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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 2.5 year old, seems to be addicted to milk

20 replies

alfiemama · 12/12/2008 20:47

My 2.5 yr old, has become addicted to milk, to get him to have a nap in the afternoon he has some milk, to get him to sleep he has milk, but he is waking up about 3-4 times in the night and wont go to bed without it, we have tried water to no avail, tried half and half, even tried ignoring him, but nothing works.

Me and dh are at our wits end, dont know how to get him off it, tried to up his food but he still wants his milk.

I dont want to drop his nap in the afternoon as he has a heart prob and gets tired more easily.

Any ideas, we seem to be up and down all night with him

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reindeersnake · 12/12/2008 21:35

No helpful ideas, I'm afraid - the same problem with dd aged 2.4. Interested to see what others have to say.

noonki · 12/12/2008 21:43

does he has it in a bottle?

If so it is probably the bottle and not the milk he wants.

I am going through the painful process of weaning DS2 (18 months off a bottle). I thought I would wait as I did with DS1 til he was 3 but was given a stern talking to by a speech therapist and nurse yesterday. Who explained how bottles can cause glue ear/lisps/ear infections/delayed speech etc

and as DS1 suffered a burst eardrum and has a lisp I am racked with guilt.

BUT saying that we are on day 2 of no bottle at nap/bed time and though it has been hard he is eating loads more.

Can you get him to sleep any other way for the nap? (car etc)

noonki · 12/12/2008 21:45

Also with DS1 at that age he did a similar thing ...

we just had lots of chats for a few days saying that there would be no bottles till the morning (you could use new year as a day for it to stop..we used easter and it worked a treat...the easter bunny swapped his nighttime bottle for an easter egg ...pure bribery but it worked!

Original poster

alfiemama · 12/12/2008 22:10

Hi Noonki

No he doesnt have a bottle, has a cup and he never had a dummy, well he did for about 2 weeks but never took to it.

ps dont feel guilty, you sound like a fab mummy.

Reindeer I am sure we are not alone lol, little monkeys,

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noonki · 12/12/2008 22:25

Thanks!

If I were you I would keep the milk for the daytime nap, but at night time just say NO!

If you give him a few days warning that nighttime milk will no longer happen, start giving him is just before bed milk downstairs (to break the sleep associatione) and then just be tough (it is hard I know)

When he wakes up in the night go to him and say it's bedtime give him a cuddle, and put him back in bed, when he askes for milk, say milk is for breakfast time and then repeat (ime again and again and again!) stay calm and boring.

Then in the morning, no matter the fuss he caused at night congratulate him on being a big boy/ or give him stickers/whatever makes him proud of himself.

But you both have to agree to it otherwise in the middle of the night one of you will give in and you will be doing it when he is four (as mu poor sis discovered)

he will proabbly get very cross for a night or three but then will realise that no milk means no milk and start going to sleep alone.

...and nothing more until he gets the message

noonki · 12/12/2008 22:25

ps good luck!

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 12/12/2008 22:25

my ds is 2.1 and always wants milk. To the point eh gets it out of the fridge.

Original poster

alfiemama · 12/12/2008 22:31

I know your prob right Noonki, we did try it once, but other ds who has suspected asd gets so upset when he hears his brother screaming, its horrible, keeps screaming putting his hands over his ears (asd son).

During the day and bedtime im ok with him having his milk, but when hes waking 3-4 times and demanding milk before he goes back to sleep, then its not funny.

He defo has a sleep association with milk, as when I say are you having a nap, he says yes and asks for milk.

Shelley, thats funny, luckily ds cant get into the fridge yet.

