Learning at 4 years old ...actively taught or just absorbed .... sorry longish!

[bodiddly]

Leading on from a conversation the other day on here about learning letters and numbers ... do you actively teach your children things or do they pick them up as they go along? Ds has just turned 4 and is at nursery pretty much all day every day during the week where he appears to learn absolutely nada in this regard. I am sure he is learning plenty in terms of social interaction and fine motor skills etc but nothing concrete with writing his name or recognising letters and words. Most of the children I know that go to pre-school rather than private nursery are actively taught and presumably most of them learn. I have noticed that some of the children in his class at nursery can write their own names etc .... so I guess they must be learning them at home! I would not have a problem with this if I had more time every day that I could spend going through these things with him but he basically gets up, goes to school, comes home and goes to bed! When we were on holiday in Cornwall last year we obviously spent plenty of time with him doing puzzles etc ... but when he tried a puzzle today (after a while of not doing them at home) he was totally clueless .. and I do mean totally! Am I being a worry wart that needs to back off and let him be - I know that he will learn it at school anyway (assuming other children in his situation are just picking up information rather than their parents finding ways of teaching them with limited time!) or make sure that at weekends we make a special effort? As an extra aside .. I have read to him from a young age and he does love books!

cool. Hockey is a great game .. though I must admit I was less keen by the time I was 16 and it was snowing and I was still expected to go and stand outside for 90 minutes!

Im sure if I had a dd I would have to take her to dance just to see her in a pink leotard and tutu ... ds has started making up moves to any R&B or rap music he hears on the radio in a spiderman stylee .... soooo bizarre! I think I need to get the video recorder out.

They actually had a day off school because of the snow, it was so deep they had to dig out the teaching blokes

You just have to play I spy with him, it's just fab - completely random!

dd3 "I spy something beginning with S"

many many guesses later.......

"Simona" childminders daughter who currently wasnt with us 200 miles away on the M6!

yes eye spy is fab .. he really doesnt get the concept .. even if you guess correctly he just changes the subject and does another one .. and he usually picks one of the cats!

B for bottom - could be worse. One of the little boys at DD's nursery came out with W for Willy when they did letter of the week recently

brilliant about the snow ... the school seems to have its own weather - I was there when they had the hurricane and all the trees on the avenue came down - it was quite scary and the school was cut off for about a week I believe!

I think my ds would probably come up with that one too womblingfree!

I never actively taught my 8yo son and havent with my 4yo son. I think they should be left alone unless they ask for it. 8yo has done just as goos as others who were forced fed reading, maths etc

agree with shattered. He's still at nursery, learning social skills/interaction with others is enough IMO.

Reception is not supposed to be 'school' it is preparation for school so that is the right time IMO for starting to learn letters, numbers etc.

Don't worry at all. If he shows an interest of course go ahead, but it is totally age appropriate for him not to, IMHO and IME

so all those children that do learn theirs ... are they absorbing the information or being actively taught?

"so all those children that do learn theirs ... are they absorbing the information or being actively taught?"

probably a bit of the first and a lot of the second

learning is about much more than numbers and letters and writing your name

children need to be prepared for school and by that I mean they need to develop concentration skills, social skills, manipulative skills, listening skills, self- help skills, independence skills.

They need to master all these skills before they are ready to be taught.

We have a very poor record for education of children in this country and the major reason is the fact that we send our children to school too early before they are ready for it.

And the numeracy hour and the literacy hour have in fact made things wopse, not better.

good point purepurple .. I think I am just going to leave ds to it ... I guess he will pick things up when he is good and ready. Lets hope that meanwhile he is picking up some of the other skills you mentioned! Fingers crossed the social skills should be reasonable .. he has been at nursery since he was diddy!

I think children being ready is the key factor. I have actively taught DD a lot of stuff, but I have done it because she has asked me to. I don't pin her to the table on a daily basis and drum stuff into her, and if she wants to stop, we stop.

womblingfree .. in that case ds definitely isnt ready ..he doesnt show any interest at all. He would far rather be playing with lego or drawing than looking at letters etc.

If he can spend a long time playing with lego and drawing is could quite well be ahead of many of the children who can read & write anyway!

