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Original poster

My HV has made me furious about using a baby sling!

75 replies

tenacityflux · 27/11/2008 11:11

My DD is coming up to 8 weeks and has been suffering from reflux, just diagnosed, and has been and will no doubt continue being a very wakeful and lively baby - I have had a sling from day one and find it's great - it keeps her calm and if she won't sleep, put her in it and she's asleep in 20 mins, and as I'm in a first floor flat, so much easier when going out - and on public transport. However, my HV has got a real bee in her bonnet about slings, she keeps having a go at me that if I don't make her go to sleep on her own, she never will; totally ignoring that fact that it's been the reflux making her cry and wake - she keeps trying to make me leave her to cry herself out, and says 'Of course she likes sleeping in the sling,it's nice!' as if doing something nice for your baby is wrong. I am still sleep deprived and a bit pnd, so she's reduced me to tears before now about it - but I have found a website with advice for parents of colicky and reflux babies, and they actually recommend baby wearing for a minimum of 3 hours a day to help with both conditions as close contact helps to regulate a babies bio-rhythms; and have since heard that Midwives and HV's in Brighton actually recommend slings and advise against prams until babies are 4 months. My DD will happily play in her bed for an hour in the early morning, and will go back into bed at night without the sling - so I think she will be fine and that I am doing the right thing for my daughter - I am sick of the HV and her atitude! Once my DD is older, then we can start carrying her less, but by then her stomach will be bigger, she'll be doing more in the daytime anyway - why are these people so stupid about these things?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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NotQuiteCockney · 27/11/2008 11:13

You know, if you don't teach her to drive now, she never will.

Oh ... no ... wait.

Your HV is an arse. Ignore her.

cockles · 27/11/2008 11:14

All HVS (almost) are complete twats. Tell her to f*&(& off and don't go back.

DwayneDibbley · 27/11/2008 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pooter · 27/11/2008 11:15

you dont have to see her. as soon as i met a likeminded friend we both stopped seeing our HV as she just spouted the 'cry to sleep' 'how many bottles are they one now' - NONE IM BREASFEEDING YOU LOON 'co sleeping is bad' crap.

have you been on slingmeet.com? you will be able to find lots of lovely babywearers close to you and go to meetups. its so much better to have a network of people you can talk to without expecting criticism.

It sounds like you are doing the very best for your DD. Ignore the silly old-fashioned woman and find alternative sources of support.

xx

Mumi · 27/11/2008 11:17

Lol NQC!

Do what works for you, not your HV

DisasterArea · 27/11/2008 11:18

i'm sure there is a section in HV training entitled 'stupid things to say to mothers that will cause endless worry and upset'. if they don't get an A they don't get their HV uniform.
you know she is talking bollox.

Spidermama · 27/11/2008 11:19

Your HV is spectacularly wrong. It's criminal that these fools continue to get paid for dishing out such ignorance. I think when they train, module one is called The Needs of the Mother and Child and How Best to Rid Roughshod Over Them.

Spidermama · 27/11/2008 11:19

Disaster. X posts.

ilovemyghds · 27/11/2008 11:22

Just ignore her.

girlandboy · 27/11/2008 11:22

Ignore her! That's the best advice I can give.

Saw my hv religiously for my first baby.
Saw my hv once with my second because she was full of crap.

Consider how many babies are in slings all around the world, in places where there are no prams ie. Africa, it would be crazy to say that you are doing things wrong. I have to say that I can't even remember seeing a baby cry whilst in a sling. Of course your baby enjoys being close to you! What could be nicer than snuggling up to mummy. It makes me cross that we are meant to be "cruel to be kind" to our kids. Love never hurt anyone.

Carry on with what you are doing, and don't bother seeing the hv again.

ilovemyghds · 27/11/2008 11:23

(I mean the HV not other posters!)

chloemegjess · 27/11/2008 11:25

Ignore you HV. I don't see mine very often. If my DD hadn't had weight problems then I wouldn't go at all. I go if I am a bit worried and need to get her weighed. But to be honest, I keep it as short as possible or I always come out fuming!

I have only ever seen one HV who actually helped me and gave me good advice about my DDs weight and helped me with what foods to give her to get extra caleries etc. But that was a one off, I haven't had any good advice since.

