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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone moved house with a young child? DD1 is 3 and got upset when we mentioned it.

10 replies

suiledonn · 03/06/2009 22:40

We have lived in our current house since just before dd1 was born. We looked at a house today and decided to go ahead and rent it. We mentioned it to her and she got very upset saying she wants to stay in our own house. We have a month before we move. Any ideas on how to make the transition easier on her?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tatt · 03/06/2009 22:48

reassure her that all her toys will be going. Take her to look at the house and if possible say you'll decorate her room as she wants. Explain why you are moving and why the new house will be better. If you are able to reassure her that she will still see friends/ be able to go to places she likes then say that.

Mousey84 · 03/06/2009 22:51

DD was a little older - 5 - when we moved (5 minutes walk away!)

Ask her what she loves most about the house you are currently in / what she is worried about. DD thought she wasnt going to get to bring any of her stuff with her when we left - that all her beloved toys and books would be left behind.

Let her take photos of the place you are in now, and make a special book (which will probably be forgotten in no time at all, but could mean a lot to her now)

Having her involved in decorating her room (if you can do that in your new place) may also help.

A year on DD still talks about our old place. I tell her some of my great memories we shared there and lead onto ones that we have in our new place. She danders off happy

blimey · 04/06/2009 11:00

THere are some good kids books on moving home - usborne do one and there's another one I can't recall but do a search, we read these to our boys (4and 2 at the time) and it really helped.
Once moved it was all fine very quickly for them (slower for me!) hope it goes well.

nancy75 · 04/06/2009 11:09

when you move unpack all of her stuff first and make her room as similar as possible to the one in the old house. we moved last year when dd was3, she was quite anxious about it, but my mum had her while we moved/sorted stuff out and when she got back she was quite happy that we had brought her old room with us and made it bigger! it must be quite a stressful thing for a child of that age to move house but i think making their room as familiar as possible gives a bit of security, also if you have unpacked all the toys they can entertain themselves for half an hour while you sort out the rest of the house!

Original poster

suiledonn · 04/06/2009 11:29

Thanks everyone for your experiences and ideas. Just wondering since we won't be going for a month should I start talking to her about it now or leave it closer to the time.
The new house is newer, brighter and a lot nicer so I'm sure she will love it once we are settled.

OP posts:

lal123 · 04/06/2009 11:34

DD was 4 when we moved - she was worried that we would leave her thngs behind and that she would have to leave her pink wall. Once we moved and she had a chance to do up her new room she loved it

dueinnovember · 04/06/2009 11:43

We've moved twice with DD1, first time at 9mths, second time at 3 yrs. For the last move she didn't want to move as she was happy with her friends and nursery but we explained all the reasons - closer to Daddy's work so we'd see more of him in the evening and pointed out all the things that were better - close to a nice park, shops she could ride her bike too. We went to the DIY shop together and bought paint and curtains so we could decorate her room before we moved in. Its a rental too but we got the landlord to agree. When she went into the room for the first time there was also a present for her. At 3 they understand so much that its worth telling them whats going on to a certain extent. She's been really happy in the new place and we still visit her old friends - lots at the start until she started complaining it took too long in the car and she wanted to find some closer to our new home. Good luck, it will work out.

stealthsquiggle · 04/06/2009 11:56

DS was 3.5 when we moved. He had to be re-assured what felt like about a million times that we were taking everything (including the cat!) with us - we moved a long way so it was a complete break from nursery, friends, etc, etc, but he was excited about bigger garden, room, etc.

Once we moved he never looked back - the actual point of leaving the old house for the last time was lost in the excitement of riding in the van with Daddy.

blimey · 04/06/2009 17:05

I would deffo start talking to her now about it and start reading the books with her! When we finally moved my 2 year old looked as though the penny suddenly dropped for him about why we had been reading the books to him and it definitely helped my 4 year old to know what to expect.

neversaydie · 04/06/2009 17:29

We moved when DS was just 4. We reassured him that all his bedroom furniture would be going, and his toys and his books, his bedding, the curtains and lampshade...

He then said he wanted to take the wallpaper!

He eventually settled for promise of a coat of paint in a colour of his choosing at the new house. Come to think of it, he still hasn't asked us for it, and we have been in the house 5 years!

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