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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

ds1 nearly 3. Help needed with discipline. He won't walk with me when out....

15 replies

DianeXX · 30/03/2005 18:19

I have a double buggy for ds1 and ds2 ages 19 and 35 months. I would like ds1 to walk when out shopping and other places. He just does not walk with me. He is immensely strong, I am pregnant and so not want a physical tussle with him every time he tries to pull away or run off. He needs more exercise, but I am worried about taking him out of the buggy in case he runs off, runs into the road and generally misbehaves. With him strapped in my life is easier, but he is starting to look too old in the buggy.

I have obviously gone wrong somewhere along the line and feel a bit sad when I see little lads walking along with their Mums holding hands. Why can't my son do that? Where did I go wrong? How can I get him to walk holding my hand or holding on to his brother's single buggy? We'd be able to do so much more, and it enjoy it so much more if he could walk everywhere and stay with me!! Ideas?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

elliedragon · 30/03/2005 18:23

Why not start with a buggy board. You can then keep him contained when on a busy road/somewhere dangerous if he wants to run off, until he is used to the freedom and rules of the road.

Original poster

DianeXX · 30/03/2005 18:27

I had a nasty experience with a buggy board. ds1 jumped off it into the middle of a busy road and wouldn't get up. Scared the life out of me. I had to drag him out of the road and we ended up in casualty as he had a pulled arm. I am not a fan of buggy boards and we have not had it out since!! Once bitten, twice shy...

OP posts:

misdee · 30/03/2005 18:29

reins!! i put them on dd2, walk holding her hand with the reins also in my hand. so if she slips my grip and runs off i still have hold of her.

elliedragon · 30/03/2005 18:30

Completely understandable you dont like buggy boards, poor you. I think you maybe need to take him to a few quiet places and practice. If you are expecting another baby you need him to be able to walk before the other needs to go in a pushchair. Sorry not much help.

Original poster

DianeXX · 30/03/2005 18:34

misdee - i think my little lad has got the better of me. I have tried reins and he just throws himself to the floor and will not get up. Doesn't look good Mum out with toddler dragging him along the ground! He ends up back in the buggy. I am going to try ds2 with them and see if I have better luck!

I am 6 months pregnant and need to have at least one kid capable of walking. I have even found myself looking at triple buggies! Surely not?

OP posts:

kid · 30/03/2005 18:35

I think the only thing you can try is going somewhere very local and letting him prove to you that he can do it. My DS (nearly 3) is a complete nightmare when I take him out, I have just recently started to trust him to walk with me. I let him know what I want him to do in advance. He knows where he has to stop and he knows its very important to hold on to the buggy when I tell him to.

LIZS · 30/03/2005 18:36

If he can't / won't walk nicely then stick to the buggy and stuff those who think he is too big to be in there. btw dd is 3 1/2 and still doesn't walk everywhere when we shop although I can understand you want to resolve this before the new baby comes.

Could you try short walks in a safe environment like a park where there is no traffic to worry about and give him loads of fuss (stickers ?) for walking close at hand, keeping him in conversation so that he is less easily distracted.

If you can take dh/dp with you so you are not singlehanded if he does run off you could start to go to busier places and gradually build up your own and his confidence and trust.

Good luck

WigWamBam · 30/03/2005 18:41

If he won't have reins, do you think he would be better with a wrist link?

Original poster

DianeXX · 30/03/2005 18:49

WWB - to be honest, I think I have left it too late for the wrist band. I should have persevered when he was just walking - with reins/wrist band, so he didn't know any different. He does walk on his own in the park when dh is with me (dh running after him ), so to him it would be a big step backwards. Oh dear - I don't help myself do I?

OP posts:

misdee · 30/03/2005 18:57

TELL HIM he has to walk nicely as he is now a big boy. if he wont wqalk nicely holding onto the buggy then he will have to have the reins/wrist link put on and people will think he is a baby. might work.

Tommy · 30/03/2005 19:08

I started again with the wrist band - a new one bought especially after I lost DS1 (aged just 3) in Asda a couple of weeks ago. An absolute nightmare and the longest 5 minutes of my life. It really scared him (and me obviously). Hasn't quite learned his lesson though as today I had to drag him by the wrist strap through a shopping centre he was lying on the floor and I just pulled him behind me .
I know how your feel DianeXX and I have just tried various mthods. Reins tied on to pushchair handle while he is on buggy board, wrist strap etc. Sometimes he's OK and sometimes he's not. To be fair, I think he's more interested in looking in windows and trying not to walk on cracks etc than doing what I want. Shopping etc must be a bit dull if you're 3!
Also, I'm sure the other Mums you see are thinking "Thank god mine is behaving himself...today" and are just feeling sorry for you and not judging you at all! (I would anyway )

MaryP0p1 · 30/03/2005 19:08

Diane my dd and most other children I have cared for have walked beautifully next to me as required. DS (now 3) is a pain in the but where this is concerned. I found the only solution to be was reins. This was at 2.5. He hated them and I told him until he was a big boy and would walk properly next to me he would wear them. 2 days later he did as was asked. I still keep them in my bag for the occasional bad day (which happens when he's tired) but the problem is much less of one now.

lljkk · 30/03/2005 19:40

Don't know how you keep an uncooperative child on a buggy board, or "make" them walk with reins (mine did pavement tantrums instead). Afraid I just had to keep him in the buggy until he was over 4, DianeXX. You can get triple 3-wheeler buggies, now!!

tigi · 30/03/2005 20:05

I have 3 children and think that they have all had a defective gene that stops them walking nicely next to me/holding hand/buggy whatever! It seems every other mother at school has children that walk dutifully with them, but not mine! I always wonderered how they made their children do that! I long ago gave up feeling embaressed, and now holla like a fish wife when they go missing in opposite directions in the playground! I used have reins, but they are too old now! The only consolation i can offer is the the older one (10) is now beautifully behaved, so they do come right in the end!

mummytummy · 30/03/2005 20:10

I am really untrusting of DD1 (2.11) because she once hid under a clothes rail in M&S and I thought I'd lost her. She has the choice of the double buggy or the wrist strap. I didn't use reigns, but she is ok with the wrist strap.

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