It is awful as it is our Tax money that pays for it an 98% of them are all crap.

glasgowstyle · 27/11/2008 11:27

Babyslings are super - ignore your very stupid hv

peachsmuggler · 27/11/2008 11:32

Your HV is a nutter. Smile sweetly at her and continue to use/enjoy the sling!

fondant4000 · 27/11/2008 11:40

I only saw hv once with dd1 and once with dd2. Avoid!

I guess she may be seeing you because of the reflux? Just tell her the GP or consultant told you to use a sling.

She's mad as a biscuit

arcticlemming · 27/11/2008 12:01

I'm an ex HV and it's people like your HV that made me feel the whole thing was a waste of time so I gave up.
Just don't go and see her. She's mad and ill-informed. If I wanted my babies weighed I used to take them to mothercare and use the scales in the car-seat section (partly because I got so incredibly fed up with my mad HV calling DD "he" all the time, even when fully dressed in pink and then stripped naked to show the somewhat obvious lack of willy).

wasabipeanut · 27/11/2008 12:10

My HV was a bit like this. DS was a proper little velcro baby and I wore a sling a lot. MY HV said "well you can't carry him around all the time". I assumed she meant well but ignored her. I didn't have the energy to argue. We also co slept (with ds not HV - that would just be wierd).

DS, amazingly, is now not remotely clingy unless he's teething or ill, can self settle to sleep etc. I wasted a lot of energy in the early days worrying that my ds would never be able to settle himself but really, in my considered opinion 'tis all tosh.

Just do what you need to do!

cheesesarnie · 27/11/2008 12:14

ignore her.

i think slings are the most wonderful way of bonding(especially if like me your unable to bf),giving comfort and a way of getting stuff done!

do what feels right to you!

claireybee · 27/11/2008 12:15

Just ignore her, easier said than done I know but don't let her feel like you are doing anything wrong by using a sling.

FWIW DS was in the sling pretty much all day (and a lot of the night too) until he was 5 months and sleeps fine in his cot now (and goes in the buggy no probs although I do still like to carry him!)

(Also LOL at there being no prams in Africa!)

mabanana · 27/11/2008 12:17

You know what the answer is, don't you? Stop seeing the HV! And before you do, if you are feeling assertive, say, 'I fully intend to keep using this sling as it is the best thing for my baby, and I'd appreciate it if you stop being so negative as it is stressful and unhelpful'
Just see the GP.

Original poster
tenacityflux · 27/11/2008 12:31

I agree with all of you!I intend to wear her to our next health check and every other, and if i get any more coments, she better watch out!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
cmotdibbler · 27/11/2008 12:37

Don't see the silly woman again !

My DS is 2.6 and I still carry him in a sling when we are out and his legs are tired, never did controlled crying, and co-slept part time till he was 18 months. And he goes to sleep on his own, and stays firmly asleep for 12 hours.

If you and your DD are happy, then that is what matters. And slings are soooo much more practical anyway

filthymindedvixen · 27/11/2008 12:46

A word of warning - your health visitor may be right.
I carried round my now 11 year-old and 8 year-old-boys round in slings from day one.
And now, both of them still insist on me carrying them around!

And I still have to breast feed them to sleep.

Not!

cheesesarnie · 27/11/2008 12:55

filthymindedvixen-they get really heavy dont they!

mrsgboring · 27/11/2008 13:03

An otherwise totally fantastic MW at my local Baby Cafe told me witheringly that I "can't keep doing that" and would have to "sort something out" with DS in a sling. I felt crushed, but then I looked round and realised that I was the only one in the entire place that day who ate my lunch with BOTH HANDS (MW was holding one of twins while the mum held the other). I decided there and then I wasn't doing it all wrong.

I carried on doing what I was doing and d'ye know what? She did learn! Several months down the line when I patently had had neither a hernia nor a nervous breakdown, she waxed lyrical about how marvellously practical my wrap was and how it mimicked exactly the structure of the abdominal muscles.

People are vile to new mothers full stop - they just tell you that whatever method you;ve worked out is never going to work, listen to the voice of experience etc. etc.

There is a very small study that discovered wearing a colicky baby reduced crying by some incredible amount like six hours per day (sorry can't remember details). You are doing exactly the right thing.