Potty Training - What is Realistic?

[dcolagirl]

As the warmer weather is now upon us (at least until Saturday, I'm told!) I have decided that next week is potty training week. I am off work too so we can stay in the garden.

DS is 2.5 yrs and we have attempted PT several times before. He just doesn't get it. He likes sitting on the potty but I don't think he realises he is supposed to pee in it.

I've read all the other threads about what age to start and what to look for before starting, but I can't find any practical advice about what I should expect. Should I expect a success rate of 1 in 3 wees in the pot? At what stage do I decide he still isn't ready and put a nappy back on?

DD is 15 months and I might even put her on the pot when DS is on it, just to give her the idea.

What do you think? Some realistic goals please!!!

I don't think it's a coincidence that your DSs regression ocurred when his baby brother arrived. I suspect he is a bit jealous of all the attention his brother gets and wants to be a "baby" again, hence insisting on a nappy.

I'm not entirely sure what the solution is though! Can you make a big fuss of what a big boy he is, get him to help with his brother, make out what a chore it is to be changing DS2s nappy. Have you tried the good old Star Chart to persuade him, working up to earning a big treat?

Good luck

HI Meid,

Sorry, haven't been online for a while. Potty training is going very well indeed. DD is now telling me whne she needs to go and the other day when we were out in the car she was able to hold on until I got her to a nearby supermarket toilet. I've got her one of those kids toilet seats too which makes her feel all grown up, and over the last week she has also progressed to poos on the potty too. I'm really pleased with how she is doing. How is it all going with you?

Hi Gingerbabe. I'm pleased to hear you're having success. We stopped the potty training but started again this Monday. On Monday only one small wet accident, Tuesday a couple and yesterday back to only one. I don't know yet about today because I'm at work but she seems to really be enjoying it too which is a good sign. We're going to a wedding at the weekend and I've got to decide whether to continue or put her in pull ups. I'm hoping that progress will be good and we can continue but its early days.

I wonder if any of you have got any bright ideas on this one. ds stopped wearing nappies 1.5 weeks ago. Before the big day (which sort of happened by chance anyway, so wasn't a big day at all) we'd pretty much been keeping him nudey as it's so hot here atm & he's gradually started using the potty more & more & had basically no accidents. Since he's been without nappies, he's had only a coupl eof accidents one day at the beginning, but we were at an open air pool, so I think the fun + the swimming trunks were a factor. Other than that he has his wee cracked & is even dry at night.

Problem - he is very hit & miss with his poo. I read that normally kids have bowel control 1st usually, but not ds. At 1st he'd poo seemingly without being able to stop himself & not realising until the event. but the last few days he's known a poo was coming, sorry to be graphic - felt a bit come out & clenched, running in panic shouting poo poo. We'd take him to the loo - and nothing. Then maybe an hour later he'd do it in his pants. Today we've had about 4 incidents where he's realised it's coming, stopped himself but then not been able to go. Dh reckons he'll get the hang of it in time, but I'm concerned it's going to lead to constipation +/or hang ups.

are there any tips to help him relax & let it out? any other experience of this particular quirk or tips on how to deal with it. He basically today has soiled his pants about 5 times but not even managed a poo.

yet wee is absolutely no problem.

Out of nowhere he got it! He won't sit on the potty though (I think it is too uncomfortable) but stands (one foot either side) and pees directly into it - his aim is superb!!!! So very proud

One problem. He will only poo in a nappy.

Hi everyone

I'm new to mumsnetters but from reading through it seems like a friendly support network.

Anyway my DS was 2 y 6 m when we started potty training, he didn't take to it at all so we left it for a couple of months and tried again. This time was a breeze, we bought some tweenie and bob pants and started. He took to it easily this time, apart from having to bring potty into lounge as he didn't like the toilet. Also tried no nappy at night at this time and he was fine.

One thing he wanted to was watch us when we went, this was ok but became a bit embarassing when he wanted to watch visitors as well!!!

No ideas about getting the hang of poos?

monkey, in the NCT Book of Potty Training, a very similar question is posed in the Q&A section.

It suggests making a note of when a bowel movement is likely to happen e.g my own daughter used to go at around 6pm or as soon as she put one bite of her dinner in her mouth(!) for about 3 years or that your child may give signs e.g. fidgety, restless - then give him a gentle reminder.

HTH.

thanks SueW. You're lucky your daughter is regular! I've been trying to see a pattern, but it seems to be any time of the day. I've been keeping a note and so far it's been 10, 1.30,6,2, 4 & 630 (attempts only) etc etc. You see, he realises he has to go, but he's so intent on making it to the loo, by the time he gets there he can't seem to let go again, and then we have 3 or 4 or 5 attempts and no successes. So far he's not got a problem, but I'm concerned poo will become an issue quite quickly, & it is a bit stressful for me! But thanks for taking the time. Good idea to look out for mannerisms. Maybe I can spot them in advance & try and steer him to the loo like that. I'll pay more attention tomorrow.

Message withdrawn

Somewhere I read that giving your child a balloon to blow up whilst on the toilet helped! I can see the theory behind this but DS1 has only just learnt to blow up a balloon and he's 4.5 and has been potty trained for 18 months!

He got the hang of wees first too, Monkey. In fact, we gave up training for a couple of months since he didn't make any progress with poos and I couldn't stand it any longer. He got it within days on the second training attempt.

Thanks for those ideas! He unfortunately pooed his pants(!) in the Peugeot garage while I was talking to the salesman this morning. "Poo, poo!" rushed him to the loo, but he'd already let some out, not a full poo though, but definitely enough!, but couldn't continue. yet on the way home he told me a wee was coming, we stopped at a garage had to ask if there was one etc & he was able to hold on & did it on the loo no problem. If he was having wee accidents too I'd probably leave it, but like I said, he's got no problems there, day or night, but the poo thing is a real headache.

