Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Utter refusal to change nappy/get changed

18 replies

CRYLLA · 30/03/2005 22:57

Over the last few weeks my 10 month old has become increasingly tearful when trying to change his nappy or get him changed. As soon as he is put down he rolls over and wants away. I have tried occupying him with toys and my husband has tried holding him down but he is very strong. He get so upset and tearful as though he is frightened? Trying to change him is becoming so stressful i now end up in tears.it is roughtly taking a good hour an hour t change him. I have tried pull ups also picking him up and holding him until he calms down but he ressumes as soon as he is put down.
I dont know what else to do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

debs26 · 30/03/2005 23:00

ok, i am about to reveal myself as a terrible mother. get stuff ready, lie baby on floor on his back. hold down his legs and arms gently with your legs, do nappy v quickly, give baby big cuddle to make it all better. might sound awful but it works

colditzmum · 30/03/2005 23:02

Just do it, by taking so long to change his nappy it prolongs the "agony" for him. He's not frightened he is cross. Try putting your leg over him while you change his nappy, that should hold him still for a bit. My ds did this, it got markedly worse around other children (and therefore mothers!) and he grew out of it very quickly.

Hope that he;ps, good luck.

bethski · 30/03/2005 23:03

Ours went through the same thing - dh used to pin him down (he seemed able to ignore the frantic screaming - I was not so strong-willed). For a while, I changed to pull-ups and then went back to Active Fits when he wasn't so intent on legging it. Does he have nappy rash or anything that might be hurting - my ds is very agitated at times when it comes to changing time and then I notice that he's got a sore bum. Sorry can't be of more help - dh was better with this phase than me as he has more of a "no nonsense" approach.

pupuce · 30/03/2005 23:06

I agree - do it very quickly... and that may mean be physically strong.
Bear in mind that your tears do nothing to reassure him either.
I would suggest speaking to him like so:
Now I need to change your nappy as you have done a poo
Come on we need to do it quickly and then we can play again
It's all fine mum will do it quickly
There is nothing wrong, mummy loves you, you are such a good boy
etc

pupuce · 30/03/2005 23:07

I shoudl add I have seen this as a postnatal doual... interstingly the babies do not put up a fight with me as I am "different" from their mummy. Unless there is a physical reason (pain) for this, I think it's a behavioural issue... to change his behaviour you must change yours.

pupuce · 30/03/2005 23:08

postnatal doula

Prufrock · 31/03/2005 09:05

My 11month old is doing this as wel crylla - I think they just enjoy moving so don't like to be stopped from that. Ds's trick is to rollover and stare at the pictures on his mat. I tend to be cruel to get it over with as well - you can actually be quite firm physically without hurting them. (Please nobody take this the wrong way - I don't hurt my boy) I just use my left shoulder/arm to lean onto him (on a raised mat), use left hand to pick up his legs by the ankles and right hand for wiping/new nappy. No arguments an usually all done in the space of a minute - as soon as I let him go and put him on the floor he rolls around and stops yelling.
The crying is frustration, not fear, and by pandering to him you are simply prolonging the frustration.

throckenholt · 31/03/2005 09:10

have you got a changing table - I found mine did this on the floor but not on the table - maybe they were afraid of falling off ?

Definitely it is a stage they go through. Try making funny faces or singing in a silly voice - anything to distract and then get it done quickly.

lunavix · 31/03/2005 09:11

My 11 month old is exactly the same - I bribe him with food (or juice or milk depending on time of day!) and pin his legs down with mine...

He SCREAMS as well, and full on wails. Hate to think what the neighbours think of me!

Waswondering · 31/03/2005 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Newbarnsleygirl · 31/03/2005 09:17

I have for a very long time now used Easy up nappies for my dd. She would never stay lying down and the mess it made, well I'm sure you can imagine!

It so easy now, she stands up holding on to something like the sofa and she'll watch tv or look at a book and I can get on with it and there's no fuss.

tarantula · 31/03/2005 09:25

dd was like that too but is getting better now. She still hates having to lie on her back to get changed. I just did it as quick as poss making sure everything was ready before hand. I also used to lay her on my lap and change her there asshe didnt seem to wiggle as much.

Rockydog · 31/03/2005 13:08

I am having exactly the same problem - except my dd is nearly 21 months and very very strong (well over 2year old size) and will not lie down under any circumstances to be changed. We have used easy up nappies for a long while now and these are fine unless its a poo nappy as then its a battle to get her to keep still long enough to clean her. She has developed a tactic of 'jelly-legs' whereby she realises that you NEED her to stand up and then promptly decides to sit down - and goes all dead weight on you, whilst laughing! trying to reason with her results in more hilarity! its so frustrating - can't wait to start potty training so we can get past this stage! - although that will probably be just as messy!

colditzmum · 31/03/2005 13:10

I hate that jelly-legs trick, it's so sneaky and clever of them!

pixel · 31/03/2005 21:05

My ds still does this and after many struggles and having to get other people to help I have perfected the art of changing him! As others have said the main thing is to be quick. Your main priority is to wipe away anything that's gone up his back because this will make the most mess if he is trying to wriggle away. Once you've done this the trick is to have him lying on the floor and then trap ONE of his legs between your knees. This will stop him flipping over to try and crawl away or pushing his legs against you just as you are about to fasten the nappy. As he still has one leg free it makes it easy to clean him up and get the new nappy positioned. He'll still complain I expect but if you ignore him and just carry on it will only be for a minute.

Btw my ds is nearly 5 (still in nappies due to autism and bowel condition) and is very strong but it still works on him at the moment.

vicdubya · 31/03/2005 21:26

Ds used to be a dreamt o change but gradually getting less & less keen.

At teh moment I bribe him by singing the Postman Pat theme tune or a really normally out of bounds object like a mobile phone.

Haven't had to do the Postman Pat tune ina public changing room yet

Just don;t stress it, he's juts cross at having to do something he would ratehr not be doing.

But nappies have to be changed!

vicdubya · 31/03/2005 21:27

Sorry about the typos - forgot to preview

californiagirl · 31/03/2005 23:14

Our Dr. recommends sticking stickers to their hands as a distraction. I do provide a toy, but mostly the firm-fast-unwavering approach (eventually) works. She now pretty much subsides once you get her pinned to the floor. I use the leg-over-the-chest approach, which she seems to find soothing. Admittedly, if she's in a rolling over mood it can take quite a bit of force, but it doesn't appear to hurt her.

Flip