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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what age can a child put shoes on by themselves?

18 replies

SuperBunny · 25/03/2009 23:32

DS is 3.5 and won't even try to put his shoes on himself. Or, he makes a half-hearted effort, rolls on the floor for ten minutes the whines that it is too hard. They are only trainers with velcro and I have shown him countless times how to do it. He has 'helped' me to do it so I know he is capable.

AIBU to expect him to at least try?

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kitkatqueen · 25/03/2009 23:39

My DD2 has velcro shoes which she puts on for herself ( since she was 2.5 ) She used to get them on the wrong feet occasionally so I put an "R" and an "L" in them for her, she is now 3.5.

Would point out tho that trainers are sometimes difficult because of the tongue - could you get him some summer canvas shoes without a tongue?

When I started getting dd to put her own shoes on I started of by saying put your feet in yourself and I will do them up.

Good luck

Original poster

SuperBunny · 25/03/2009 23:44

Ok, will try that, thanks. I didn't think I was being unreasonable but I wanted to make sure.

R & L inside is a good idea. I will mark all his shoes now.

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LynneBromnick · 29/03/2009 12:59

If it's any help my 3 year old son will only take his shoes off!!! But I figure it will at least give him an idea how shoes work. I've been around kids and shoes for years as a shoe technologist for a big UK retailer. I would expect children to be doing their own shoes any time between 2.5 and 3.5 depending on the style and fit of the shoes. Invariably girls are better at this, particularly if the shoes are pink and glitzy!
I've now started my own shoe company, Shoes On Ltd at www.ShoesOn.co.uk where I offer useful tips on measuring and fitting children's feet as I don't know about you, but I find the service and advice you receive in many stores to be poor. Often kids can feel intimidated in shops, where measuring and fitting shoes at home can be relaxing and fun!

Good luck!!

Geepers · 29/03/2009 13:01

My daughter is 2.3 and can easily put on velcros shoes, slippers, and wellies herself. In fact, she insists, and won't let us help her. She changes her footwear about 100 times a day though. That girl likes her shoes!

PurpleLostPrincess · 29/03/2009 14:22

All kids are different and have their strengths and weaknesses - DD1 couldn't put her socks on herself until she was 8 years old but she could read and write at 4years of age. She just wasn't interested and I used to worry myself sick about how she would get dressed and undressed at school lol!

She's now 10 years old and has only learnt how to brush her own hair in the last year or so. Personally I wouldn't worry to much but the advice already given seems good to me and well worth a try Hope it all goes well!

PeppermintPatty · 29/03/2009 14:45

My DD is like Geepers DD, she's only 21 months but can put her shoes on herself (not always on the right foot though) and changes them several times a day.

Once we went to a party, all the kids took their shoes off at the door and she spent the whole time trying everyone elses shoes on

Maybe it's a girl thing?? I can imagine if your DS has no interest in wearing his shoes he has no incentive to learn to put them on. Maybe try and make wearing his shoes more interesting to him somehow?

PurpleLostPrincess · 29/03/2009 18:33

Have you tried wellies?! Kids more often than not seem to LOVE them and love taking them off and putting them on together can be fun - maybe get a size or two too big to make it easier for him?

Lazycow · 29/03/2009 18:43

Well ds is 4.5 and I Still have to put his shoes on for him. It is driving me insane.

I have shown him so many times but he seems unable to do it. It is painful to watch as he just doesn't seem to get it. If I walk away and leave him to it just stops trying and will start doing something else no matter how much I remind him.

We had some success for a while by using a shoe horn ( a long one he could hole while standing up but it was still very difficult for him. He is currently refusing point blank to put them on himself at the moment and it is a battle that I have given up for now and will try agin in a while.

KHS · 29/03/2009 19:04

If his shoes are big, comfy and have velcro straps I can't really see a reason why he wouldn't be able to put them on, unless of course he just prefers you to do it.

My two learned how to do it around age 3 but still refused to do it all the time on the grounds of sheer laziness. It was the same with socks and getting dressed generally. So I just sat around until they did it, explaining that we would be late if they didn't hurry up. Which we were.

Their nursery has the same approach consistently, and after missing out on a few outdoor play sessions because they couldn't be bothered to put their shoes on they soon got the idea. Many of the parents don't follow up at home though and do it for them because it's quicker, so they never learn to do it for themselves as a matter of course. Consistency really is key.

You might just have to start getting ready earlier for a while and sit around waiting and encouraging him (with stickers/a chart as a prize?) while he gets around to it, but it is well worth the effort in the long run.

spinspinsugar · 30/03/2009 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SuperBunny · 30/03/2009 17:41

Oh goodness, I feel rather inadequate now (but comforted by lazycow's post).

He can do wellies and crocs but can't (or won't) put anything more complicated himself. I did once say I was leaving without him because he was faffing around so much and he panicked and shoved his feet half in then waddled along with me but he really should be able to do it properly. I will persevere. I just need to find some patience.

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izyboy · 30/03/2009 18:05

Oh DS has only just got the 'knack' of shoes - but they are often on the wrong feet and I do them if we are rushed. He is 4.11 and being a leftie I think has slowed this down a bit.

bubblagirl · 30/03/2009 18:14

my ds is nearly 4 and can put them on but needs me to do them up even Velcro ones but sometimes he'll just say mummy do it lol

but he can just do it

DanJARMouse · 30/03/2009 18:19

DD2 has velcro trainers and is 3.5yrs. She has been doing it for the last few months, occasionally have to tell her they are on the wrong feet but otherwise, its all good.

I sometimes have to tighten the velcro, but she seems to have mastered that now too!

OrmIrian · 30/03/2009 18:20

Erm... properly? About 12. If properly means untying the laces first

Claire2009 · 30/03/2009 18:21

DD (3) can do hers, velcro - has been doing them a few months.
DS (2) can't and doesnt even try, although he loves to put DD's dress up high heels on

SoupDreggon · 30/03/2009 18:26

DD has done this from sometime before she was 2.5. Not always the right feet but [shrug]

Not sure how helpful it is pitting L & R in a 3 yo's shoes it. They (mostly) can't read and can't remember which is L and which is R. Unless you have it drawn in biro on them somewhere.

A tip I read somewhere is to draw two halves of a face so that the face only matches when the shoes are put together in the correct position.

Original poster

SuperBunny · 30/03/2009 18:35

I LOVE the face idea. L & R is hard to remember, I think - I had visions of putting L & R on DS's feet with permanent marker

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