Hitting himself!!

[leander]

I may make myself out to be a bit mad here , but here goes.
My ds 15 mths is always hitting himself on the side of his face,he also throws himself on the floor but only when he doesn't get his own way.My mum says all kids do it but i'm worried about him hurting himself.

I have friends whose little boys sometimes bite themselves out of frustration, which sounds similar to your DS. I don't think "all" kids do it, but it must be pretty common, too. Is there anything you can do to lower his frustration levels?

My son used to headbutt the floor and the walls and the windows for that matter. Every time he got frustrated or didn't get his own way he would do this. He couldn't tell me how he was feeling about whatever, or couldn't communicate well enough to tell me how he was feeling. He is 5 now and has pretty much stopped doing that now that he can communicate better. Sometimes he hits himself in the head with his hand when he gets frustrated or angry about something, but that is usually when he is tired and can't be bothered talking about it. when he was headbutting things, I couldn't find anything to stop him from doing it. I couldn't find anyway to make him feel better about anything. I tried all sorts of things from picking him up and holding him tight until he finished, to telling him off, to putting him in his cot or bed for a while, to smacking his hand or his bum and telling him to not headbut things. It was horrible and frustrating for him and me. The only thing that worked, was time to develop his speach and social skills.

I had a friend who's son headbutting things as well. They were out and he decided to headbutt the concrete floor which made his head bleed alot and knocked himself unconcious. He recovered fine and doesn't do that anymore. My friend told me that story about 4 years before my boy was born and was the only thing that kept me from going completely nuts, I was about 90% sure it would come to an end. phew!

My ds also went through a phase of hitting hmself, pulling out clumps of his hair and biting himself when he was in a particularly bad mood at around 20m. It was incredibly distressing to watch and nothing would soothe or distract him. I basically tried to ensure he was somewhere safe (a cot, strapped in to a high chair) if I physically could and walk out the room trying to completely ignore it. It stopped within a few weeks, as I think firstly he got no attention from it, secondly it actually hurt him and thirdly his communication ability improved reducing his frustration. He will occassionally go to bite himself now (at 30m) but you can tell he realises this isn't a great idea. He does lash out at us and bites me and others when tired and frustrated but he is getting better.

(Having recently embarked on potty training quite successfully, he now wets himself when cross, which is less distressing but really annoying so I guess they always find a way to get to you when they want to...)

leander, my ds is also 15 months and for the last three months he has hit himself repeatedly on the head and also headbuts anything and everything, including me. He slaps himself all the time and is really just exploring I suppose but it does worry me. He bangs his head on the floor all the time and sometimes he does it so hard that he cries!!

So don't worry - you are not alone! I am sure they will grow out of it. My ds used to pull my hair all the time and never does it now (thank god)