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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Odd comments from DD about Nursery.....a bit long

71 replies

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:05

Am I worrying too much about this?

DD is just 2 and started at the beginning of the months for 2 mornings at nursery looking to increase. She seemed to like it the first week but since then has seemed to get very negative indeed about it - and started crying a lot and asking not to go.
She is a very good talker and is quite articulate and is able to relay a lot about what she has done in the day. Problem is it is all very negative. I realise she is going to exaggerate certain things but she keeps saying the teachers say to her "SIT DOWN" (shouting it) and (CALM DOWN XXXXX). I dismissed this as I know how active she is and can get really worked up so I thought, well she will learn here maybe .

Today she said to me when she was crying the teacher said "BE QUIET" again in this shouty voice. She said she asked for her toy and they wouldn't give it to her. She keeps doing it and I am getting a bit concerned.
I got a good vibe from them and when I pick her up she is settled but they know what time I am going to arrive so..hmm. They say to me that she has "tears" but they are able to distract her. I know she gets quite upset from what they are saying. The taecher also said to me when they tidy up she doesn't know what to do. I felt like saying er yeah she is 2. I know this is a different experience and I want her to settle but I just don't like what I am hearing tbh.

Am I making too much of this? What do you think I should do?

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nancy75 · 23/01/2009 11:11

children can and do exagerate, my dd often tell me that she did "nothing AT ALL" at nursery despite having a fist full of paintings, it could also be that they speak to her more firmly than she is used to at home, and she may hear this as shouting iyswim?
tbh if i were you i would turn up early to collect her one day if you can,but dont warn in advance, say you forgot a doctors apointment or something and then you will see how they are if they are not expecting a parent.

saadia · 23/01/2009 11:16

It's difficult to know with kids isn't it, my ds1 who is 4 claimed last week that someone has squeezed his neck at playtime. I told the teacher, she took it very seriously, and then ds told me he had been joking.

In this situation though I would probably give dd the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes teachers do shout, when I volunteered to help out at the dss' nursery the teacher shouted a lot at the children, I thought unnecessarily but maybe she had to to keep control.

Hopefully someone will come along with ideas on how to handle it.

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:16

yes I think that is part of it nancy we don't raise our voice that much at home but I think to tell her to be quiet is a bit much.
I may turn up but they will bolxxxx me for it I know!

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 23/01/2009 11:18

No i don't think you are

if your DD is articulate enough to tell you then speak to the staff

do you have any concerns about the nursery in general?

nancy75 · 23/01/2009 11:20

who cares what they think of you turning up?

you are trusting them with your dd and if you feelnot quite right about the nursery then why shouldnt you just turn up.
like i said make up an excuse like you have to take her out 30mins early for the doctors, or you're dropping off her wellies. honestly you are not being ott.

Pannacotta · 23/01/2009 11:20

If you are really worried why not pitch up very early one time when the staff are not expecting you, or pop in unexpectedly saying you'd forgotten something and try and hover at the door and look in without being seen. This will give you more of an idea.

Kids do exaggerate but I would be a bit worried in your shoes too.
(DS1 also tells me he has done nothing all morning at nursery/playgroup when I know its not true, but in your case your DD's comments are more bit anxiety inducing.

jeee · 23/01/2009 11:21

I'd be a bit at them not liking you to turn up unexpectedly. We often turned up 1 or even 2 hours early for pick-up at my DCs nursery, and it was considered normal.

Pannacotta · 23/01/2009 11:23

sorry am too slow at typing...
Why on earth woudl they give you a hard time if you show up early/unannounced? You are paying for childcare, it is very important that you are happy with the care and that you are confident the staff are treating your DD well.
If they are good they have nothing to hide.

Wonderstuff · 23/01/2009 11:24

Why would they bolxxx you for it? My nursery they are happy for us to turn up whenever. I would talk through concerns with her keyworker, see how her version fits in.

Pannacotta · 23/01/2009 11:24

In fact I drop my DS off and pick him up at very odd times, you pay for the session not the hours, so they are used to people coming and going, as nuseries shoudl be...

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:24

Really?

Yes I have faith in what she is saying. She is telling me when she wakes up in the morning, like it is playing on her mind.

She is normally very social and relaxed.

Only other thing I thought weird was that I have to bring pull ups for her to change into - they obviously don't provide nappies there but that was never said to me just mentioned by an assistant who said when i arrived "she didn't have any pull-ups in her bag today". I don't know if this is the norm....

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 23/01/2009 11:26

Can she take her toy in with her so she doesn't have to ask for it?

Pannacotta · 23/01/2009 11:26

I think you need to listen to your DD and act on your concerns...
We provide nappies/toothpaste etc at my son's nursery, but they explain this when you start and give you a list of what to being in.
DId you not have any settling in sessions where they told you these kinds of things?

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:27

wow lots of response thank you all.

They said you can pick up your child early but you must let them know beforehand ie the morning to make it less disruptive. Right will do that on Mon - more geared up now.

OP posts:

Wonderstuff · 23/01/2009 11:27

We provide nappies and wipes, but that was made clear at the start, dd has a book where they fill in what she ate and when she had nappy change and what she played with, they use this to ask for more nappies and wipes when they run out. Did she have settling in sessions?

nappyaddict · 23/01/2009 11:28

CWE - most nurseries don't provide nappies anymore because different nappies often suit different kids. some are sensitive to pampers, some sensitive to huggies etc so it is easier if the parents just provide what they want.

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:28

yes she goes in with a Toy but I think they take it away at drinks and snack time. I just hope they return it to her when she asks as tat is the whole bloody point! From what she says they are not.

OP posts:

Wonderstuff · 23/01/2009 11:29

Seems odd them asking for notice, why would it be a problem? Unless they go out, sometimes our nursery go out for walks, and so if we turn up very early I guess there is a risk of dd not being on site, but even if we turn up half way through tea they aren't bothered.

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:30

No she didn't have a settling in session as such. They said it was better to let her settle without me aropund as she could get reliant on me being there.

I had a fully comprehensive session sitting down - she was there. They didn't tell me about the nappies though. But asked about food/allergies etc.I liked the place a lot tbh. It was reccomended to me..

OP posts:

CarGirl · 23/01/2009 11:32

Is this a pre-school nursery or a day care nursery?

At pre-schools they tend to not like sessions disrupted because they are so short.

Pannacotta · 23/01/2009 11:33

Mmm, not too keen on the sound of that, ie no settling in sessions.
Also find their attitude odd wrt letting them know about early pick up.
Does DD have a key worker there? Someone who esp looks after her, who you coudl talk to about your worried?

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:33

I don't mind at all about the nappies - that makes sense NA thanks.

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 23/01/2009 11:33

I wouldn't be happy about having to give notice to pick my DD up early on the odd occassion. I often arrive a few minutes early so that I can watch her play before she notices me, it's lovely.

Just turn up on Munday to put your mind at rest. It's not as though you are doing it every day. If anyone says anything tell them that it's a family emergency and tough - or tell them the truth, that DD has said a few things which have worried you.

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/01/2009 11:34

No is a nursery but the sessions are quite short, yes.

OP posts:

Pannacotta · 23/01/2009 11:34

Good point CarGirl, sounds more like a pre-school than nursery, is that right CWE?

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