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shelleyloukissessantaselves · 12/12/2008 23:50

ye luckily he only wants milk during the day. has some before he goes bed but doesnt wake in the night for it.

christmasiana · 12/12/2008 23:58

mine is nearly 3 and is exactly the same in her longing for milk during night, after lunch, in morning.

i can't think how she's ever going to be nappy trained during night.

i think she would give it up if i gave her a dummy as she saw someone with a dummy and was fascinated and is asking for one. but she is 3 so no way!

noonki how long was he up during the night before he 'learnt' to go through without milk? i would really love DD to eat better too.

it took 3 bottles (well beaker tops0 to get her to sleep tonight. one with story. one before bed. one (very diluted) after an hour of not sleeping.

onwardandmerrilyupward · 13/12/2008 10:03

I wouldnt be surprised if they simply needed lots of calcium. Many children in the world are still drinking a lot of breastmilk at this age, and of course that's got lots of calcium in, in a v. digestible form.

personally I'd give milk whenever asked for and find other ways of upping the calcium content of the diet to see if the need for milk subsides.

hashim · 13/12/2008 10:26

Hi,

I'm really interested in this. My daughter is completely attached to her bottle and milk. Has it for naps in the day time and at night. She is 15 months old. At what age should I stop giving her a bottle? She's never really had a dummy - apart from a couple of weeks when she was little.

I've tried to give it up during the day, but she just screams bot bot bot bot, until I give in.

I can still see her having it at 3. I don't know what to do - any advice?

MavisGrind · 13/12/2008 10:31

I too am interested in the responses to this - I have a 2.6 ds who would live purely on milk if given half the chance. He's never had a bottle and is a particularly rubbish eater so have been scaling down the amount of milk he has in order to try and get him to eat better.

Sorry, no advice - just to say you're not alone!

Original poster

alfiemama · 13/12/2008 11:48

Sorry this isnt prob what any of you want to hear, but Im soooo glad im not on my own

Last night was horrendous, up 5 times and in the morning he was soaking, like Christmasiana said god knows how he will ever be dry. The odd thing is ds1 hates milk has a complete aversion to it.

Good idea about the calcium, he does love his dairy products, so will try and up them and see if that works, I wish I could go back to basics and try him with porridge at night but he hates it, I wonder if a yoghurt for his supper would work, I may try that tonight and let you all know,

thanks ladies

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reindeersnake · 13/12/2008 18:42

Have tried yogurt and porridge - didn't work. Some days dd eats practically nothing. So far today: two breadsticks, one bite of chocolate, two bites of rice and a handful (hers) of cold pasta. I do make her food!

She is putting on weight, though, so it must come mainly from milk. Soaking every morning; very heavy on washing. She does like fruit and salami, so it seems basically balanced, with the odd day when she goes mad for green beans or cabbage.

I think I'm just saying all this in the hope of reassurance it's not just because I am a bad mother that she eats like this.

suwoodolf · 13/12/2008 18:49

My Ds (two today ) is like this. He also has up to 4 bottles (although not full ones) in the night. He barely eats any food either. I am not even trying to stop him having milk as there eould be no sleep for anyone. I am not stressing about it as I feel there is little point. He will stop when he is ready.

Original poster

alfiemama · 13/12/2008 20:17

Ok, went to bed, gave him a yoghurt, but not worked, had 2 cups of milk already

Suwoodolf I was the same as you, and didnt worry about it, until it started affecting our sleep. My other ds has major eating probs and will only eat beige food we think due to autistic traits, so didnt want to fuss with this ds and wanted to be relaxed as poss with food.

Reindeersnake the best reassurance test is this, very simple, one day but all the food your dd eats in a carrier bag and twist the end and hold it up to your dd tummy, you will see it actually is a lot compared to the size of the dd tummy.

The only reason I am worried is because we are up and down all night and cant see him being dry at night for a long time.

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Original poster

alfiemama · 13/12/2008 20:18

ps happy birthday little wolf

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benandoli · 13/12/2008 21:07

I have two boys 3 and 6 and a little girl 8 weeks. Both boys have loved their bottles / milk and have never had a dummy. I stressed about it with the first child and was much more relaxed with the second. Both boys grew out of wanting the bottle when 3 and wanted to be 'big boys'. Both have wonderful speech and are not overweight and now eat varied diets (fav food is fish pie)! Try not to stress and it will sort itself out and remember you are giving him milk not poison you are not a bad mother!!!

Original poster

alfiemama · 13/12/2008 21:31

Hi Benandoli, Im not bothered about the milk, quite like it as other ds has a real aversion to it, its just he wakes up for it and will only go back to sleep once he has it,starting to get silly with it tho now.

Im wondering if he's getting that buzz from the chemical in milk lol

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