mrsmaidamess · 10/07/2009 20:38

Virtually identical posts! (Great minds think alike)

MrsMcCluskey · 10/07/2009 20:39

HAs he had his eyes tessted?
DS2 was struggling like you have described at school, turned out he needed to wear glasses - low prescrption - but has made a BIG difference.

Original poster

nimbs · 10/07/2009 20:58

thank you so much for your help everyone - think that probably is the key to find out why
you're right great minds - mrsmaidamess

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