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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I've bodged up potty training. Please help me work out how to start again/sort it out.

17 replies

deaconblue · 22/02/2009 19:53

Started potty training ds 5 weeks ago and I thought we were doing really well because he almost never wets during the day. BUT I've realised that the only reason he's dry is because I take him to the potty every 3 hours. If I ask him "do you need a wee?" he always says no and then minutes later can wet himself. He never asks for the potty and isn't at all bothered if he wets.
Not sure what to do next, he's nearly 3 and I doubt he'd go back to nappies even if I wanted him to (which I don't, I think we need to get this cracked), he can pee on cue and doesn't mind sitting on the potty when I ask him to. So how can I help him move to the next stage or would you just keep going with taking him to the potty and wait for him to gradually "get it"??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Clary · 22/02/2009 19:55

Is he really able to go 3 hours between wees?

That's pretty impressive.
If I read you right and that's the case, I personally would continue with that; certainly don't go back to nappies, that won't help anyone.

TomNook · 22/02/2009 19:55

You need to soldier on.

Mintyy · 22/02/2009 19:59

You haven't bodged it. He sounds like he's doing well.

TBH I always get frustrated with the parents who ask their potty training dc if they need a wee. The answer is invariably no and a puddle will inevitably follow.

Just keep taking him when you think its time to go.

notnowbernard · 22/02/2009 20:00

Fret not! At least you have a child who will go with you to the potty when you ask him to...

I had dd1 who would point blank refuse to go on the potty or toilet unless she wanted to... and a lot of the time she didn't want to [AARGH emoticon] Hence many many wet trouser scenarios

You could try just leaving him to it to see if the feeling of being wet teaches him himself that he needs to get to the potty in time

mankymummy · 22/02/2009 20:01

put some stickers by the loo and tell him that everytime he's gone for a wee on his own, he can bring the sheet to you and he can choose a sticker.

i hate sticker reward things but this works...

Grammaticus · 22/02/2009 20:04

You haven't bodged it - you've successfully completed the first stage!

minxofmancunia · 22/02/2009 20:06

sounds like you're doing well, I put dd in knickers today on the advice of nursery and have a notnowbernard situation, she won't do ANYTHING unless it's her decision and that includes the potty.

Lots of wet pants today but I'll persevere, I'm inexperienecd in this area but it sounds like you should carry on as you have been doing.

Original poster

deaconblue · 22/02/2009 20:36

thanks everyone, that's what dh thinks too. I guess I'm impatient and foolishly read a "potty training in 1 week" book which said they should be asking for the potty by the end of the first week. He has a bladder of steel which is handy when we go out as I can pretty much guarantee if I get him to go before we leave, I've got ages before I need to stress over finding another toilet.
I like the sticker idea, although the poor fella is quite uncoordinated and struggles to get his trousers and pants up and down on his own even if I dress him in jogging bottoms.

OP posts:

mankymummy · 22/02/2009 22:05

well, my DS spends most of the time indoors with just a top on... give it a go, pants off and stickers for a bit. bet he'll be so proud of himself after a week he'll master the dressing/undressing too.

mumeeee · 22/02/2009 22:07

Just keep going. You are doing very well and he will move on to the next stage.

NellyTheElephant · 23/02/2009 13:51

What you are describing is v normal, I think most people go through this. You get them pretty much free of accidents as you take them to the loo regularly, then there is a little bit of a relapse around 5 or 6 weeks when you relax and start to let them take control of telling you rather than clock watching and taking them regularly. I potty trained DD2 a few months ago now and I'm sort of half way in between. If we are going out I will make her go to the loo before we go, but otherwise I leave her to it and now she usually tells me (hasn't had an accident for a while), they pick it up soon enough. Keep taking him regularly as you are doing, but maybe extend the time a little (say 3 and a half hours rather than 3) and see if her starts telling you. He will eventually start telling you, don't worry too much! As for getting their own clothes on and off, DD2 is 4 but I still generally have to help her pull up her tights if she is wearing them as they are quite tricky, so don't worry about whether he can do his own clothes or not, just help him if he needs it.

Doozle · 27/06/2009 13:53

Wow, I know this is an old but this situation perfectly describes my own with 3 year old DD.

Shoppingbags if you're still around, I'd be really interested to know when/if he eventually started telling you he needs to go.

DD will happily go if I tell her to go and can last 3 hours between wees. But she will always have an accident if not.

I will keep trying with her, all your replies have encouraged me that we're halfway there.

EugeneHCrabs · 27/06/2009 13:54

aha
i can tell you for she is my mate.
he is still in nappies

Doozle · 27/06/2009 14:26

oh no!

BiscuitStuffer · 27/06/2009 20:34

Packet of chocolate buttons.

One for a wee and two for a poo.

Original poster

deaconblue · 28/06/2009 20:09

He's a pita with potty training. We put him back in pull ups for 2 months then decided to try again. Horrible two days which culminated in him pooing on play room floor and dd eating it (shudder). So with some franny advice we've decided to put him back into nappies and wait for him to decide to give them up. Could be a long long wait but I really think he's just not ready. Interestingly today has been talking about wees a lot for the first time. Is very interested in idea of standing up and pointing willy for a wee but says he's just too small to try yet!

OP posts:

Doozle · 28/06/2009 20:51

Hi shoppingbag thanks for coming back and telling all.

This potty training is pretty stressful eh? Sounds like he is getting nearer if he's talking about it.

I've pondered about putting DD back into nappies too. But, interestingly today she told us for the first time ever that she needed a wee so think will stick with it for time being.

Biscuitstuffer, thanks, we got some choc buttons yesterday for wees and think has helped. We've got plastic tat lucky dip prizes for poos as she needed some serious persuading on that front! But that seems to be working too.

Ah, will be very glad to get through this phase, I tell you.

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