Not waving but drowning. My three year old is ill EVERY week. Is this normal?

[Ragtaggle]

My d.s has a temp of 39.5 - hand, foot and mouth I suspect this week. In the last three months he has had diorreah constantly, two bouts of throwing up, tonsilitis, a urine infection and temperatures at regular intervals. He has had eczema on his legs since birth and that flares up regularly too. He has two warts appear on his chest and my friend says it's evidence of an immune system that's not working very well. (Her son had warts and thats what she was told) The truth is I'm at the end of my tether - my dh has been away since the end of March, I have a FT job and another child and I cannot keep the balls in the air at the moment. Bursting into tears in the office and constantlly being called home to pick up sick son. I'm starting to get really jittery as I'm the sole producer on a TV programme that's about to go on air and which requires me to be away filming for a few days at a time. Can anyone reassure me that some children are just like this? My dd wasn't so am shocked at how hard I'm finding it. I would feel really reassured though if someone could just tell me that it will pass!! Although don't lie to me if it's not true....

What does your doctor say? I must admit that he seems to have been ill a lot. Has his immune system been checked?

no answers i'm afraid but empathy - going thru same sort of thing with my 3.5 ds for the last four months. He is so rarely well. will watch this thread with interest.

So sorry about your work situation as well - sounds very tough and i hope you can work out a solution

hugs

Is there a good catch-all way to check an immune system then? I took him to the doctor to ask about the diorreah and the stool sample was checked for everything and came back fine so I wondered whether he maybe had a food intolerance. I asked the same doctor about the warts and he said they were normal and would go 'in about 8 months'. It's only my friend that's got me thinking that maybe his immune system isn't working properly. I think I'll go back in the morning although it's starting to get embarrassing at work. I'm sure they think I'm making it up that he's ill this often.

How old was he when he started going to nursery / childminder? Or do you have a nanny? Just wondering if it's only been in the last 12-18 months, my two were dreadful, ill all the time and then just at a more normal frequency now.

I'd be concerned about the diarrhoea - food allergy?

Tonsilitis - lots of it about - chances are he'll get it.

eczema - lots of small ones have it - it's a nightmare but they do eventually grow out of it.

urine infections - does he drink alot of juice? is so cut it out completely, get him off citrus and on to water / milk. Is he still in nappies?

The warts - what kind are they? There is a kind that you squeeze as a pimple (once softened from a bath for eg) and then they go - wash your hands throughly and dispose of the bit that comes out carefully as v infectious. They bleed a bit but that's ok.

Thanks for such a considered response BS! He has been at nursery for a year. He's there five mornings a week and then is picked up by my nanny who brings her own child to work (She's 2) So he's not really new to that. He was drinking a lot of juice - I have cut it right back so that he's mostly drinking squash and water now. The warts had little white heads although one has gone a bit purpley in last week. I haven't tried squeezing it. As for the diarrhoea I don't know what to do. Could he have just started being allergic to something now?

Perhaps he's getting run down due to the constant diarrhoea and that's making him susceptible to other illnesses.
Think you need to get to the reason behind the diarrhoea.

We've had loads of illness with DD - 5 ear infections alone last winter. (I know what you mean about it getting a bit silly with work, felt awful ringing in so much. Also work in tv so understand the pressure!)

I did ask my doc if DD had some kind of immunological problem and he told me that children with this tend to go downhill quite rapidly when they get ill - ie get admitted to hospital for routine infections.

Don't know if this helps - he did say that some kids are just prone to getting ill more than others and outgrow it when they get older.

ok - I think a year is not long in terms of they get absoltuely everything that's going plus it seems to be term related too - there's always a surge in the autumn term (aaagh I know you don't want to hear that!).

I would really go to just milk or water. Lots of fresh fruit and veg etc and cut out sugars - they are really bad for urine infections!

The white heads sound promising! give it a go. you can even do it in the bath - make sure he's had a good soak before you start or do it afterwards and whip a plaster on before he sees the blood - they do bleed afterwards but then they're gone!

more tomorrow.....

Hi

I feel for you as we are just coming out (hopeful emoticon) of another 3-4 month period of constant illness in our 3 kids, though it is our middle child who causes the most worry. We finally insisted on a hospital check up when it got too ridiculous and they did a full blood test which turned up nothing. They don't like doing it on little kids but it put our minds at rest. They did suggest he had asthma and has been on steroid inhalers since. Not relevant to your situation but the underlying condition being more manageable has perhaps led to fewer chesty coughs and tiredness and therefore less general unwellness.

So I second others' views about getting the diarrhoea fully checked out again. Go back to the GP and ask for a full review of what it could be a symptom of? Ask to be referred on?

But should also say, it has been like this with all my kids in the first year/18m of nursery. They have to get these things to build up an immune system (and kids immune systems don't work very well until they're a bit older) and some kids - yours and mine - get things relentlessly.

FWIW DS1, now 10 was off seemingly every other week, and now has the consitution of a horse.

I'd check out the bowel thing again, get some extra hours of help to cover the work things, and a bit of moral support for you. It is really, really hard and draining. I speak from experience - have nearly gone nuts 3 times this year since returning from Mat Leave. You've gotta throw your hands up and give in and sleep when you can, but so hard to manage with work. Is your DH back soon? Can he be? Does he understand how difficult it is for you to keep all these balls in the air on your own?

Hope you get a break soon

is it definitely diarrhoea or just 'loose'?

Hi. My three have had a lot more illnesses back end of last year/beginning of this, I just think there have been more nasty bugs going round this year, which your ds would have been more vulnerable to than your dd being that bit younger. It will pass!

Spots might be molluscum which are unsightly but not as far as I know related to immune system.

Obv do go back to gp if it's worrying you that ds is getting too many bugs, but I wouldn't let your friend's advice worry you unduly.

Thanks for the advice - am definitely going to drag them both (if only I could leave one at home with someone!) to the early morning surgery tomorrow. DH does understand how hard it is to keep balls in the air. Like me, he is freelance and before this job stayed at home with the kids for three months so he's usually pretty hands on. I don't think either of us realised how hard it would be when he took this job on (Three and a half months out of the country) but it's a valuable lesson learnt. We have both agreed that he can never take a job away again without us all going with him as he's found being away from the kids really hard too. He is coming home tomorrow for 36 HOURS which is going to be fantastic but will be really hard to say goodbye to him again. Need to try and stay positive and try not to let bubbling stress and resentment trickle out. Tempted just to hand the kids over and check into a hotel!