What do you expect a 4,5yo to be able to do?

[Dillydaydreamer]

I'm starting to think my expectations are unreasonable
Know to put rubbish from snack in the bin without being told?
Take own coat and shoes off and on?
Find something to play with or choose from 3-4 options?
Is this beyond most 4.5yo capabilities?

Well my ds2 is 5 and he has never once put litter in the bin without being prompted (altho at school, he wouldn't dream of leaving it on the floor, funny that)

Coat and shoes, def off, usually on depending on mood. Again, no problems at school (I'm sensing a pattern here)

playing...no problems there when I can finally drag him away from Cbeebies.

Are you having problems?

5.1 yr old needs reminding to use bin still

Has been doing her own shoes and coat for some time now

Could play independently at that age

Rubbish in the bin? I wish my 10 year old would do that unprompted! Come to that I wish my DH would.

Ds does put rubbish in the bin but that's because he thinks he's a bin man

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect those things at 4.5 but can see that with most children that age there might be some resistance still/ it might require some encouragement especially on a bad day.

My 2 yr old DD puts rubbish in the bin!

My 4 yr old DD dresses herself,lays the table,puts things in the bowl ready to wash.Helps her little sister on the toilet and lifts her out of her cot.

IME girls seem more willing to help and get independant.Well at least IME my DS (12) doesn't do much!!

2yo puts rubbish in the bin without being reminded, 6yo used to but now has to be reminded.
take off own coat and shoes - yes, and put away in cupboard, but needs reminding to take them off.
Find something to play with - yes.

My dd age 4 will do all of these things but her 7 year old brother even gets her to put his socks on for him!

She is always the one to find things he has lost/can't see as well.

my 4 year old does all those things, reminders for rubbish sometimes (as does 2 year old, sorry! they are girls if that makes a difference?!)

sorry its taken so long to get back to you and thanks for your thoughts. I'm glad I'm not expecting too much by the sound of it.
My 3yo dd does all these things, so I wondered why my 4.5yo mindee (boy) didn't seem to have any initiative. I have only had girls before so wasn't sure about boys at this age. I will just keep reminding . Hopefully he will get the idea soon. He is having to adjust to being the eldest child from being an only child and having an au pair to himself.

ds is 4.2 and has trouble doing any of these without constant reminding/nagging.

From reading your posts it does seem to be a gender thing LOL. The girls do seem to be more independent.