Try and enjoy the last bit of his school free time, there's too much pressure when they go to school anyway (IMHO)

thanks CG .. will let him just enjoy playing with whatever takes his fancy in that case and try to ignore the people saying "he should know such and such by now"

ds1 is 2.5 and has self taught himself letters, he can recognise the whole alphabet in capitals, most of it in small letters.

he was never taught this, in fact i'm actively against early reading as i much prefer the continental method of not even starting reading til 6/7 years old

dd is 4 and goes to playschool. the playschool doesn't do reading or anything too educational (at the parents request, we all feel they spend enough years at school learning, playschool should be just for play). she has however learned to sing the alphabet song but except for 2 letters can't recognise any letters and has no real interest in learning, i'm happy with this tbh. a friend of mine has taught her daughter of the same age to spell certain words and it's utterly pointless as it's just some memorised words to the child, it has no meaning to her.

dd's skills lie in other areas, she's a faster runner than boys twice her age and loves art and dancing. she'll learn to read eventually in school but if she has no interest i won't teach her.

ds1 on the other hand is facinated so will have to buy some early reading books for him as equally i don't think it's fair not to teach him if he really wants to learn.

i didn't learn to read til i was 7/8 due to moving country so often and within a year was outreading all my peers and read 'the hobbit' at age 9. the age you learn at doesn't affect your skill leval, although forcing a child too young to learn could damage their relationship with reading for the rest of their lives

sorry, i'm just rambling now

thanks pinktulips - its incredible how very different children are from each other. He has a love of books so I think that is half the battle ... it is the one thing I buy and borrow from the library in abundance. I dont care if the house is full of them so long as he enjoys them. Dp only reads gaming magazines and trashy newspapers so I am desperate to encourage ds to follow my footsteps and enjoy reading. I have always got a book on the go and make sure he sees me reading!

I'm still impressed with his lego, perhaps you could buy him some old fashioned mechanno!

Am reading this with interest.

DS is 3.8 and showing very little interest in letters or numbers. He can count to 10 and is showing sign of wanting to go further. He can recognise the letter 'o'. I got very excited the other day because I was waffling on about 'p' for peas, potty, panda, puddle...and he said 'pirate' - which is the first time he's played the game.

He is sociable and happy and great at sharing and loves looking after babies. He has a couple of very good friendships. But he is not ready to learn letters/do 'academic' stuff. He loves playing with cars and making up stories and games (today he was rescuing cheetas on Granny's exercise bike!).

Many of his friends are way ahead. And although, rationally, I know it doesn't matter, I can't help but feel a little concerned that he will be behind when he starts school in Sept.

It will be ok - won't it!?!?!?

The rest of Europe starts to teach reading at the age of 7 for a very good reason, please don't worry NSRR

I know is foolish thinking on my part.

I love DS as he is and am so proud of him in social situations and really do fluff up when he is in full imaginative story telling mode.

One of my good friends is a GP. She is dutch and didn't learn any of this stuff until she was at least 6. She is v brainy!

I find it difficult when friends are (rightfully) revelling in their children's prowess.

Guess just have to let it wash over me.

Will also focus on preparing DS for school in practical ways - getting dressed, asking for help etc.

Good to be able to sound off a bit about it...

Well I'm just hoping dd4 will be able to say "Yes" by September instead of her version which is "Neah" - kind of focuses your mind when you know your child will be starting on the SEN list for speech & language!

DD1 is very academically able and I really don't think she could read or write before school either, I've always just wanted them to be happy because that is what matters in life to me. To be happy at school provided they behave themselves and join in.

Agree cargirl. I really do just want DS to be happy. I just hope that the fact that he is not so interested in letters etc will not cause him problems/anxiety at school if friends/peers are leaping ahead.

But I guess that is for the school to manage. I am really happy with the school he is going to so fingers crossed all will be well.

Thanks for the reassurance!

glad I am not the only one NSRR. I just have to cross my fingers that he behaves himself at school and concentrates and the rest will come! That said I am not convinced about the behaviour .. he has been picking up some nasty habits from a couple of older boys at nursery over the last week or two .. grrrrrr!

Hadn't thought of meccano CG .. I remember my brother playing with that for hours. How is dd4 doing? I know you said she needed to start re-learning her sounds etc again - does she do that with you at home or have to get help?