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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nappy woes

23 replies

Chinchilla · 27/03/2003 11:33

Just need to let off steam I have just had a very trying time getting a nappy on ds. It has been gradually getting harder (he's 20 months) but today I got really cross, because he fought me. What is essentially a two minute job took ten minutes, and I very ashamed to say that I shouted at him very loudly. He then got all cuddly and tearful, but still wouldn't let me get the damn thing on. I eventually managed it, put him in his cot, and came on here for 10 minues to calm down. He is still in there screeching...

What do you all do when this happens. I can't let him go around with a nappy, and he is still too young to reason with. Now he is upset because Mummy is cross with him (I have kissed and cuddled him, but I think he knows I'm still cross) and I want to just go somewhere on my own

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Original poster

Chinchilla · 27/03/2003 11:33

Sorry, that should have been 'without' a nappy

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 27/03/2003 11:37

Um... I shout at DS2 and forcibly pin him down Sigh, I'm a fully paid up member of the Bad Mother Club.

Madie · 27/03/2003 12:22

Hmmm - my dd used to do this too. I think it tied in around when she started walking. She simply had better things to with her time than have her nappy changed ! I resorted to putting one of my legs over her torso (wasn't resting on her but kept her firmly inplace - oh and I did this on the floor). She wasn't impressed but she was fine afterwards.
I think I'll join SoupDragon in the Bad Mothers Club now

lucy123 · 27/03/2003 12:29

eeek 20 months! my dd has just started doing this at 10 months - i was hoping that she'd grow out of it soon.

Sometimes giving her a toy works - especially if it is something that she doesn't normally have like a plastic bag. Other times I get a bit wound up and/or pin her down. Refuse resolutely to join the bad mother club for this one though and Soupdragan and Madie - you should be expelled!

SoupDragon · 27/03/2003 12:35

Feet either side of the toddler's body, pinning down the shoulders works well too. Call the NSPCC!

Failing that, I use pull ups when I know the change is going to be tricky eg, um, anywhere public really! After swimming being the main one and, more recently, in the plane.

Madie · 27/03/2003 13:06

Although PullUps, I found were of ltd use if DD then did a No2

Still - at least you won't have this particular prob when they are potty trained.

LizC · 27/03/2003 13:11

My dd started this one once she was rolling a lot - must have been about 6 or 7 months. This was probably the first time I had to start telling her 'no' and I did try to physically stop her rolling off the changing mat, but even if you refuse to let go of their legs they still manage it, don't they, even at that age! I'm afraid I did get quite cross, shouted at her and plonked her back on the changing mat quickly, which really upset her and we had mini tantrums (even more of a bad mother at only 6 or 7 months)! It has worked though, as she hardly ever does it now (she's 11 months now). I do always give her a toy to play with on the changing mat and she does sometimes deliberately throw it away so that she can twist or try and roll to get it, but when she does this I kind of growl at her and she usually just grabs the toy quickly and flips back on her back. It must be easier though to nip this in the bud when they start doing it younger as it's easier to physically stop them rolling or crawling away (she's not walking yet).

Philippat · 27/03/2003 13:58

Poor you Chinchilla, dd used to do this all the time to the extent that she once threw herself off the changing table when dh was changing her (we now do it on the floor!). We became experts at changing her nappy while she was standing up.

She's 18 months now but has recently become much more helpful about it all. I've started trying to give her lots of notice 'let's go upstairs and change your nappy' 'let's change you nappy now' 'will you get out a new nappy for me?' 'will you hold the wipes for me' 'please lie down so I can change your nappy'. Most of these said about 10 times. I feel like a very boring sports commentator but by some miracle it seems to work. She'll even unfold the changing mat and put it down for me now so she obviously understands me and I guess likes helping.

Course, if she's in a stroppy mood, I go with the leg trapping method too!

winnie1 · 27/03/2003 14:12

Soupdragon, your posting made me smile... pinning my son down is the only way I can actually clean his teeth and as for shouting...

