How can I enjoy my kids?

[cazzzz]

Hi

I have 5yo and 8yo boys. They are essentially normal but they behaviour is driving me to feel stressed, have tension headaches, feel depressed and over-eat, and nearly constantly feel "when will this get easier"?

I really want to enjoy the journey of life.

I'm going to start a list here of ways that I can enjoy their company - please help by adding your own suggestions.

1. Getting them into bed earlier, (and thereby separating them) and enjoying reading and chatting time.

1. Booking in more activities for them as individuals so I can enjoy "mooching" time with the child still with me (going to cafes etc)

1. Planning each day of the holidays well in advance so I don't have a scarey empty space stretching out ahead of me.

More please.....

For the long holidays - WATER. Even a cheapo baby paddling pool or a couple of buckets....dunno why, but water just works. Let them 'paint' with it on the outside house walls with big paint brushes. Wash their bikes & outdoor toys.

DO NOT GIVE THEM A SUPER-SOAKER EACH THOUGH! That's a recipe for murder!

Do you lots with other families? I find having a BBQ in the garden with other kids there makes the dcs better behaved
also wearing them out at park, swimming, trampoline in garden etc

We probably do a lowish to mediumish amount with other families - I'm going to arrange playdates for the holidays.

I'm finding my 8 yo is growing out of kiddy-ish activities like the park and trampoline - any suggestions for this older age group?

I am hoping to have a night in a Youth Hostel with my eldest later in the year. The plan is that we will bond over map reading and a walk, and play board games in the evening. I will take my younger one next year.

DH has taken them camping separately in the past and it has gone well. It gives me a chance to watch a film and stuff with the one left behind.

When one boy is at Cubs or Beavers, I bake buns with the other.

I like the idea of a youth hostel etc with one child.

I think separating them more is key at the moment.

It's just hard to do this in the normal routine of the day - can this be achieved within the home??

Sit together and make as timetable. My Mum swore by then (teaching family alert). You decide that on Monday morning you go swimming, Tuesday is playdate day, Wednesday is Arts and crafts in the moring, park in the afternoon etc, etc.

Also get them to have a 'project', they both choose something to research and them make models/ create a notebook to show their teacher next year etc. Cheap and will keep them occupied. Get them to keep a diary- top half of page is a picture of their activities during the day, bottom half some writing about it (they will LOVE these when they are older).

Get them out as much as possible and be prepared for your own life/ interests to go out the window for the summer. I do find though the more time I spend with them that they respond to it by being better behaved. The more time they spend occupying themselves the more time there is for beating each other up/ fighting/ screaming etc, etc.

You are not alone to be dreading the holidays and my two are only 2 and 5!!

sorry for the typos- make a timetable, mum swore by them

Thankyou Shoot

Making a timetable together is a good idea - I've been setting up the activities by myself.

I like the project idea too - will have to think about that one.

I have done diaries before (they are beautiful - in a wonky childish way!) but the actual doing of them has been resisted by the kids - so I have mixed feelings about them. Might try them again.

Thankyou for all your suggestions ... keep them coming .. still feeling rather overwhelmed by my kids!

don't give up on the trampoline yet lol - next door's gcse and a level boys still use theirs and ds1 is agog is at the tricks they do and games they play. next door have a basketball hoop too, which my 3 (9,7,5) all adore and always beg the big boys to let them have a go...
agree with water. mine also have a scary need to build enormous stuff out of giant cardboard boxes and paint them - i still have to supervise the cutting as that thick triwall stuff is hard work - but it generally keeps them quiet for a day or two...
put up a tent in the garden and allow a certain amount of 'camping at home' - you can go the whole hog if you like, but probably getting them to make and eat their own lunch out there and play top trumps in the tent in the afternoon will be enough - you can chuck a load of cushions and blamkets in and let them get on with it.