6 year old with concentration/behaviour problems

[Princess1976]

My son is 6. School report was really disappointing. Although he does well when he concentrates that dosent happen often and his work is now suffering. Entry in yesterdays work book "Didnt want to do any writing today so didnt, has sat for half hour doing nothing". Teacher said she couldnt even get him to pick up the pen. We have tried disapline, moaning, removing toys, time outs. Nothing worked, then tried postive praising over everything, still no change. he is now bottom of every subject. Teacher says he has the ability to be nearer the top of the class but just doesnt take it in, stares out of the window. He can be looking straight at you when you talk to him, but when you ask him to repeat what you have said, he has no idea. He gets distracted easily - really desperate and dont know what to do

DD2 was like this at 6 and is getting much more motivated now. I suppose you've tried reward charts giving him a sticker for, say, every 10 minutes of concentrated work leading to a treat when so many stickers have been collected. Has his teacher tried anything like that? Sometimes these things have more effect when it comes from the school.

Try getting him to practice his listening at home. Give him a list of 2 or 3 simple tasks to do and ask him to repeat them back to you and then to do them in order with a treat for success. Get him to write about something he's interested in at home.

The teacher should seriously be looking at strategies to get him more involved/focused. Letting him sit for half an hour 'doing nothing' is bloody outrageous. Is there any other reason why he does not want to be involved in the class work? There may be a learning difficulty that is not being picked up on or a hearing problem. I believe that when a child does not stay on task, it's usually because they are unable to. I think it would be different if he was simply a daydreamer, but if he is not accessing the curriculum, then it could be something more. You need to speak to his teacher and maybe their SENCO and get some help for him. I know schools break up very soon, but you need to have this conversation prior to the holidays so the problem is flagged for September. Good luck

Spoke to the teacher she says, when he actually does the work he is very good at it (he is not top of class so it is not that the work is too easy for him and he gets bored). He seems to like the interative learning, standing up clapping and stamping feet or having to counts using bricks or straws but when they have to write about what they have done, he doesnt want to. Says writing is boring, his handwriting is not at good as it should be, still quite big. Dont think he is dyslexic. He exels when taught in smaller numbers, loves the 121 attention, unfortunately the teacher cannot give him that. I have been giving him lots of praise for being good and have tried giving him small simple tasks to do with a reward when complete, he is getting there. He even got dressed into his pyjamas before being asked as he wanted to be a good boy - was only 4 o'clock, bless im

Unfortunately, our education system does not cater for kinesthetic learners which are usually the boys. I have 2 boys and have found formal education a bit of a nightmare for them to be honest. Took one out of state and paid through the nose for a private school which was the best thing that ever happened to him and us - can't afford to do it for ds2, who needs it even more (dx ADHD). I realise this is not a choice for many many people and that's the sad thing .... so many kids would benefit from smaller classes and brilliant teachers - it's shite!

My ds5 has recently diagnosed by the Occupational therapist for Sensory Processing Disorder, it is a mouth full and I am still learning about it. He doesn't concetrate, he doesn't sit still and is easialy distrated. He stragling with his hand writing,reading and learning in general. What I am doing that is working: I have created a chart with the days of the week on the top and in its sides I put things that I want him to achieve. I also consulted him so he could have ownership of his tasks. For example,I aksed how would you feel if you could read everything? ds said " I could read my book in bed" me "Great! This would be amazing, what do you think you need to do to be able to read everything? ds " I need to practice" me "Great! when can you do that?" ds "everyday after breakfast" me " good, for how long?" ds "20 min" So one of his taks is to read for 20 min after bkfast. when he trys to get away with it, I simply reminde him of what he wants to achieve. We have being doing this for three weeks now and it is working. He has tasks like taking the rubish out on Tuesdays, Writing for 20 min after school, sitting properly at meal times etc. Everytime he does what we asked he gets a star. At the end of the week he chooses the rewards ( I give him two choices) It is not easy, I look at other kids doing well and I wonder what I am doing wrong. but I look at the bright side, that most successful people come from challenging backgrounds and circunstances. Be positive and act positive

Have you had his hearing checked? I've had the same concentration problems with my 4 year old (obviously not at school yet though) and it turns out that he is almost completely deaf in one ear. Get your HV to put him forward for a hearing test.

My son is 7 and sounds very similar but in the last few months he has finally started to learn.He has had a fantastic teacher,he is in a small school with his class being rec,yr1 and yr2 all in one room and its been the best for him as he was able to repeat reception while still learning with his peers, he was not ready to learn, all his maths he has used bricks to count etc. His imagination is amazing if he could write and put his words down his stories would be fantastic.Don't forget in britain we send our children to school 3 years before some countries, it's a struggle for some children if they are not ready for formal learning,it does not suit them all.Be patient, rule out any learning difficulties.But do it at his pace, small and often.The progress is slow but it is happening.

I have a four and half year old daughter, that is consistantly naughty, she wont do as she is told at all be me or her father, she calls me pretty naughty names and tells me that she hates all the time. When put into time out she screams the house down. She is my oldest child, but she has two older step brother and step sister, aged 16 and 14. They have no time for her at all, because she is so naughty all the time they just push her away, when all she wants is to talk to them or spend time with them as they only live with us for 3 nights a week. It is like that she always fighting for attention, but as she going about in the naughty way she not getting anything. I also have a 12 month all boy. Her father I did seperate late last year for a little while but now are back together but it is getting to point now if her behaviour doesn't improve we will seperate again, just to keep peace for everyone.
SHe attends day care twice aweek to get ready for school, and they have commented that her behaviour is very bad also.
I have caught her steeling lollies from shops and I have warmed her that if you steel the police will take her away.
Please help I am at my wits end with her. Her father and I don't want to seperate but maybe dont have any choices.
Julza79

hi there i have a son who is six. He has been diagnosed with high functioning autism and has problems with the toilet. he can go for up to a week without going. i wondered if anyone knew if i could any help on the nhs with a nutritionist?

weeone2 Post your question on 'Special Needs Children' secton .... there will mums with similar experience I'm sure - good luck

My DS also very naughty, and won't listen.
I went on a positive parenting course run by our local sure start. It really helped me to understand a lot of naughtiness is just demand for attention, and the emphasis is on positive praise... catch your child being good... (sometimes that's not so easy!)

I do best with my son when I have been reading the book that came with the course 'the incredible years' by Caroline Webster-Stratton. Actually I've signed up for another course, because my son has special needs, and the local Children's centre are running one especially for parents of children with special needs or disabilities.

Maybe there is something similar in your area?