Did anyone else hear Woman's Hour this morning? The argument was 'is shouting as bad as smacking?' and apparently shouting at your child is extremely psychologically damaging...!

Ho hum, another stick to beat myself with!

Chinchilla, wish I had something constructive to advise but having tried all manner of distraction tactics etc my son is 2.5 yr and when he decides he's not cooperating there is very little I can do to encourage him. Walking away and trying again in a while can help me (but doesn't always work) and anyway sometimes we just haven't got all day. You have my sympathy!

Crunchie · 27/03/2003 14:24

Well I gave up and bought those easy-up pants by pampers. They are not the same as pull-ups, because they are as absorbant as a nappy, and you just tear the sides if it's a No2. They have a tape so you can secure them too. I found these worked much better as they are like pants, and we even started using them when she wanted to 'copy' her sister on the potty. Now she's potty trained, I still used these at night, and if she remembers she can use the ptty. Could try them, it stopped all the rows and pinning down children in our house

SoupDragon · 27/03/2003 15:00

The Pampers ones are what I used too.

And Winnie1, how bad must shouting at your child whilst pinning them to the floor with your feet be? Oh lordy! I'm going to have to pay for a lot of therapy for my children when they grow up

GeorginaA · 27/03/2003 15:14

SoupDragon - I started a therapy fund for my ds a while ago now... I figured it was his choice when he was 18 whether he used it for its intended purpose, or squandered it on college/university instead

winnie1 · 27/03/2003 16:50

A therapy fund seems like an excellent idea!

Original poster

Chinchilla · 27/03/2003 22:51

You all think that you are bad mothers. Well, what about me? For the last few nights, ds has been waking up in the early hours, crying. We have consoled him, and then left him to fall back to sleep alone. I assumed that it was nightmares. HV said 2.5 years was the usual time for those, but I just thought that he was 'advanced' in that way. Anyway, it occured to me today that he might have been getting his last two teeth, so I checked, and there they were! If only I had realised these last few nights, I might have been able to ease his pain, and get some sleep into the bargain

Thanks for your nappy repies. I feel a bit better now for wrestling with him.

OP posts:

judetheobscure · 28/03/2003 22:54

Wrestle away - that's what I do. Ds3 is 18 months and sometimes requires pinning down.

winnie1 - did the experts have any children of their own? or perhaps have some marvellous new method of ensuring good behaviour?

jodee · 29/03/2003 21:24

What about having a few books handy that he can flick through? That usually worked with ds - but otherwise - wrestling!!

Original poster

Chinchilla · 30/03/2003 12:19

Have managed to sometimes stop the wriggling with a toy. Yesterday saw me pinning ds's legs down while a naked dh (came from shower when he heard my shouting!) was holding his arms. It would have looked funny to any observer, but ds was not amused!

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NQWWW · 31/03/2003 11:41

My ds (aged 2) has started squirming, protesting, rolling and kicking me while I'm trying to change him - often right in my pregnant belly - and it has been driving me mad. As well as giving him a toy to distract him, I have found that getting him involved in singing a favourite song can work sometimes.

jamesbusymum · 28/03/2006 17:26

I am so glad that I am not going round the twist about this nappy business on my own!

I am trying the naughty step in 1 min intervals, but last night ds was up to about 7 mins so I gave in and had to hold a very disgruntled boy down in the end!

Someone needs to invent a little machine that they can sit in so that they don't notice it happening!

jmum6 · 28/03/2006 17:32

Was a nappy thread similar to this yesterday I think and there was a link to this fantastics changing mat thing where you strapped the little buggers down!!

My cheques in the post already :O

jmum6 · 28/03/2006 17:33

Oops i mean :o

zebrabra · 28/03/2006 18:12

Shower him down if dirty, otherwise change standing up.
Sit him on my lap (his back to my front) to get nappy on.

wowy · 30/03/2006 19:29

my ds is 17 months and i just plonk him down and grab the legs!! hehe

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