Temm me some stories about sensitive children growing out of some of their sensitivities.......

[VictorVictoria]

I have a DS (just 4) who has always been pretty sensitive. He is thoroughly NT, but ticks many of the boxes on the "Highly Sensitive Child" checklist. the main issues are fears of things like birthday party entertainers if they are loud and "in your face" (but not the actual parties which he likes), loud seperation anxiety (although he is always absolutely fine 5 minutes after I leave) and absolutely hates performing or being the centre of attention. Nursery summer concert yesterday and although he sung all the songs he had to sit on the teachers knee throughout as he was so overwhelmed rather than standing up at the front of the stage with all his friends. Oh and has always been physically quite caustions as seems more aware of danger than other children.

He loves nursery, has good friends, is by and large nice to his little sister etc etc.,

Juist really interested in the experience of other parents with similar children. When did they start to grow out of this?

He sounds a lot like my ds who is only 2 but I can see he is more aware of danger and very intimidated by other kids pushing and shoving etc. He cries and litterally jumps at loud noises, just the smoke alarm makes him cry or a loud motorbike outside. He hates to be centre of attention in a large group. He doesn't like people getting in his face either, even if the person is fairly familiar he will look shocked and not want to go to them. Basically he's fine if people leave him to it and he'll come around but if people are loud and pushy with him he retreats. I can't answer your question but I am watching with interest!

All the things you mention sound totally normal for a four year old! I really wouldn't worry - he'll overcome a lot of his apprehensions in due course, and he'll probably be very intelligent (sensitivity is often a sign of a fine mind).

My nearly 4 yr-old is like this. She wants to do things but needs to observe a lot and have much hand-holding and lap-sitting. Parties can be a nightmare. I do worry for her and hope that she will become more confident as she gets older.

My DD (4.7) is only just beginning to enjoy herself at children's parties (especially when they involve entertainers). She was very clingy, didn't want me to leave her etc. However, she has adored more grown up sorts of parties (dancing until midnight etc) since she was first allowed to go to them, aged 3.

The last party we went to, there was a woman dressed up as a GIANT minnie mouse. DS was absolutely terrified. Have to say I was slightly freaked out too.................

I agree, those dressed up adults can be very frightening/odd/peculiar! I take it as a sign of children's intelligence and good mental health when they can see quite clearly that the woman in front of them is not eg a fairy but an otherwise rather unattractive woman in her late 20s who isn't at all good at acting!

Oh dear. I have booked a children's entertainer for dd's 4th birthday party in July. I thought it might help her and take the pressure off her to play games etc. Is this not a good idea??? I did ecplain to him that dd is very shy and does not like anything remotely violent.

I definitely wouldn't have had an entertainer at DD's 4th birthday. The best birthday parties this year have been small ones with a mixture of trad party games (a few) and craft activities, with parents eating and drinking and generally hanging around.

Well I'm undecided. This isn't that kind of party where parents hang out eating and drinking. It's a week day afternoon, mums only and no adult food and drink - it really is just for the kids. It's also not at our house, whcih is too small (although it won't be a really big party - 10 4 yr-olds but a mass of younger sibs).

I adore those kinds of parties where the parents hang out - but this is for dd, not me She sometimes (well, often) finds attention and games challenging, and I thought maybe an entertainer would take the attention away and help her relax. It will also give me time to fuss about since it's not at our house.

I guess we will try it as an experiment and see.