What the worst thing that your dc has ever done?

[endless]

Mine has had a long career in the destruction industry.
But today, he climbed up onto a work bench in the garage (to get a set of stickers that we didnt even know were there).
DH across the garage asked him twice to get down, ds continued upwards, couldnt see the stickers, so kicked a 3/4 full tin of emulsion paint off the side....lid came off paint pot skidding across the garage.

Everything including ds covered, splattered in paint.
dh bazerk, i had to send him back into the garage while i dunked my paint soaked child into the shower.

Wait till i tell you about the vomit, turds and wee all within 20 mins one day....

Now you......

My ds put toilet paper in the sink plug hole and turned the taps on full. I realised when water poured into the kitchen below! Don't think he was even 3 then either!

Tonight I discovered DS1 (4.5) had peed in 8 different toy boxes ruining several books and soaking MANY MANY toys. Even though I've washed myself more than once I can still smell the stench of stale boy urine.

There's still a giant box of lego to wash but I'm tempted just to bin it all.

Ok not messy but very annoying...

DD (15mths) pulled out our sky card then lost interest in it and it took me 4hrs, Yes 4 hours to find it!! Grrrr...

In the end it was inside one of her Spot books

This happened yesterday BTW...

When ds1 was 1 he took off his crappy nappy, climbed on my bed with the white Dior bedding which we'd bought as a treat when we got engaged, sat on the pillow next to me and laughed. I got up horrified to find that he'd also washed his dry hair with baby shampoo, emptied dental floss all over the hall and stuffed the toilet full of hangers. I swear I will never let him forget!! He's 15 now and gets reminded regularly

DD1 cut a snip out of every item in my wardrobe.
And the bedding.
And the curtains.

Ha ha, I'm going to post something really fucking BENIGN!

DD (3.9) stole the smartie off the top of DS's(20 months)cupcake.

It is the single, naughtiest thing she has ever done.

Hard to describe the context, but she properly snuck off her chair whilst I went into the kitchen, nicked it, necked it and returned to her chair.

If it wasn't for DS's wails and pointing forlornly at his cake I would never have known.

Sycamoretree - LOL

But the big question is did she own up or deny??

Oh, she totally caved when challenged! I just said "what's happened in here" in my most stern voice and she just went pink and said "I just ate the smartie off DS's cake - sorry mummy"

I made her give him the smartie off her cake and also a sweetie from her treat pot.

She was really upset poor poppet!

LOL.

sycamore that's not the worst but it is one of the funniest.

My dd1 would do similar and then say "but I couldn't help it mummy"

MY DS2 used to put tellytubbys down the toilet, block it and then crap in it. He was only two so it may have been a critique rather than wanton destruction.

My DD phoned for an ambulance and told them that mummy was lying on the floor bleeding from the head. She gave her name as her best friend and then hung up. She also told them daddy was at home so they sent a load of police thinking it was some kind of domestic.

she was 5.

PMSL at Pagwatch's discerning DS2

pagwatch - LOL at ambulance call, maybe I have got all these things to come as Dcs are only 3 & 1

BTW - what were you doing so your DD would think you were on floor unable to speak??

Yes pag, please do tell.

Sycamore that reminds me of my childhood! My brother was always licking all the sweets, chocolate, biscuits when my mums back was turned in the hope that he'd get both. Although it had the opposite effect, nothing really puts me off food . Disgusting but sadly true .