worried about 3 year old - doesn't come to me for comfort

[frustratedgodess]

Hi first post so forgive the length! I'm really worried about my 3 year old daughter. She is my middle child , she has an older brother (4yrs) and younger sister (10mths). From an early age she has been very independant , I started getting worried when at playgroup she would go and sit on the leaders lap at circle time than on mine, she will routinely sit on other mums laps at gatherings etc. While we were on holiday last week she spent ages in the playground chasing after other kids to have someone to play with and tonight at her brothers school disco she was desperate for kids to dance with her. Other children seem freaked out by her?! My husband reckons she's just a very sociable confident little girl and I'm being paranoid. My son is severly disabled and therefore cannot play with her as other siblings would and the youngest is still a baby, I don't work so am at home with her all the time- am I right to be worried?

Perhaps she feels that with a disabled brother and a baby you already have your hands full. It must be difficult. Do you make time for just the two of you without the others being around?

Yes we go swimmimg together every week, just the two of us . Other times it's much more difficult as the baby is always there.

Hopefully someone else will reply. I would say that your DH is right and she is a sociable DC. I think she has probably become more self contained because you have been busy with her brother. I would just keep trying to have special time together, telling stories where you have to cuddle up to see the pictures would be good.

she sounds confident and secure - well done! I really think your husband is right. She sounds lovely actually. Don't worry about other children being freaked out a bit by her; often children are taken aback by little ones who are full of confidence but it doesn't mean she'll be friendless!

Good idea with the swimming, I agree with pisces to keep going with that

don't worry!

some children really are just that independant at a young age, im sure she knows that you are there when she needs you, as a child i would always crave attention and 'mothering' from older children and then i in turn would 'mother' younger children. but i always knew that mummy was there, when i fell and hurt myself, it wasnt anyone else but her that i wanted. you're daughter may perhaps pick up on the fact that your baby and older son require more attention than she does and so doesnt try and snatch your attention when she knows she really doesnt need to. as long as she knows she can always come to you no matter what, and get your full attention when she does need it or an explanation if you cant give it then she will be fine. i know its hard trying to juggle 3 children, but it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job. your daughter knows who her mummy is