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Original poster

Right, am sick to death of this-no-one's else child does it-hair brushing

78 replies

Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:22

Dd is driving me stir crazy! Yes, we have fine hair in our family, and it is wavy and generally a PITA, but the minute I go near her with a hairbrush she is HYSTERICAL. I use tons of conditioner at night, and make sure it is tangle free and dry at bedtime (two hours of fuss but makes the mornings a little easier), and I have chased her out of the house in the morning wielding a hairbrush before now as she refused to have her hair brushed (it always gets done eventually-have pinned her in the school toilets before now!). Most girls I know will not only let their mums brush their hair, but will let them put bobbles in, and clips! Am sick of dd looking like an urchin-she looks beautiful at bedtime, but come the next morning all hell breaks loose. I want her to have it up all the time to make her life easier and mine, but how do I even broach getting any kind of "head time" with her?

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Poledra · 05/01/2009 23:26

Does she have long hair? Dare I suggest cutting it? A friend of mine found it the only way to deal with her younger DD's hair-brushing-phobia. She (the DD) has a pageboy cut and looks beautiful (she's 5).

Mamazon · 05/01/2009 23:27

your not alone. mine is a nightmare too.

UnfortunatelyMe · 05/01/2009 23:29

My dd has really long fully curly hair, ringlets. Looks stunning down - Bi annually, if at all.
The rest of the time it is in plaits down each side, I can leave these for 2-3 days, if done wet and with kiddies(avon) hair gel in. Tell her if she puts up with you doing it that night she will have 1/2 nights free.

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:29

Aah, have dragged her to the hairdressers three times now, and she got so upset the hairdresser wouldn't touch her for fear of wounding her! Had to miss my cut too . Why oh why do I have a child that is so bloody oversensitive to this-she isn't that bad with other stuff-I could leave her with anyone (hmm, maybe that is the key-pay someone else to do it!)

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wrinklytum · 05/01/2009 23:30

I can relate to this.DD has SN and is especially sensitive to hairbrushing.She screams the house down and we get hysterical sobbing if bobbles/clips are involved.Tonight someone on here had recccomended a product called a tangle-teaser I think.Apparently Boots sell them and many people have said they are good....

pasturesnew · 05/01/2009 23:31

I have v v fine straight hair. When I was little I remember it really hurting when my mum brushed it so I learned to do it myself as soon as I could. You are doing the right thing putting loads of conditioner in. I would also suggest putting it in a low ponytail plait at bedtime, bobble at the bottom only, as I find that this will unplait without too much tangling in the morning and reduces nighttime static. When you do brush it, try firmly pressing your hand down flat at the top of the hair you are brushing or holding it like a ponytail and then brushing down from that so it is not pulling against her head. That works for me. Even now I have to tell the hairdresser not to bother with a head massage as this scrunches it up so badly when washing, it takes them ages to detangle and it still hurts, I hate it when they say it's OK and "massage" it anyway! Hope this helps.

brimfull · 05/01/2009 23:31

my dd was like this when young...nightmare
I had her hair cut into short bob until she was old enough to either do it herself or let me do it..think she grew it at about 11yrs old

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:33

Oooh Unfortunately-like that! The plan tomorrow is get her up early, stick her in front of the telly comatose (she isn't allowed morning tv), and give it a shot with a conditioner/water solution. If you give her hair the slightest tug she goes nuts though, so it is really hard to get plaits neat (I have to brush the ends first by holding hair halfway down, then the underneath ends the same way with a kind if hitting the hair instead of brushing motion, and then try for the roots, am hyperventilating just thinking of it!!)

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brimfull · 05/01/2009 23:34

lol at you hyperventilating

show her a pic of a nice bob
bribe her to get it cut

NCBirdy · 05/01/2009 23:36

My dd was like this and it was awful, eventually, after several cuts, the wave went from her hair and it is much better now. (I know that doesn't help you though!)

Can I suggest you start washing it in the mornings? I know it is a PITA but at least then she would go to school with it nice. If you are lucky, after a while of doing it, she would opt to have it brushed in the morning rather than having to have it washed?

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:36

Oooh you are lovelies-dd desperately needs a haircut as the bottom is so flyaway-am tempted to do it as she sleeps as she just freaks at the sight of a hairdressers. We have a tangle teaser and they are good, and also a tangle tamer (a denman version). She does brush her own but only her fringe (which she lets me trim bi-annually, so it starts life 2cm long ) and roots, so she has dreadlocks at the back . Am so glad you all have probs too-all the other little girls is her class have such elaborate do's, I want to do some!!!

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mistlethrush · 05/01/2009 23:39

My mother did my hair in the morning with a brush and a pair of scissors - and I had it very short.

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:40

Oh ggirl-hyperventilating doesn't even come close-my head is between my knees as I type, and am rubbing my back with my non-typing hand! I think bribery is the key-it managed to beat the getting dressed battle (damn you non-uniform school!) so here we go with her hair. I have a credit crunch beating bribe-if you do as I asked you will not get shouted at (Am not at my best at 7am)!

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Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:41

Oh mistlethrush-that IS a good plan-she will get blinded at some point though!

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Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:41

Oh mistlethrush-that IS a good plan-she will get blinded at some point though!

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NCBirdy · 05/01/2009 23:42

The elaborate dos are more trouble than they are worth

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN · 05/01/2009 23:43

how old is she?

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:43

Have been looking at the how to's on you tube (which prompted this mis-directed irrational anger towards my child's head!) and god some people do weird things to their 2 year old's head!

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mistlethrush · 05/01/2009 23:43

I survived with both eyes intact!!! My hair is not fine - its coarse but very thick and curly.

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:44

She's 5 in March-all her friends are starting to want to look like girls/princesses etc, as does she, but with really grim hair! The two year old BOY next door cares more about his 'do!

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IAmTheNewQueenOfMN · 05/01/2009 23:45

aaawww bless her

I think you need to go heavy on the bribery to be honest.
Good Luck

brimfull · 05/01/2009 23:45

I really do sympathise ,I was so disappointed my dd was like this.I felt so cheated out of all the lovely dressing up and lovely hair that others do with their dd's.
DD also hate dresses and skirts and hated anything I chose for her.
Thankfully now as a teenager we love shopping together and she even asks my opinion...and her hair is long and beautiful.

what about a hairdresser at home and a big bag of sweets

nickschick · 05/01/2009 23:47

my ds was petrified of having his hair cut he was at least 7 before a very kind lady from school suggested leaving him with her in her shop for a bit whilst i went to the newsagents - she was so patient with him once a salon even had to lock the doors and draw the blinds he created so badly.

dare i say its a phase??

Original poster
Pawslikepaddington · 05/01/2009 23:50

Do they still do mobile hairdressers? That is such a good idea ggirl!! Mum would never do my hair as a child (70's/80's power woman, so it was an extra bit of time that could be filofaxed!), so I was DESPERATE to get my claws into dd's hair. She is into dresses finally, after 4 1/2 years of jeans and wellies, but now will only wear summer dresses and party shoes (hence the heavy clothes bribery). I know it sounds awful ggirl but I am so glad you have been through the utter hysterics of it-we have had neighbours turn up before asking if she was ok, and hairdressers have asked me to leave as we were disturbing other clients, but it is just how she is, and I would worry if she just sat down and let me do her hair one day!

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whomovedmychocolate · 05/01/2009 23:50

DD is the same and her's, like mine is really thick so it needs a good brushing every day.

I found that if you hold the base of the hair shafts as you brush there is no chance of pulling and they calm down - eventually.

I can't get DD to have hers tied back though at all!