My 4 year old is starting school soon but his behaviour has deteriorated

[Ulysees]

I'm at my wits end with him. He just laughs if I tell him off.

He kicks, hits,and gets right in your face amongst other things. I had a note from his pre school today saying his behaviour is disruptive and they're monitoring it. I helped out there one day and couldn't believe how bad he behaved

I don't smack. I use the naughty step and put him in a room as a last resort. I've even tried taking toys off him. The pre school asked if his routine or diet had changed but I can't think of anything.

What worries me more is this lack of empathy. I'm really dreading September and know I'll be the mum who gets pulled up all the time

I've put a note in his pre school diary to say how he is at home. I'm off to get him now and dread what they're going to say?

He doesn't communicate as well as other kids his age. His speech is perfect but the interraction isn't as good sometimes so maybe this is why he's like this? Or maybe he's getting bored and is ready for school?

Well, I'll soon know if he's listened to my little chat we had this morning.

do you have many playdates with other children?

if you don't can I suggest if possible you start to invite other kids from his class back on a 1 or 2 child at a time basis and watch the interraction / playing then you can intervene as and when necessary and also reinforce the good ways of behaviour

you don't need to smack him, but maybe the parameters you have set for his behaviour are not strict enough? zero tolerance on kicks / hits and even getting in your face

or if he has issues processing information / communicating you might want to get that checked by a developmental psyche cos the behaviour could be frustration

ask pre-school how they are coping with his behaviour and develop a joint strategy so what he gets at home he gets at school

you don't need to be worried about sept you have neough time to sort this out if you are confident and consistent in your approach

Thanks Mud. He tends to get on better with kids older than himself, maybe because he's so close to his older brother?

They said they kept him v busy today. The main problems seem to be making noise when he should be quiet and touching the other kids. I know his best friend does this a lot too.

The pre school are monitoring and said they'll report back after every session.

Well today he'd been good all day but disruptive at the end so at least there's some improvment. I've put a note in his book to say if he's too bad to tell him mummy's coming to take him home. I'm pretty convinced this will calm him down as he hates to miss anything. When we're out with him and he plays up he's threatened with going back to the car and this works a treat. Only because we have followed through and done it once so he knows it isn't an idle threat.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day

How about a star chart, with a treat /small prize at the ned of the week/day (depending on how long you think he can keep it up)?
I was a bit sceptical , but they really did work for DS who was just over 4 at the time.
Also I don't know if you've seen the thread on fish oils. I now give DS flax oil as he is allergic to fish, and I think it does make a difference.
Perhaps the pre-school could join in with a star chart and that can be included in one you have at home for continuity?

Cheers alison, I may try that. Tbh he isn't too bad at home. I don't think the pre school will do a star chart as there are 30 kids and they'll be wondering why they dont' get one!

I was thinking of trying flax oil as I did try fish oils but he hated the taste. Thanks for reminding me x