Still struggling with poos too. He will happily plop on the carpet, in the garden, wherever, but he does get very fidgetty and anxious before he goes, so he KNOWS it is coming. He will sit on the toilet (he calls it big potty) but hasn't linked the two yet. We have tried pants too but he just wets them. He is totally potty trained in terms of wee as long as we leave his bottom half naked. Not sure where to take it from here.

As far as poos are concerned I used to tip the poo into the potty, sit the child on it and the say "look that's where poos go" in a delighted voice. Never had to deal with a "problem" as took that approach from the start. Also with wees if they weed elsewhere I'd say"Not on the carpet, in the potty" and sit them on straight away to make the association, must have worked as dd(3.5) is now training ds with same phrases - hilarious!!

My son is just gone 2, is this too early to start potty training??

No, you carry on, just remember to try and do it outside if you can where he can run about without his pants on and have a sit down every few minutes on his potty.

The other thing is not to expect him to produce on demand!! Potty training can be a very frustrating business, for both of you. It's important to tell him how good he is when he does do it where you want it and to say never mind and just clear it up, no groaning as he sprays your cream curtains yellow.

We used to wait 15mins after a drink then sit and have a story on the potty the ones that have lift the flaps my children liked best.

I've just started potty training with my ds and although he doesn't have a clue he enjoys the sitting together and reading part.

Best of all most of the accidents are happening in the garden and not on my carpet!

My little boy was 21 months when he showed an interest and we're getting on nicely (he's two next week) He's quite a big child and spends a lot of time with older children at his childminder's so maybe that's why he was ready so early. The summer has helped soooo much plus you need a complete lack of shame to whip out a potty whenever and wherever the need arises! I was in no rush to potty train him....nappies are so much easier but I didn't want to miss the window of oppotunity when he showed an interest. One thing that surprised me in the early stages was the extra physical effort of bending and lifting...I was aching for days at the beginning! Sometimes it's like having a mucky pup around the house.....wee everywhere!

been quite woried about this one....dd(3 )is very bright child but wouldnt entertain the idea of a potty ,ive been trying since she was 2.
anyway shes due to start preschool in sep so at the weekend we just decided to bite the bullet and told her she not having a nappy on during the day at all.after a couple of stressful days of nappies ,accidents and her being very stubborn and holding on for hours i hink(touch wood) we've finally mastered it.since monday we've had no accidents and poos and wees in the potty.
even her nappy she has on at night been dry.
very chuffed as expected wees in the potty ok but thought poos would take awhile longer.
now just hope she doesnt regress and everything goes ok with knickers on:0

Cyndii, don't think 2 is too early at all, in fact I am surprised at how many children there are approaching 3 who are still in nappies. My ds started going without a nappy at 23 months whilst in the garden and on the day of his second birthday I took it away completely and he has never had it back on apart from at night. I think it is earier wtih a boy and particularly because I have an older one that the potty only lasted about a month before he was standing at the toilet and weeing into it like older boys. I think that if you are going to start then you might as well get it over and done with and just go for it and not resort back to nappies at all. I have to say it has saved me a fortune.

OK so how do you tell if it is worth trying? I have a 20 month old ds and was intending to wait until next spring/summer before 'going for it' - but I don't really have a clue how I would tell if he is ready sooner. Right now he knows when he has done a poo and will tell us when he has a dirty nappy; I've started telling him about what the toilet is for but have no idea whether he understands; and I don't think he has much awareness about weeing at all. What signs should I look out for?

We potty trained our DS in three days when he was 22 months. We knew the time was right because he was telling us when he had done a wee and wanted a clean nappy on / or no nappy at all.

We did go through a two week period recently (he's 26 months now) when he had a lot of accidents - I just put this down to him being distracted by the other children at the childminders and he has subsequently reverted to being almost 100% reliable.

I think each child is individual and that the norm is anywher from 20months - 3 years.

HTH

my ds is nearly two and nowhere near ready. He will say 'I've done wee wee' but only after the event, and can say 'nappy poo', but I think has very little awareness of the poo coming, merely noting that is has arrived! There was some research saying basically (& I exaggerate), that for most children, if you start at two you train for a year and if you start at nearly three you train for a week - so you end up your child trained at the same age! It very much depends on the child, but I think a reliably trained two year old is definitely the exception rather than the rule.

Dd was dry day and night by 18mnths but she used to hate having a nappy on and got the hang of if i don't want the nappy i have to do it here.

Ds well he likes not having a nappy, always goes to the same corner at the same time of day and does a poo but.... likes to spray the curtains, yes he does think it's funny.

As I said befor it nice for him not to have a bulky nappy on in the good weather, so what if I have to change endless pairs of pants and wash curtains if he's happy without his nappy then I'm happy.

Although if it rains I may have to put it on again.

My dd is nearly 22 months and potty trained herself over a month about a fortnight ago. She is also dry at night. I don't think it is anything to do with a special technique, it was just that she wanted to use a potty (seeing other older children at nursery doing it gave her the idea) and so I provided a couple round the house. I have also heard that it is genetic, whether you potty train early or not, and my Mum says all 3 of us were potty trained in the day by 18 months (back in the days when we didn't have disposables) and more or less dry at night a few months later. My message is show your child what a potty is and if s/he is interested, then go for it.

Aloha, I agree. I started DS1 later than his immediate peers yet he was still reliably trained at the same time and night trained before most of them.

DS2 (2.5) is utterly clueless. I'd planned on starting to train him last week but it's clearly not worth it.